


Darkness on the Horizon

by Cormyay



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Annoying Force Ghosts, Anxiety, Ben becomes a Jedi, Ben using the Force like a beast, First Times, Fluff and Angst, Hux defects the first order, Lightside au, M/M, Mental Instability, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Time Skips, Underage kissing but nothing explicit, Violence and sass, brief unaware self harm, okay a lot of fluff sometimes you've been warned, poor baby Ben
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-06-05 13:33:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 55,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6706369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cormyay/pseuds/Cormyay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hux had once dreamed of ruling the galaxy himself but soon found out that it didn't come without a price. He defects to The Resistance before graduating the academy not wanting to simply be a tool for the First Order to use. Once on base he meets Ben who has troubles of his own, but they soon build a friendship and much more as the years go on, but things aren't always easy.</p><p> </p><p>*Tags to be updated with chapters</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fiction to write. I'm drowning in kylux and I've had this story in my head for awhile now and just had to write it. This is unbetad so I apologize for any mistakes.
> 
> Thank you for reading and hope you enjoy!

If Hux could say anything about what he was doing right now, he would that say it would probably get him killed one day, he just hoped it wouldn't be today. He'd grown up his whole life being told that the galaxy needed to be saved from itself. That the Republic only cared about themselves and the luxury they lived in. That if the systems were left to their own devices they would destroy themselves. After the collapse of the Empire something needed to take its place. A force that would rule with an iron fist and make all those who opposed bow before it. The First Order would be the guiding hand for the galaxy. Take away the freedom of the people and peace would find them.

He had begun to believe differently however, he no longer believed in absolute power. The galaxy would fight it, like they had against the Empire. The galaxy wasn't meant to be ruled by a single group, it was childish to think otherwise. The tactics they used were cruel and barbarian, stealing children away from their homes to make armies. Most weren't willing to fight for the First Order's cause, they were being forced to. He had already seen enough of what the First Order did to its own people, to know that they didn't do it for the benefit of the galaxy. The did it for the absolute power it would give them, they hid behind mystical powerful beings, convincing themselves they were just.

He was currently on his way to a planet light years away from his previous home on Arkanis. He was leaving everything behind, his family, the First Order, and the life he had known. He wouldn't be used as a tool to murder and destroy, only to be easily replaced once his usefulness had run its course. 

The Republic didn't choose sides, and had believed that the peace treaty with the remnants of the Empire wouldn't be broken, but they were wrong to believe that. There had been rumors of a new group forming, separate from The Republic, The Resistance, who knew better than to believe that. The location of the Resistance was unknown and he was desperate to find it. If he was found now he'd be killed for treason, it wouldn't matter that he was the Commandant's son.  
He was currently on his way to Takodona, he had heard whispers of the place, that there was a watering hole where creatures from all over the galaxy gathered. Word was that there was a woman who had been running the place for hundreds of years, he was hoping she could point him in the right direction. 

He had been planning this defection for months now. He had been a student of the junior academy his father had overseen for a few years now, they were allowed small breaks to return home. Soon he would have been graduating to the senior academy where he would be forced to board with the other cadets until he completely graduated from the academy, this was his last chance to leave. The first night back home he'd had another violent conversation between him and his father about his perfect scores not being perfect enough. His mother and housekeepers again doing nothing about it, too scared for their own lives, he understood, but still resented them all the same. When he was younger and the arguments first started he had tried to fight back, but soon learned that he didn’t have much of a chance against someone twice his size and it ended quicker if he was passive. The damage this time only resulted in a black eye, busted lip and bruised ribs he counted himself lucky, and he decided there was no better time to leave. He waited until everyone was asleep, wearing the school uniform he had come home in. He snuck out and took his father’s personal shuttle, hoping to add more insult to his defection on the way out. 

He landed the shuttle in a small clearing surrounded by tall trees. He grabbed the few things he'd grabbed on the way out of his house; a small blaster, a black trench coat and a few credits. He exited the small ship and walked a few paces away and then detonated the explosive he had rigged up. The ship had a tracking device, but he was sure he had destroyed it before anyone was able to pick up his location. He watched as the fire erased what was left of his old life. He took a steadying breath before turning and making the long walk to where Maz Kanata's place was. The planet was hot and humid, the forest floor covered in bright green moss but at least it wasn’t raining like it did everyday on Arkanis. He finally made it to the edge of a large lake and looked across to see the brown building he'd been looking for. He walked along the edge of the lake towards the building, continuing to hope that this woman he had heard of could help him make it to the Resistance.  
Even though he was drenched in sweat he slung is trench coat on before climbing the steps, it helped to hide the blaster he carried and for some reason made him feel a little safer wrapped up in it. He had been sure to remove all First Order insignia before leaving. He took another calming breath before pushing the door open and walking in. 

He had expected the bar/inn to be crowded but this was worse than he expected. The place was packed with creatures of all shapes, sizes, and colors. He quickly swept through the crowd not wanting to draw attention to himself. He tried his best not to stare at anything, he had at least learned manners from the academy. He didn’t know what this Maz woman looked like, and there were so many life forms here and the noise was overwhelming. He was starting to get anxiety the back of his mind kept telling him he would be caught and killed any moment. He clenched his fists to dig his nails into his palms to center himself as he made his way to the bar, knowing the bartender could surely point him in the right direction.  
He suddenly froze when he felt someone grab his wrist, this was it, he had been caught. He slowly turned around to face who had grabbed him but saw no one until he looked down. A small orange skinned woman was still holding his wrist and looking in his eyes straight through his soul.  
He cleared his throat and composed himself, “May I help you?” he tried to say as politely as possible.

“Hmmm” the woman squinted up at him, “It seems like you are the one in need of some help, I’m Maz I run this place.” She released his wrist and started turning around to walk away and motioned to him. “Follow me.”

He let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding in and followed the small woman. How had she known he was looking for her. She sat the two of them at a small table in a corner close to the wall. 

“Aren’t you a little young to be traveling around alone?”  
He tried not to let any irritation show on his face, “I’m 16 and more than capable of handling myself.”

“Even against the First Order?” she gave a slight smile.

He swallowed hard, “that’s why I’m here, I’m trying to find the Resistance, I’ve heard rumors you know where to find them.”

“Hmmm I know where it is, but if I help you get there how do I know you won’t betray them someday, like you are the First Order? I have many friends there who have fought hard to keep peace in the galaxy.” She eyed him questioningly.

“I want the same thing for the galaxy, if they give me sanctuary there I’d be more than willing to give them information on the First Order to help fight against them.” He hardened his eyes back at her.

She relaxed her face, “I see fire and passion in your eyes, it would do well to have you on the Resistance's side. I can find you a ride there, but I cannot guarantee how willingly The Resistance will accept you, that will all depend on you and their General of course.”

He let out another small breath he had been holding in and finally felt himself relax a tiny bit, “thank you.”

The woman leaned closer to him across the table, “do you see that man over there at a table near the door?” she pointed to a table behind him and he turned to see who she was talking about.  
“The mans name is Han, he runs a shipping company, but seems to be taking a break at the moment and can travel from place to place rather quickly.” He didn’t look like the most trust worthy person, but he couldn’t be picky at this point. “He can get you to the Resistance Base, though he usually doesn’t give transportation for cheap.”

He opened his mouth to begin telling her he didn’t have much money but she interrupted him, “I’m sure I can get him to make an exception this time.”

He turned in his seat to watch the woman walk up to the mans table and give him a quick smile before becoming serious. They almost seemed to argue a bit before the man turned his head to make eye contact with him. The man turned back to Maz and sighed swiping a hand down his face and nodded. The man looked back at him and flicked his head back motioning for him to come over. He got up and walked to stand next to Maz, hands clasped behind his back. The older man took him in, obviously noticing his bruises before talking, “Maz here says you need a ride?”

“Yes sir that’s right, I really need to get to the Resistance base.”

“I can give you a ride kid, apparently I need to get back home anyways.” Maz nodded her head in approval.

"Thank you so much sir.” He reached his hand out to shake the man’s hand.

The older man took his hand and shook, “No problem kid, the name's Han Solo.”

“Just call me Hux,” he didn’t feel the need to give anyone his full name just yet.

“Alright Hux, take a seat we’ll leave soon.”

Maz spoke again, “Tell the General and Luke I said hello, and of course Chewie." she winked. 

“Of course Maz."

Hux sat quietly and watched Han finish his drink in a few gulps before he sighed, “Alright lets get this over with.” 

They stood up and he followed Han toward the door, he turned around one last time to give a small smile to Maz. They made their way out of the bar and started heading towards where the ships were parked. They stopped in front of a ship that looked like it would fall apart at any moment. He must have shown his displeasure on his face because the man pointed a finger at him.

“It may not look like much but this is one of the fastest ships in the galaxy, I made all the modifications myself, so if you feel like judging it you can find another ride.” The way he said made it seem like he had explained it many times.

Hux smoothed out his expression, Han was his only chance, “Of course Mr.Solo, I can’t thank you enough.”

Han sighed, “dotn calls me mister Solo or sir, just Han is fine you’re making me feel old.” he sighed again and mumbled under his breath,“…even my son doesn’t call me sir.” 

“I apologize si- er Han.”

he folowed Han onto the ramp of the ship, thanking the Maker he had made it this far.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again unbetad so sorry for any mistakes.
> 
> Hope you enjoy! \\(^.^)

Once aboard the Falcon Hux takes a seat at a round chair curved around a small table and watches Han make his way to the cockpit. He takes a moment to look around the ship and take in his surroundings, the ship is anything but clean. Spare parts of machinery, wires and tools clutter the floors and walls of the ship its disorienting. Taking in a deep breath he tries to refocus himself and what awaits at the Resistance base. He knows there will be an interrogation, he's sure their General is anything but naïve to trust someone just arriving claiming defection. He trusts his instincts that he’s making the right decision by going to the “enemies” base. 

He could have easily picked an obscure planet, even the New Republic to start a new life, but he wouldn’t be able to pretend the First Order's agenda of ruling the galaxy didn’t exist. War would come eventually and he wouldn’t be a passive participant in the slaughter. 

Hux wondered briefly if his father would even care about his disappearance, besides the fact that it would make him look bad, his son going defecting. He tried to imagine the look on his father’s face when he was told his son and personal shuttle were gone. He hoped the bastard suffered in some way, even if only by his reputation. 

He was pulled from his thoughts when he felt the ship come to life. He could also barely make out Han talking to someone. He considered briefly that it would be wrong to pry, but chose to listen in anyways.

“Hey guess who’s on their way home…yes I know…look I’m sorry I know I should be better about keeping you updated with what I doing.”

Hux now felt like he was prying into a private conversation but continued to listen. He felt the ship leave the atmosphere of the planet before shifting into lightspeed as Han continued to talk.

“I’m bringing someone with me, says he needs to talk to you.”

Ah, so Han was talking to the General.

“I didn’t ask too much…well I don’t know that….or that give me a second.

He could hear Han shift in his chair to tell over his shoulder, “ hey kid where did you say you come from again?” Han shouted from the cockpit.

Well there was no sense in lying, “I come from Arkanis, I was a student of the First Order Academy there.”

“He says he's with the First Order.”

Hux could almost hear the General yelling over the comm. Han lowered his voice to a whisper and he strained to hear.

“You don’t need to start yelling okay…he’s just a kid...alright...shouldn’t be more than a few hours…I’ll see you then.” he heard Han let out a long sigh.

There were a few minutes of silence before Han spoke up again, “Hux you know anything about flying?”

Hux stood up and walked to stand behind Han sitting in the pilot seat, “I do, I was trained in the mechanics and piloting of several different aircrafts.”

“Good, why don’t you have a seat.” Han motioned to the copilot seat.

Hux sat in the copilot seat, not sure if he was expected to do anything, another couple of minutes passed in silence before Han broke it again.

“You mind telling me what the First Order is, and why you ran away?” Han said without taking his gaze off of the viewport.

So he wasn't here to help pilot, Han just wanted to talk, he shook his head, “I didn’t run away, I chose to change my future. They’re a group that’s gathered from what remains of the old Empire. They still hold on to the ideals of the Empire, and they mean to one day try and rule the galaxy.” He turned his head to face Han, who had taken on a look of sad acknowledgement.

“Guess believing the treaty they signed would be honored was wishful thinking.” Han ran a hand across his face.

“You helped lead the rebellion, along side Princess Organa and Luke Skywalker, didn't you? I felt I recognized your name, but it wasn't until I saw your ship that it all came together.”

“It’s true. They teach you that stuff at the academy?” Han turned to face Hux.

”Yes, but I can tell you from what I was taught about the Galactic War in the academy, they didn’t exactly use the nicest words to describe you.” 

“I’m sure Rebel Scum was a popular one” Han smirked.

“It may have been. I apologize for prying, but from what I overheard of your conversation earlier your General doesn’t seem happy about you bringing me with you, you won’t get in trouble for this will you?”

“What did your academy teach you about Princess Organa?” Han looked almost amused.  
Hux took a second to think, “They called her ruthless and intelligent, the main force behind the Rebellion and fall of the Empire, someone not to be underestimated in the future.”

“Do they now, well guess who now leads the new Rebellion kid?” Han placed a hand on his shoulder, “I’m not the only one who's going to get a stern talking to” and gave him a big smile.

Hux was stunned for a moment, there hadn’t been much information known about the Resistance, nothing on their location or commanding officers. He had thought the General of the new Rebellion would be a military man like his father. He would have known the right things to say to convey to the a man like that of his new allegiance. But from what he knew of Organa she would not be so easy to believe, and now somewhat worried about what tactics they would use to make sure he was telling the truth.

“Don’t worry,” Han squeezed his shoulder before letting it go, “she’s not as bad as propaganda has made her out to be. Why don’t you go get some rest, we still have four hours before we arrive.”

“Thank you Han,” he stood from his chair to start walking back to his original seat.

Han turned his chair to face him for a moment, “Hux, I’ve met a lot of people in my time, so I feel I can read them pretty well. You may have been raised by people without a conscious or emotion, but that doesn’t mean that’s who you are. I can tell you want to do the right thing, just be honest with the General and she’ll see that too.”

Hux nodded his head and gave a half smile, “I suppose I can blame my mother for that, she grew up in a nicer place. She tried to teach me compassion and understanding when I was much younger. I mean before my father thought it wise to beat that kind of parenting out of her,” he faltered when he saw Han glance at the bruises across his cheek, “I would have tried to bring her with me but, I know she would have said resisted, she is too used to the life she has now.”

He could tell he had made Han uncomfortable but was surprised by his next words, “You don’t get to choose who your parents are or who they let themselves become,” he pointed a finger at him, “but you can choose how much you let it affect you and shape who you become.”

He could only give a nod of confirmation, wanting to believe in Han’s words, before turning and walking back towards the round chair and table. As he walked towards it he could see that behind the chair there was a bed built into the wall. He chose to lay there, grabbing his coat on the way to use as a pillow. Maybe he could get a little bit of rest before they arrived he would probably need it. He laid down on the small bed on his right side facing the wall. His left side was bruised and he was careful to keep weight off of the still very sore ribs. It was a pulsing reminder though of how far he had come and how much step stronger this would make him. He had to curl up to fit his body in the bed but he felt more comfortable that he had in a long time.

-

He wakes up to someone’s hand on his shoulder and quickly snaps up to grab and twist it. He immediately lets go when he hears Han curse and sees him fall to his knees to twist his body along with his arm. 

“I'm so sorry Han,” he hadn’t remembered falling asleep and his instinct had just kicked in at the touch.

Han began pushing himself off the ground and Hux scrambled off the bed to help, “It's alright I’m fine, ive been through worse. Quite a grip you got there though,” Han chuckled to himself as he rubbed his wrist.

“Well you don’t make it through the academy without being overly sensitive of your surroundings,” he crossed his arms across his chest, adrenaline still rushing through him.

“I came to tell you we’re almost there, we’ll be landing in a few minutes,” Han returned to the cockpit and Hux unfolded his coat to put it back on trying to smooth out the wrinkles.  
He feels the ship leave light speed and soon enter the planet's atmosphere. He’s stays seated, forcing himself not to pace in the small space as they land. He stands as Han shuts the engines off and walks passed him to the exit. 

Han stops and turns to him, “probably be best if you gave me the weapon you have.”

“Of course,” he unclips the blaster from his belt and hands it to Han. It was the last defense he had but assures himself he would not need it anyways. He watches as Han lowers the ramp and exits, he waits and gathers himself for a moment before following him out. 

He stops at the end of the ramp to let his eyes adjust to the brightness once he is off the ship. It looks as if most of the base’s structures are underground. There are large hangers scattered around that lead down into the earth, Xwings are scattered here and there and a few soldiers walk around. He spots Han talking to a small group of people, two soldiers stand on either side of a shorter woman. Her hair is in one long braid, brown with highlights of gray intertwining in it. She doesn’t look happy as Han talks while gesturing with his hands. She remains still with a stern look on her face, she must General Organa. As he gets closer he can start to hear their conversation

“…and how do you know for sure that he isn’t a spy sent by the First Order, and you just led him right to us?” the General says.

“I’ve talked to him Leia he’s just a kid, listen to what he has to say, you should believe I wouldn’t put you at risk.”

It made sense for her to suspect him of being a spy, she would be naive not to, but the accusation makes him start slowing his steps as he gets closer. He's looking at the General when she sees him over Han's shoulder, she makes eye contact with him and he can see in her eyes where the term ruthless came to be.

She motions with her hand and head, “Come forward.”

Han turns his body to the side to give him room to stand directly in front of her, he stands at attention as he puts his hand out, “General Organa it is an honor to meet you and I can not thank you enough for allowing me to come here.”

She eyes him before taking his hand and giving him a firm handshake, “Welcome to D'Qar, as I’m sure you’re aware we will need to ask you a few questions right away.”

“Of course General I understand,” they release their grip on each other.

She turns to the man on her right, “search him.”

Han goes to protest, “Leia I already took his weapon.”

She simply gives him a look and Han quiets, “It’s okay Han I can understand taking precaution.”

He raises both arms in the air as the soldier walks towards him. The soldier starts at his ankles up his legs and then past his stomach and chest. He can’t help but let out a small hiss of pain as the soldier hits particularly hard on his ribs. 

She eyes him curiously, “you’re injured elsewhere, how?”

He looks at Han who had seemed to understand where the injuries had come from and turns back to the General, “I’d rather not discuss that right now if that’s okay?” he says as the soldier finishes his search and gives a reassuring nod to the General that he's clean.

“That's fine,” she turns to Han “anything else?” and there is poison in her words.  
Hux could tell from the way they interacted that they weren’t on the best of terms. He wonders what had happened between the War and now.

“Where’s he at?” is all Han says.

“How should I know he hides from me and hardly talks to me anymore Han,” he can now feel sadness in her words.

“I’ll go find him.”

“Good, might do some good for you to actually spend some time with him.”

He is starting to feel uncomfortable standing there listening to them go back and forth. Han just sighs before looking at him, “Good luck kid,” and starts walking away. 

He's left there to wonder what he’s gotten himself into, had this really been the smartest option. The General watches Han walk away for a moment before turning back to him, “let’s go, this way.”  
A soldier takes a position on either side of him as they follow the General. They reach a hanger and go through a door that leads to a long hallway. Its quiet save for the sound of their boots echoing down the empty corridor. They stop at a door and one of the soldiers opens the door and motions for him to go in. 

“Please take a seat and I’ll be with you shortly,” the General says as he walks in. He nods and they leave him alone in the room shutting the door behind them.

It’s stark white and empty save for the small table and a chair on either side of it. He can’t help but be nervous now, he had done everything respectively and been as honest and cordial as he could up to this point. He wondered though how much of that would even matter.

He slides the chair out and sits to collect his thoughts. He was ready to tell them what ever they wanted, that’s why he was here. He wonders though what kind of tortures the Resistance employs, should they suspect he is keeping anything from them. They already know that he's been injured so they could use that against him. He keeps his face passive not knowing if he’s being recorded, but can’t help but clench his hands on the table digging his nails into his palms. He can take it, whatever they do, it couldn’t be as bad as what the First Order did. He had gotten exemplary marks on both applying and receiving the various forms of torture they used. 

All he could now was sit and wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I should be able to get the next chapter out in a couple of days
> 
> Come bug me on Tumblr I enjoy talking about kylux...it's consumed my life haha
> 
> ragingsolo.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben makes his grand appearance, for the sake of this fic I've made them closer to the same age. Hux is 16 Ben is 14, everyone else will be their Canon ages :)

Leia entered the room that was located directly next to the room that Hux was occupying. The inside of the questioning room he was in just appeared to consist of four white walls. From inside this room however a viewing window allowed whoever was inside to look into the questioning room unbeknownst. When Han had called her and told her he was bringing someone from a First Order Territory she immediately contacted Luke.

A couple of years ago he had started a new Jedi Academy on Yavin IV and had begun teaching a new generation in the ways of the Force. She hadn’t wanted to interrupt his teachings but she needed his help in accessing the motives of the young man.

As she entered she gave Luke a small smile, “Thank you Luke for coming on such short notice.”

He gave her a smile back, “It’s not a problem Leia.”

She turned to look through the window at Hux, “he's really so young.”

“True, he's closer to Ben's age but not much younger than we were when we fought the Empire if you think about it.”

“That’s true, it's a little crazy to think about all the things we did then isn't?”

“It is, it still feels like it happened not that long ago,” Luke faced Leia, “so you’re concerned he might be an informant for the First Order?”

“I did at first when Han said he was on his way with him, but now I’m not so sure that’s the case. But I just want to be sure, I wouldn't put it past the First Order too use a kid as a sacrifice to further themselves.”

“I understand,” Luke took on a sad look, “I had hoped something like this wouldn't happen again for a long time, certainly not again in our life time. Looks like those who still believed in the Empire don’t want to give up.”

Leia could only nod in agreement, she caught movement out of the corner of her eye, Hux was sitting still with a blank look on his face, but he was clenching his fists that rested on the table.

“Are you able to pick up on his thoughts right now?”

Luke closed his eyes and focused on Hux in the other room. The teens face might have been blank but his mind was racing, but the main emotion he picked up was anxiety and Luke caught onto a thought.

Luke opened his eyes and faced Leia again, “he thinks you'll have him tortured.”

“Why does he think that, if he’s truly being honest about joining us?”

“It’s what the First Order would do if the situation were reversed,” Luke studied Hux for another moment,” he's nervous but he's ready to prove himself to you.”

Leia turned her body back towards the door where C3PO had been standing,

“C3PO would you please prepare a room for Hux, use the empty room down hall 3A please, I plan to keep this short.”

“Right away Prin-“ Leia gave him a look, “I mean General,” he turned too leave and mumbled to himself, “I’m afraid I’ll never get used to that.”

She turned back to Luke for a moment, “I’ll ask him a few questions, just let me know if you feel him start lying,” she tapped the earpiece she was wearing. Luke gave her a nod and she was out the door.

\---

  
The door swishes open behind him and he can’t help but flinch. He turns to see the General walk in, a glass of water in each hand and smiling. He isn’t sure what to make of that just yet. He knew of Leia Organa's parentage, Darth Vader had ruled mercilessly and without conscious. He didn’t know what to expect from his daughter. Even though she fought against the Empire it didn’t mean she wouldn’t use some of the same tactics Vader had to get information out of people.

“I apologize for the wait,” she comes to sit in the seat across from Hux and hands him one of the glasses, “I figured you’ve had a long day and might be thirsty.”

He was really thirsty actually, Takodana had been unbearably hot, though he was glad to have his coat now as the room he was in was freezing, he cleared his throat, “I am actually, thank you.”

She let him take a few gulps before starting to ask him questions, “Now Hux I don’t know what the First Order Academy has taught you about us or what methods we employ but I can assure you that we aren’t going to harm you.”

Hux raises his eyes up to look Leia in the eyes questioningly and sees the promise in her eyes, but doesn’t respond.

“Okay? Just tell me the truth.”

“Yes General I understand,” and sits himself up a little straighter.

“So I suppose the first question I need to ask you is why you decided to defect from the First Order?”

Hux gathered his thoughts for a moment, “Their aim is to rule over the galaxy, and I don't believe in their cause.”

“And why is that?”

“They're under the assumption that the galaxy will bow and willingly give itself up. I'm smart enough to know that's not how it's going to happen. There will be another war and probably more deaths than during the Galactic War against the Empire. I'm against unnecessary violence,” he knew if you wanted the trust of the people you had to earn not simply demand it.

“Why would you come here, you could have gone anywhere, started a new life somewhere else.”

“I couldn’t just ignore what they plan to eventually do, it would find me one day, so why not join the Resistance and be an active participant in the fight.”

“I see, and how were you able to leave, it doesn’t seem like they’d just let you walk out.”

“I had been going to the junior academy on Arkanis for three year now. You learn the basics, combat strategies, fighting, shooting and of course taught New Republic propaganda. Its not easy and some don’t live through it, there were always empty seats in my classroom at the end of the year,” Hux had to admit to himself that a couple were by his own hand but he did what he had to do to survive, “There was never really an opportunity to leave and I wasn’t really all that confident I could pull it off to be honest. My last year at the junior academy had just ended and we were all sent home for a short break before entering the senior academy. I knew it was probably my last chance to leave so I took it. I waited until my parents were asleep and stole my father’s ship and headed to Takodana, where I heard rumors that Resistance supporters sometimes visited an inn there. I was lucky that the rumors I had been true."

He wasn't sure why she asked, “Is that where you received your injuries?”

Hux fidgeted in his seat before answering, “yes,” he didn’t want the General thinking he had defected simply because he didn’t see eye to eye with his parents, that he we just running away from home. Sure he was glad to be away from that hell, but it was a small part in the grand scheme of things.

Leia heard Luke chime in, “he's lying though I’m not sure why.”

She leaned in a little closer to Hux, “You need to be honest with me Hux.”

How could she tell me wasn’t telling the true, Hux crossed his arms over his chest, he doesn’t understand why this matters he’s starting to feel like damaged goods, “Like I said the academy is not easy, and certainly not any easier at home when your father is the one that oversees said academy,” he takes a deep breath before continuing, “any tiny slip up and he found out, I had to work twice as hard to get where I was and it still wasn’t good enough,” he had to look away, he hadn’t meant to get so worked up and did not want to show this kind of weakness to the General.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

Hux had to let out small laugh, “you should have seen me when he was really angry,” Hux shook his head, he didn’t need the General’s pity, he decided to change the subject, “I have to thank Mr. Solo, if it weren’t for him I’m not sure I would have made it here.”

To his relief she let the subject drop, “Yes my husband seems to have a penchant for staying away for long periods of time. Though I’m glad he was in the right place at the right time.”

Hux was confused for a second, “your husband General? That scruffy looking-“ he stopped himself, “I’m sorry that was out of line.”

Leia heard Luke make a small sound that sounded like a laugh before she laughed herself, “Yes I’m not quite sure what I see in him myself sometimes,” she started standing up, “I know you’ve had a long day so I’m sure you’re tired, so I’ve prepared a room for you.”

“You don’t have any more questions for me?” that was it?

“The rest can wait until later, I know I can now trust your intentions here.” 

The door opened again and this time a man with slightly greying blond hair and loose robes came walking in. He walked to stand next to the General.  
“Hux this is my brother Luke Skywalker, I’ve had him listening in on our conversation. You have to understand I wanted to be sure you were telling the truth and Luke here can tell.”

Hux was speech less for a moment before standing up from his seat, “the Luke Skywalker? Who was able to destroy the Death Star?” Hux had heard many tales of Luke Skywalker, how he was able to destroy the Super weapon the Empire built by being able to land a hit on an impossible target.

Luke looked almost shy, “yes well I did have some help. You’re brave to leave everything behind to come here. We appreciate anything you can tell us. Of course there is plenty of time and we can wait until another time.”

Leia turned to her brother, “Luke would you mind taking Hux to medbay before showing him to his room?”

“That’s really not necessary.” Hux tried to protest, he didn’t need coddling.

“It’s unnecessary to be in pain for no reason,” she gave him a stern look that told him there was no room for argument.

“Come on follow me,” Luke clapped Hux on the shoulder before whispering, “there’s really no arguing with her.”

“I heard that,” she crossed her arms across her chest.

“I know,” Luke smirked before starting to make his way to the door.

Before Hux followed he had to turn to the General, “I can’t thank you enough, I hope to continue to be useful to you in the future. I want to help in any way to stop the First Order from succeeding,” determination strong in his eyes.

“I have no doubt of that.”

The walk to medbay was mostly in quiet, what do you even talk about to someone like Luke Skywalker. He tried to memorize the different hallways and Luke pointed out Leia's office to him on the way. 

When they arrived they were greeted by a slightly older woman with short brown hair. She rose from her desk to greet them, “Hello Luke, it’s been awhile.”

“Yes it has Dr. Kalonia, I’ve brought Hux here to have you take a look at his injuries and see about getting him fixed up.”

“Certainly please have a seat,” she motioned to a bench, he sat on it and watched as she readied bacta patches/sprays and caught up with Luke. Was Luke going to stay in here, although he still needed to show him to his room he felt awkward, he may have just wanted to keep an eye on him. 

Luke looked up to him, “I can leave if it would make you more comfortable, you’re not being kept under surveillance.”

“Its fine,” he should be over being shy but he was hating being treated like a kid. He had to remind himself that The Resistance ran differently than what he was used to. They didn’t have an ulterior motive in their kindness.

The doctor used a spray for his mouth and brought up a Basra bandage to stick on his cheek bone, “you’ll need to leave this on for around two days to fully heal. You won’t need to change the bandage before removing it unless you get it wet. Do you have any other injuries?”

He looked to Luke who knew her be lying if he said no, “Yes on my chest and stomach.”

“Okay please remove your jackets and shirt for me.”

He removed his coat and folded it in half across the bench and took off his uniform jacket and folded it neatly before laying it on the bench as well. As he began removing his undershirt it must have been worse than he thought from the look the two gave him. 

“I’ll need to scan to see the extent of the damage,” she gave him a concerned look.

“Okay.” 

Turns out he had a cracked rib that would take about a week to heal even with changing the Bacta pads daily. They left the medbay with strict instructions for him to come back by everyday to change the bandages. As they walked the halls again they didn’t discuss much which he was thankful for because he was exhausted and it would soon be night time on the planet.

Up ahead Hux could see an antique looking gold droid walking towards them and began speaking to Luke, “Master Luke the room you requested is ready.”

“Thank you,” Luke turned to him, “Hux this is C3PO he can help you get anything you may need.”

“Okay, thank you.”

“I’ll leave you here to get some rest, I’ll be staying on this planet for a couple more weeks so I’m sure we’ll see each other around.”

As Luke walked away he turned to the droid who led him to his room, were he had dinner waiting for him. When he entered the room it was not what he expected, he for some reason had been expecting a room similar to a holding cell. The room they had given him was reasonably big, furnished with a bed, table and chairs, a desk and small dresser. He could see another door and it led to a refresher with shower and other utilities. He caught his reflection in the mirror and stopped to look at himself. This is how he had looked to the General, he looked pathetic. His hair was loose and unruly and the left side of his face an ugly purple. He tries to smooth his hair back to its usual slicked back but to no avail. He grips the edge of the sink, it was something so insignificant but it reflected how low he felt right now.

As he leaves the refresher he sees a set of sleeping clothes laid out for him, but right now he’s too tired to care about changing. He shoves his boots off and flops onto the bed. As he closes his eyes he knows sleep will come quickly. He's startled awake by the sound of a beep. He opens his eyes to see a blinking light coming from something on the dresser next to his bed. He drags his body closer to the dresser to see its coming from a datapad and it has a message waiting for him from General Organa.

_'Hux I’ve provided you with this datapad, us it for whatever you may need. I’ve also input my contact information. If you are up for another meeting with me tomorrow to further discuss anything please come to my office whenever you are ready.'_

As soon as he has read the message his eyes fall shut again. For the first time in a long time he sleeps soundly.

\---

  
When he wakes the next morning he knows it's early, even on an unfamiliar planet his body is still stuck on a 7 hour sleep cycle. He’s still in the same position that he fell asleep in, he's not quite ready to get up yet but does anyways. He makes his way to the refresher and strips out of his dirty clothes and takes a little longer than usual in the hot shower careful to keep the bandage on his face dry. As he finishes putting on the sleepwear they provided he gets a knock on the door.   
He opens the door and is greeted by the droid from yesterday who has brought him breakfast. 

“Is there anything else you require Mr.Hux?”

“Just Hux is fine, and actually can you have something cleaned for me?” he takes the tray of food from the droid and sets it down on the table and grabs the clothes he came in along with his coat.

“Certainly sir.”

“Thank you.”

His breakfast is amazing, eggs and bread, complete with fresh fruit, he only got this kind of food when he was at his family home. It was nothing like the bland food he got at the academy or on ships he visited.

The droid soon returns with his clothes and he goes back to the refresher to put them on. He decides to go see the General after he messaged to make sure she was available to see him. He tries to wet his hair and slick it back but it’s useless, his bangs lay flat across his forehead. He's not sure if can even bother them with the trivial need for hair products. He puts on his boots and tucks his datapad under his arm before leaving his room and making his way towards her office.   
Luckily the layout of this building is simple and he recognizes the hallways and knows the Generals office isn’t much further.

He rounds the corner and hesitates when he sees someone standing in front of her office door. He hasn’t noticed Hux yet, his shoulders are hunched over and he's clenching and unclenching his fists. He looks about Hux's age, with dark brown hair that barely covers the tip of his ears. He’s wearing a loose dark brown tunic, tan pants and tall black boots, nothing like the uniforms the couple of other people he has seen around the building wearing. Hux resumes his pace and as he gets closer the teen turns to face him, his eyebrows furrowed and jaw clenched. The teens face soon relaxes and he gives Hux a studying look, probably taking in the pathetic state of his looks right now.

Hux straightens himself before he clears his throat, “Do you need to speak to the General? I can wait until later.”

The teen looks back at the door and then to the floor before giving him a simple “no” and turning to walk away. Hux watches the teen sulk down the hallway before turning the corner and out of site. He thinks it’s odd, the teen obviously needed to speak to the General, why didn’t he just say so. He knocks on the door and enters after he hears her say come in. 

She smiles at him as he comes in, “Ah Hux thank you for coming, please have a seat.”

He takes the seat across from her, “were you expecting anyone before I came?”

“No, why do you ask?”

“I guess it’s not important then, I have to thank you, the room you provided me with really was too much.”

“We want you to be comfortable, your room is no different from the other officers and soldiers in this building,” she gives him a warm smile and he feels like it will be hard to get used to her kindness. 

They discuss a few things and plan more meetings before he returns to his room. The General showed him how to order food or anything else he needed to be delivered to his room through his datapad. She told him he was free to come and go as he pleased but he doesn’t feel comfortable doing that yet.

\---

  
He visits the General the next day and she introduces him to Poe, a pilot only a year older than himself.

“Hux I would like to introduce you to Poe Dameron, he's one on of the best pilots I know.

Poe raises an eyebrow at her, “one of the best, I’m not _the_ best General?” he says with a charming smile.

“Would you and Luke like to take some X-Wings out and race again to see?” she gives him an amused smile back.

“Nah that's okay,” he turns to Hux to shake his hand, “it’s nice to meet you Hux, takes a lot of guts to do what you did. I know a little what it’s like to leave behind the life you knew and start over.”

“It’s nice to meet you too Poe.”

Poe's face lights up, “Hey tell me did you ever get a chance to fly a TIE Fighter, I’ve always wondered how fast they actually go.”

Hux let’s out a small laugh at Poe's excitement, “sorry I’ve flown a few different kinds of ships but never got to the TIE Fighters.”

“That’s too bad,” Poe deflates a little, “but hey don’t get me wrong our X-wings are more than capable of holding their own but those TIE Fighters look like they could really go.”

\---

  
The next day Hux is on his way to the Generals office again, they plan to discuss some of the trade routes that he knows the First Order uses. As he approaches the door he can hear yelling coming from her office. As he gets closer he can start to make out what is being said. 

The voice sounds like a young man, “I don’t know why you even pretend to care anymore,” the man is shouting.

“Ben you know how I feel, you just refuse to see it, you know how much I care about you. That’s exactly why I think you should go.”

“It didn’t work out the first time what makes you think it’ll be any different this time. If you don’t want me around just say so, I wouldn’t want to be a burden to your precious Resistance.”

“Ben please.”

“And you can stop using Luke to try and guilt trip me!”

“Ben wait!”  
Hux hears heavy footsteps coming towards the door but it's too late to move away. The door swings open and he's greeted by the scowling face of the teen he had seen the other day. Hux could see tears in the teens eyes when he turns to glare at him before storming off down the hallway. 

The General soon followed running out the door, “Ben!”  
Ben's steps don’t falter as he makes his way down the hallway before disappearing around the corner. The General sighs before turning around and realizing Hux is there, “Hux, I’m sorry about that.”

“No I’m sorry,” he hadn’t meant to hear what was obviously a private conversation.

“If you wouldn’t mind I think it would be better if we skipped today.”

“Of course General,” he gave a small nod before leaving. He could tell she needed her space and was honestly glad to get away from the situation. He stopped to make his daily trip to get his bandages changed before heading back to his room. He wondered what the relationship was between the two of them but knew it wasn’t his place to ask or interfere. He would just make sure that the next time he saw Ben he would steer clear of the troubled teen.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay a longer chapter this time! 
> 
> Thank you for reading and all the kudos and comments you guys have left. They are always appreciated :)
> 
> Come talk to me on Tumblr!
> 
> Ragingsolo.Tumblr.com


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Ben's point of view, I thought I would show what he's been up to while everything else had been going on. It'll be a little angsty but I hope I got little Ben's character right :) We also get some actual interaction between the boys.
> 
> Enjoy!

Ben had sensed Luke approaching the planet, it was almost instinctual with his family. He sat up from where he had been laying on the bed staring at the ceiling for the last couple of hours because sleep had refused to come to him. He stretched and then swiveled his legs around to land on the floor. He hadn’t heard any news of Luke coming and was surprised to think he'd leave his students. He hadn’t seen him in about a year now, ever since he came back 'home', he couldn’t stay at the temple any longer. He didn’t fit in with the other students and he always felt a sense of dread. So whatever the reason for Luke coming here it had to be important, he hadn’t seen his mother in awhile either so it could be anything. 

He left his room to go through the house, all the lights were off because he never bothered turning them on. Even though it was the middle of the day not much light was let in through the closed curtains on the windows. If a stranger came in they'd assume no one lived here and for the most part they would be right. 

He made it to the refresher and left the lights off there too, he didn’t need to be shown what he looked like. His skin was always pale and dark patches under his eyes from hardly being able to sleep, his dreams were hardly ever pleasant. Most of the time it was quiet like this, other times unprovoked thoughts would race across his mind. The thoughts were sometimes reassuring and nice and other times they were disappointed and negative. For the most part he had gotten better at blocking them out, but as soon as he let his guard down the voice was back. 

He made himself something to eat and didn’t have it him to even finish half of it before throwing it away. He decided to leave the house and go to where he usually spent most of his time, a private workout room his mother had designated as his where he could meditate and not be bothered. He also wanted to figure out why Luke was here but didn’t feel up to talking to him. 

He started making his way to the base and could start to sense his father's presence approaching as well. He hadn’t been back in months, and if he was on his way here too then something was definitely going on. He concealed his presence once he got closer to the base, he didn’t want the others knowing he was there. 

He still took the back ways through the Base and could soon see the Falcon breaking through the atmosphere. He stood with his back against one of the buildings, in a small space between two structures, and watched as the ship landed. He could see his mother walking down the path to meet it and could sense Luke was in the building she had just come out of. His father came down the ramp and soon someone he had never seen before came walking down the ramp after him. The teen looked about the same age as himself and stopped at the end of the ramp for a moment before continuing towards his parents who had already begun arguing. He could feel anxiety rolling off the teen even though his outward appearance showed nothing but composure. 

His mother exchanged a few words with the teen before having him searched, so he definitely wasn’t from around here. He was too far away to pick up anything they were saying, and watched as they dispersed and the visitor disappeared into the building along with his mother. Why hadn’t anyone bothered to tell him what was going on, didn’t he have a right to know. 

'because they don’t trust you' 

Ben closed his eyes and shook his head to dispel the voice. He turned around and headed to his claimed training room. In this building his room was at the end of the hall and it seemed like no one even used the last half of the rooms down this hallway. His room was quite large and large mirrors took up one of the walls. It had weights and a punching bag along with a few benches. He kept clothes and a datapad here, it really was like a second home. He removed his boots once he entered and closed the door behind him. 

He sat on the mat and tried his best to clear his head and meditate but found he couldn’t concentrate and in the end he decided go over forms until he was exhausted. He collapsed to the floor and laid there for a moment. He knew his father would be waiting at home and decided to just sleep in the training room like he had done plenty of times now. He hadn’t seen his father very much over the last couple of years but he wasn’t prepared to face him yet. He used the force to lock the door and turn off the lights and simply curled up where he was on the mat and laid awake as long as he could before sleep eventually took over and he had to face his dreams. 

 

 

When he woke up next he reached for his datapad and looked to see it was early morning and slowly unfurled himself and sat up on the mat. He had decided right before he fell asleep that he would go talk to his mother today. He small part him wanted to know what was going on, he didn’t like feeling like he was going to be blindsided by something. 

The best part about this training room was that it had a personal refresher, and he made his way into it. He put the shower on mostly hot and let the water run over him for awhile. He got out and toweled himself dry, catching his reflection in the mirror. He hated his reflection, he was gangly and no matter how much he trained he never gained much muscle. He also hated his proportions, his ears, lips, nose, and limbs were all to big on his body, that was still a few inches shorter than Luke. He turned from the mirror tired of looking at it and slipped on his clothes. 

He made his way to his mothers' office concealing his presence again along the way, even though he could sense Luke was else where. He stopped in front of her door and just stared at it, he wasn’t sure what to do. He hadn’t talked to her in weeks, what was he supposed to say, that he had spied on them yesterday. That even though he was still young he should know what was going on? He started clenching and unclenching his fists unsure of what to do now that he was here. 

He didn’t notice someone coming down the hallway at first and but then turns to see it’s the teen his father had brought here yesterday. He studies him and sees his face is covered in bruises he hadn’t seen yesterday, and though he’s a little taller then Ben he still seems so small. 

The teen walks up and is standing right next to him, straightening himself up before he clears his throat, “Do you need to speak to the General? I can wait until later.” 

The teen is no longer nervous like he was yesterday and exudes so much confidence now that Ben finds it a little intimidating. Ben doesn’t hear the accent he has very often and realizes the other teen isn’t from anywhere around here. So where is he from, why is he here and why does he get special audience with his mother. He looks from the teen and back to the door, before looking down to the ground, he's lost his nerve. He just mumbles a 'no' before he decides to turn and leave. 

He should have just told the teen off and gone in to talk to his mother, but he hadn’t even known what to talk to her about anyways. He stops by the mess hall to grab some food on his way out before heading back to the training room. He can admit it’s become his hiding place, but no one bothers him there, and he’s completely content being by himself without anyone there to silently judge him. He spends another day and night there going over forms and trying to ignore the outside world. 

 

 

\--- 

The next day he's not doing forms long before he can feel Luke coming down the hallway. He uses the force to unlock and slide the door open knowing there’s no escaping talking to Luke now and soon feels him hesitate around door. 

“You can come in Luke, I know you’re there,” he resists the urge to roll his eyes. 

He hears a small laugh before Luke comes in, “I kind of figured you would find that out pretty easily and you’re getting better at concealing yourself too,” he said and smiles at him. 

Ben sits on one of the benches and looks away from Luke, he couldn't handle Luke's positive emotions right now, “obviously not good enough you still found me.” 

Luke took a few more steps towards him with his hands behind his back, “that’s true but it still took me a lot longer than it used to,” Luke looked around the small training room, “so this is where you come to train, are you still going over forms and meditating?” 

Ben sighed deeply and started putting his boots back on, “why are you here Luke?” 

“Do I have to have a reason to come talk to my nephew.” 

“You usually do, if it’s about coming back to train with you I can’t,” he finished putting on his boots and stood up. 

Luke's face shifted to concern, “you always say can’t instead of won’t. Why won’t you tell me why you can’t, what’s the reason?” 

Ben would never tell him why he couldn’t, what he starting feeling was expected of him once he was there at the temple. The visions he got at night of him killing all the other students always felt so real. The worst part is how he felt while doing it in the visions, he felt so powerful and for once so free, like he could finally breathe. He didn’t feel a single hint of regret as he stood around the bodies that littered the ground and turned the dirt all around him red. 

'the vision is your destiny, you will fulfill it' 

Ben squeezed his eyes shut in an attempt to shut out the voice. It always came the most when he was around Luke, it was fueled by his doubts. He always felt he looked weak in Luke’s eyes. He was nothing like the rest of his family, strong and confident, all he had were a few tricks. 

Luke must have noticed something was off, “Ben what’s wrong? You don’t look like you’ve been sleeping well, I’ve talked to your mom and she’s worried too.” 

“It's nothing,” his hands were starting to shake. 

“You may be able to block me out but I can still sense when you’re lying to me. You know you don’t need to lie to me Ben,” Luke's voice was so soft. 

‘he is afraid of you, can’t you feel it, he is scared of you' 

He just needed everything to be quiet, he clenched his fists to try and stop his hands from shaking. If Luke found out about the voices he was hearing they would all think he was insane, “I said it’s nothing.” 

“Ben I’m here for you, why won’t you let me help you? Come back and train with me I can help you focus your powers, your mom agrees that it would be good for you.” 

'Go with him and do what you’re meant to do' 

“Just please stop Luke,” he keeps trying to force the voice to go away. He feels like an invisible weight is starting to crush him, it’s getting harder to breathe. 

“Ben, I know these powers can be hard to understand, that’s why I think it’s best you come back with me to the temple, your mom agrees. You need a teacher who can show you the ways of the force.” 

‘ They just want to control you, control your powers that are meant for so much more' 

“Just leave me alone!” the sound of one of the mirrors shattering and falling to the floor startles both of them. He can feel a hint of fear coming from Luke now, he can’t hide it. 

“Ben?” 

“I’m sorry,” he really hadn't meant to, Ben hurries out of the room before Luke can stop him and then starts running to get away from everything. He can't go back to the house, he knew his father would be there. He keeps running and ends up at his mother’s office. 

This time though he doesn’t hesitate at her door and swings the door open and quickly slams it shut behind him. 

His mother immediately stands up, “Ben what’s wrong?” 

“You should know, stop trying to convince Luke that training with him is best for me, I can decide for myself,” he’s slightly out of breath still and tries to even it out. 

“I just think it would be good for you, to be around other students training with them. You spend too much time alone.” 

“and whose fault it that!?” his hands are shaking again and he tries to steady himself, “you don’t include me in anything that happens around here, don't I have a right to know? You don’t care about me, I don’t know why you even pretend to care anymore.” 

He knows he’s hit a nerve when his mother's eyes start to tear up, “Ben you know how I feel, you just refuse to see it, you know how much I care about you. That's exactly why I think you should go.” She steps from behind her desk to stand in front of him. 

Ben lowers his voice and looks down, “It didn’t work out the first time what makes you think it’ll be any different this time. If you don’t want me around just say so, I wouldn’t want to be a burden to your precious Resistance.” 

She starts to reach to put a hand on his shoulder, “Ben please.” 

She doesn’t understand, he can’t go back, he’ll really become the monster they all already think he is. He snaps his head back up unused tears in his own eyes and turns to leave before he can see the pity in his mother's eyes, and yells over his shoulder “and you can stop using Luke to try and guilt trip me!” 

“Ben wait!” 

It's too late he has his hand on the door handle and swings the door open again. He comes face to face with his mother’s new guest again, he could sense he was there listening to their conversation. He gives the teen a glare before walking away down the hall before his mother can catch up to him. 

He hears her shout, “Ben” but he doesn’t turn around and doesn’t care what else she has to say he just needs to leave. They don’t understand anything, what it’s like to be pulled in two different directions, how much it hurts, and he knows there’s no way to explain it to them. 

He knows his father is still at the house and Luke will just find him again and he needs to be alone for awhile. He makes his way to the hangar and sees Poe's X-Wing, and figures what’s one more person angry at him. He opens the cockpit and climbs in, turning the ship on and preparing to leave. He sees Poe come out of the office that’s in the hangar, alerted by the sound of the ship starting up. He starts trying to wave him down but Ben ignores him and leaves the hangar, and is soon leaving the atmosphere. 

Poe's voice starts coming in through the comm, “What the hell are you doing Ben!?” 

“I’m borrowing your ship for a couple of days.” 

“A couple of days!? You don’t have the authorization to take my X-Wing, you can’t just do whatever you want.” 

“I'll bring it back in one piece Poe, see you later.” 

Ben cuts the comm before Poe could say anything else. He puts in coordinates for Naboo, it’s the closest planet and has always been so green and inviting. Poe had taken him there a couple of times when first teaching him to fly a X-Wing as a kid. He remembered being so proud of himself when he mastered flying the X-Wing in a matter of hours, even Poe had been impressed. The first time they landed on the planet he immediately found the planets forests calmed him down. He learned when he was older that his grandmother had been born and laid to rest there, maybe that was the reason. A couple of days in the forest would calm him down, even he knew his emotions were getting the best of him. He needs to meditate away from people and refocus his mind to keep the voice away. 

\--- 

Leia collected herself after sending Hux away and took a deep breath at her desk. Did Ben really believe she didn’t care about him. She had never meant to make him feel that way, she had just got caught up in what the Resistance needed of her. She really couldn’t understand why Ben kept refusing to train with Luke again. 

She heard a notification ring on her holocom and saw it was Poe calling. 

She collects herself again before opening it, “Yes Poe what is it?” 

Poe was looking angry himself, “Ben just came and grabbed my X-Wing and flew off with it.” 

She kept herself composed, “do you know where he went?” 

Poe sighed, “based on his direction I’d say he was headed to Naboo, should I go after him and bring him back?” 

“No, lets just leave him be, I’m sorry Poe,” she tried to give an apologetic smile. 

“Its fine General,” Poe sighed again, “but why'd he have to take my personal one?” Poe started to pout, “he couldn’t have just taken Nunb's X-Wing?” 

'Hey!' Leia could hear someone yell in the background Poe turned to someone behind him, “sorry Nunb,” he turned back to her, “I’ll let you know when he returns General.” 

“Thank you Poe, again I’m sorry,” she said before ending the call. 

She put her head in her hands, she knew Ben would be back, he sometimes disappeared for days but would always come back. She heard knocking on her door and knew it was Luke. 

“Come in Luke.” 

Luke opened the door and walked in to take a seat in the chair across from her. 

She sighed, “Bens left in Poe's X-Wing, Poe's not happy.” 

Luke let out a small exasperated laugh, “I’d imagine he’s not,” his voice shifted to sadness, “I’m sorry Leia, I just questioned him too much about why he feels he can’t train with me. I can feel he's hiding something, and I know it's not something good. I’m just not sure what to do, there are still things I don’t understand, Obi Wan and Yoda weren't able to teach me everything before they left.” 

“I know Luke, its not any more your fault than it is mine. I feel he’s hiding something too and I know there’s so much light in him but I can feel darkness from him sometimes now, and it terrifies me Luke,” she can’t stop the tears that start to form in her eyes, “I refuse to lose him, I won’t let him go down the same path as our father.” 

“I won’t let that happen Leia,” his words are strong and determined and begins to calm her down some, “I’m going to go back to the temple and arrange things there so I can come back and stay for awhile this time. I don’t want him to think that I’ve given up on him. I’ll bring Rey with me too, she always seemed to be able to cheer him up.” 

Leia smiles, “how is she doing?” 

“Well she thinks she’s old enough to start learning forms, but I keep having to remind her that 5 is still too young. I have to admit I was hesitant at first about letting her stay at the temple but she will be quite skilled in the force with some training,” Luke stands to leave, “I should only be gone for a couple of weeks.” 

“Thank you again Luke.” 

“Leia were family, it’s nothing you have to thank me for.” 

“I know,” she hugs him before letting him go, “may the force be with you Luke.” 

\--- 

When Ben retuned to D'Qar it was still early morning so he could sneak the ship back in and not have to listen to Poe's reprimanding. Ben made his way back to the house in the dark, feeling both his parents presence in the house. He quietly snuck in and realized they were both in their room, so he quickly made his way to his own room. He gently closed his bedroom door shut even though he knew his mom would be able to sense he was back. He grabbed a few things and headed out the back door, he knew his dad would get onto him about takings Poe's ship, as if he didn’t do worse things as a teenager. He could have the scolding later, he didn't want it this early in the morning. 

He stayed in his training room for a few hours, he showered and got himself dressed. Once it was morning and people were out and going about their live Ben left his room. He was starving and started making his way to the cafeteria. He hadn't brought food with him to Naboo and hadn't eaten anything during his stay. 

He stops before going around a corner, hearing someone talking in a strange accent he already recognizes. He peeks around the corner to see Derrik harassing the new guest of the Resistance. He's curious to see what the teen will do. He watches as Hux says a few things and then tries to simply walk around him but he' stopped by a punch to the diaphragm. The teens eyes burn red with rage and gives Ben a slight chill. He sees Derrik about to send a another punch the teens way and decides to put an end to this. He throws his arm out to grab hold of the force and freeze Derrik in his place. 

\--- 

This was why he had stayed confined to his room up until this point, but he had needed to go out and do something. His whole life had been scheduled by the hour and sitting in his room for a week now with nothing to do was driving him crazy. He walked around the base a little and had later bumped into Poe outside the hangar and talked with him for a little while before heading back to his room. He took a different way going back, which thinking now wasn’t a good idea. 

Apparently word had gotten around that there was a defector from the First Order on base. All the other officers and soldiers he had come in contact with were cordial, obviously aware of the Generals thorough investigation on his motives, this one obviously was not. 

“You don’t belong in this area,” the taller man had blocked him in a walkway between buildings. 

“and why is that?” he tried to keep his tone light. 

“Because you don’t belong here at all,” he postured himself to try and look bigger than he already was. People like him were so easy to read, thinking they deserved everyone’s respect 

“I was merely looking around," he said as calmly as he could. 

“Why, so you can scout the place out, look for weaknesses? I don’t believe you came here because of some change of heart. I fought in the war, I know you Empire scum can’t be trusted.” 

Hux was really starting to get agitated now, he didn’t need to prove himself, “I don’t have to explain myself to you, I’ve already proven I’m not an informant, you can confirm that with General Org-“ he started saying as he walked around the man, only to be stopped mid sentence with a punch to the diaphragm. He doubled over for a moment, and held back a groan as he held on to his chest and glared up at the other man.  

“I didn’t say I was done talking,” the man spit at him. 

He had expected some suspicion from some the people here, but not such a blatant confrontation. If he fought back he would only bring trouble, and lose the trust the General had given him. If he had really wanted to he could snap the man's neck before the man could even register it was happening. 

He straightened himself up to get as eye level with the man as possible, “if you like listening to the sound of your voice so much why don’t you just record and listen to it yourself and stop wasting my time.” 

He saw the man clench his jaw and start to bring his arm up for another punch that was going to land on his face. He shut his eyes and brought his arm up to block but the punch but it never came. He was slightly startled when he opened his eyes again to see the man frozen, his fist in midair.  

Hux heard a voice come from behind the man, “Now Derrik, is that any way to behave.” 

Hux looked behind the man to see the teenager he had seen lurking around the General's office come walking up from behind the man. In a couple of strides he was next to Hux and turned to face the imbecile now known as Derrik. 

“I didn’t know the General condoned this kind of behavior. Do you think she would be pleased to find out about it?” 

Derrik gave no response he couldnt even if he had wanted to, “oh I’m sorry,” the teen said in a mocking tone and flicked his fingers, “you can move your head now. Again should I tell the General about this?” 

Hux watched as the teens face turned harsh as he ground out the last sentence. Hux was honestly impressed at how intimidating the teen looked now, even though he was a few inches shorter than Derrik and had to look up at him. 

Derrik stared the teen down before grinding out a 'no'. 

“Okay, then it’s in your best interest that something like this doesn’t happen again.” 

Ben released whatever hold he had on Derrik and Hux watched as he stumbled forward from the continued momentum of his punch. Derrik immediately stood up and straightened his clothes before leaving. 

Hux stayed still for a moment as he watched Derrik turn and walk away. He slowly turned to the teen trying to comprehend what he had just seen. 

“How did you do that?” 

“It's just something I can do,” the teen's confident demeanor immediately deflated. 

“Are you a Jedi?” Hux asked incredulously. 

“No I’m not,” the teen took on an almost disgusted look on his face before looking at him, “My names Ben.” 

“I’ve seen you around, my name's Hux,” he put out his hand. 

Ben hesitantly took his hand and shook, “yes I’ve seen you too, it’s not polite to listen in on peoples conversations.” 

“I apologize I hadn’t meant too,” he really hadn’t, “thank you for your help just now but I honestly could have handled it myself.” 

“I know you could have, that’s why I stopped it before it got to that point. You wouldn’t want to get on the General's bad side,” Ben smirked and then turned serious, “and I also can’t stand people who think they can throw their weight and superiority around to get what they want.” 

“I can certainly relate to that sentiment,” Hux had to smile at himself. 

“But you know it’s your clothes right? You stand out, they can tell you don’t belong here, you shou-" he cut himself off and Hux noticed Ben flinch and barely makes out him whispering 'Solo'. The next thing he knows he sees Han come from around the corner and spot them before rushing over. 

“Hey, didn’t think I’d find you two hanging out,” Han puts a hand on Ben's shoulder and gives a big smile. If he thought the look Ben had given him about being a Jedi earlier was disgusted he was wrong, “and where have you been hiding Ben, I looked everywhere for you and then your mother tells me you stole Poe's X-Wing for a joy ride.” 

Ben shifts out of Han's grip and crosses his arms, “it wasn’t a joy ride and I borrowed it, do we have to talk about this right now Dad?” 

“Am I embarrassing you in front of your new friend?” 

Hux had to interrupt, “wait, excuse me, did I hear correctly, you’re the General’s son?” Hux wasn’t sure why he was still surprised by anything anymore around here. 

“Unfortunately,” Ben rolls his eyes. 

“Ben,” Han gives him a disapproving look. 

“Well I should be going, I’ll see y’all around, maybe,” Ben just turns around to leave. 

“Does he always do that?” Hux points to Ben’s figure disappearing around the corner. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean running away, I’ve seen him three times and it always ended with him stalking off.” 

“He can be difficult sometimes,” Han huffed out a laugh, “but I’ll be honest I’m not always the best when it comes to this parenting thing and all the Jedi mumbo jumbo stuff. He's really a good kid, and could really use a good friend too,” Han gave a convincing smile. 

Hux wasn't sure if he wanted to be apart of this Jedi stuff either, “yeah maybe.” 

Han clapped him on the shoulder, “alright let me walk you back, I plan on staying for a little longer so if you need anything just let me know.” 

“Well now that you mention it I really could use some new clothes, I kind of stick out in these,” he said and looked down to his uniform, he had to admit Ben was right. 

“I can help you with that,” Han said and gave a big smile. Hux was already starting to regret asking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading! :)
> 
> As always you can come yell at me on my tumblr: http://ragingsolo.tumblr.com/


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in chapter release, I kinda got caught up in all the KBB activities :)
> 
> But I'm off for the summer from work and finally have a new laptop so no more trying to type everything out on my tablet and phone!
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter

Hux looked down at the clothes Han had given him the other day, they were now laid out on his bed. He had wishfully thought that Han would help him find some clothes similar to the clothes the soldiers walked around in. As Han led him to his home however, he knew that wouldn't be case. He watched as Han pulled more and more clothes from closets and drawers, he had to be thankful to Han though. It's not like he had money to buy new clothes and he really was starting to feel more and more out of place in his uniform. He had to admit Ben was right about sticking out in his grey tailored uniform.

Now looking at the clothes on his bed he really questioned Han's sense of style. As he looked closer he could tell some clothes were a little smaller than the others, which meant he had given him some of Ben's old clothes. He wouldn't wear those unless he had to, the last thing he needed was seeing Ben again and him noticing, because that wouldn't be awkward. There was a knock on the door and he knew it was the gold service droid bringing him his lunch, he still got his meals delivered because after the altercation with Derrik he really wasn't ready to deal with that many people. He was thankful to Leia and the others, they must have sensed his hesitation for eating in the mess hall and indulged him in this. 

"Good afternoon Mr. Hux, here is your lunch as requested."

Hux took the tray, "thank you".

"Anything else?"

"Actually is there somewhere on base for training and working out, I really don't like being idle."

"Of course, you'll find it on the far end on the South side of the base, located behind the hangars."

"Thank you, that will be all."

So it wasn't far from where he had run into Derrik, though he wasn't afraid of the man he would find a different route to make sure he didn't run into him again. He ate his lunch and picked out a pair of loose brown pants and a faded white t-shirt with sleeves that came to his elbows to wear. The pants were only a little long but definitely to big around the waist, luckily he still had his belt and cinched the waistline tight, keeping the larger shirt not tucked in to help hide the fact. 

He made it to the gym without interference and made his way inside. There were nine rooms, four on each side and one last one a little further down by itself. As he made his way in there weren't too many people but he decided to take the one that was more out of the way. He opened the door and turned the lights on, it was equipped with a punching bag and a set of weights, it was a little sparse but he didn't need much. He just needed to let off some steam and distract himself for a little while. He shut the door behind him and took off his boots setting them next to one of the benches. He saw tape for wrapping hands and feet and decided he would start with the punching bag. He wrapped his hands and stretched before standing in front of the bag. He pushed the bag to see the weight of it and noticed it was pretty solid, he would have to be careful with his punches to keep from injuring himself. He punched the bag a few times and got into the rhythm, he almost missed sparring. While sparring at the academy had been nothing but brutal there was an adrenaline rush that came with it that he longed for. He had always loved facing an opponent and studying them, forming a plan of attack. He always excelled at reading people and fighting was the best way to use his skill. Because of his slim body he was always underestimated, but he always found people's weak spots.

He had been punching and kicking the bag for about 30 minutes when he heard the handle to the door turn. He stood still and hoped for a moment that he hadn't just put himself in a corner, but then he saw Ben walk in, who immediately glared at him.

"What are you doing here?"

Hux wiped some sweat and hair from his forehead, "I'm working out, what does it look like I'm doing?"

"I meant in here, this room is mine," he pointed to the floor and shut the door.

"I didn't see your name on the door and it was unlocked."

The two stared at each other for a moment and Hux spoke first,"well since you're here now would you like to spar?"

Ben must not have expected the question because Hux could see confusion on his face,"you would spare with me knowing what kind of powers I have?"

"I trust you not to cheat Ben", he said and gave him a pointed look.

"Fine", Ben sat on the bench and started unlacing his boots.

"You do know how to fight right?" Hux could tell that Ben was capable of holding his own, but he couldn't help himself from provoking the teen.

"Of course I do," and Ben shot another glare at him, so it seemed pretty easy to rile him up.

"Good, i'll give you time to stretch."

Hux watched out of the corner of his eye as Ben took took off his boots and started stretching. He honestly hadn't thought the teen would agree, but he seemed eager to prove himself. They approached each other on the mat,"I have to thank you again for the other day."

"Like I said I don't like people who take advantage of other people and Derrik's an asshole."

Hux had to let out a small laugh, "well from the brief interaction I had with him you're not wrong, okay take your stance, and nothing above the shoulder."

Hux took a traditional fighting stance, arms up in front of him and on the balls of his feet ready to move. Ben took on a more guarded stance, he drew his left arm to his chest and kept is right arm up, palm flat. He angled himself to have his right foot forward and left foot back. Hux wasn't sure what form he was using considering he had never seen it before, but he could tell it was good. It left little area for him to target and he watched Ben for a moment before making his move. 

Hux was right in his assumptions, Ben's stance was mostly defense. So far he had been able to block every move Hux had thrown at him. Ben had only made a couple of attempts to try and land a couple of jabs, but it had been at the exact moment Hux had let some guard down. So that meant Ben was steadily watching his every move, for someone who seemed to have his emotions all over the place he had quite the patience. Ben was simply going through the motions waiting for an opening. Hux wanted to test his theory, he let his left arm drop while moving in for a punch. Ben immediately blocked with his left and and went to jab with his right. Hux was still faster and brought his right hand up to block and punched with his left. He was able to land a blow on Ben's side, he smirked to himself but quickly found his point view shift to looking at the ceiling as Ben low kicked and swept his legs out from underneath him. He tensed for the impact but it didn't come, he craned his neck to see Ben had his arm stretched out and slowly lowered him to the ground.

Hux laid there for a moment and sighed, "thank you for that".

Ben approached him and held out his hand to help him up, "you're not too bad a fighter".

Hux looked up at Ben and grabbed his hand, "oh is that-" he cut himself off as he bent his chest to get up and stand, he didn't realize how sore his chest still was from the other day.

Ben dropped his arm, "You're still hurt, why didn't you go to medbay, it would have been an easy fix."

"We both know why I couldn't do that, I don't need to be causing trouble for the General. The doctor would have asked questions and it eventually would have gotten back to your mother. " The last thing he needed to do was give anyone an excuse to get rid of him, he had come this far and he wasn't going anywhere.

"You should have just gone."

"It's fine," Hux ran his hands over his clothes to straighten the wrinkles out. 

"Let me see it," Ben gestured at his chest.

"Why? I said it's fine," he crossed his arms across his chest.

"Stop being difficult," and Ben walked closer to him.

Was Ben really going to lecture him about _him_  being the difficult one. Hux sighed before lifting his shirt and showing the bruise. It was still dark purple right underneath his sternum, it really only hurt when he strained the muscles there. 

Hux waved his free hand at it, "see it's fine, just a bruise, I would be nice if people would just leave my ribs alone," he sneered and looked away. He then felt a warm hand on his chest and quickly looked back to Ben.

"What are you doing?" he looked down at Ben's hand that was lightly covering the bruise.

"Do you trust me to do something?" Ben looked up from his hand and then to Hux.

"No, not really."

Ben rolled his eyes, "well trust me anyways, just relax."

Hux looked away from Ben's eyes and gave in, "alright".

Hux took a deep breath, he had no idea what Ben was planning on doing. Ben's warm hand suddenly turned cold and shot a chill through his chest and down to his spine, he couldn't suppress a shiver. He looked back at Ben who had his eyes closed and clearly focused. Hux took a moment to really look at him. At this close proximity he could now tell that Ben was about two inches shorter than him. His hair and bangs were almost to his eyes and his paleness only accentuated the dark freckles that were scattered across his face. He wasn't sure who he looked more like his father or mother, maybe a more distant relative. The coldness began to recede and Ben's hand became warm again, he opened his eyes to look at Hux. Ben's eyes were dark brown, but they still had an amber quality to them, they were actually quite...beautiful. Ben blinked up at him a couple of times before his cheeks began to pink and he took his hand away. Hux was really hoping right now that he wasn't able to read minds. 

He quickly spoke, "what did you do?" and looked down to his chest to see the bruise was gone. He tentatively touched the area and all the pain was gone,"how did you do that?"

"I used the force to heal it."

"You can do that?", he couldn't hide his excitement and prodded a little harder at the area.

"For small things like cuts and bruises."

Hux lowered his shirt and looked at Ben again who wouldn't make eye contact with him now, "that's amazing Ben."

Ben's cheeks darkened slightly, "it's really nothing, a couple of bacta bandages could do the same thing."

"You're kidding right? This is pretty impressive, how many other people can do this?"

Ben looked back up at him through his bangs, "there are a few."

"Only a few and you still don't think that's an impressive power to have."

"I guess," Ben was now fidgeting with his sleeve, had the boy never been complimented before.

"You're sure you're not a Jedi, like your uncle?"

"Yes I'm sure, and no i'm not," and he made an irritated face.

"Then what are you?", he was genuinely curious.

Ben crossed his arms defensively, "I'm not anything, I can just use the force. Jedi are force users that use the light side of the force and train under a master for years to perfect their skills."

"Why aren't you training to become a Jedi? Are you against becoming one?"

"The only Jedi master at the moment is my Uncle Luke."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"It is for me and I'd rather not talk about it right now."

"Alright," Hux had his fair share of things he didn't like talking about and he knew when he was hitting a sore subject. 

He thought about it for a moment, what better way to thank Han for all he done for him then giving in and becoming friends with his son. He supposed his company wasn't all that bad to have, "well would you like to continue training with me, it'd be nice to have some company besides the gold droid," he said as he started unwrapping his hands and glanced to gauge Ben's response.

He could see Ben thinking it over, "yes, we can, you're a pretty decent fighter I guess," Ben had the audacity to smirk.

Hux turned to him, "you guess? well I suppose next time I will not go so easy on you."

"Oh is that what you were doing," now the brat was full on smiling, but Hux couldn't help but think he liked the way he looked with a smile on his face.

"I will remember this for the next time, do you have a data pad, some way to get in touch?"

"I do," he watched as Ben walked across the room and opened a closet that was full of clothes and reached to a shelf for a data pad. 

"So this really is your room."

"I wasn't lying, I actually spend a lot of my time here," Ben handed the data pad to him.

Hux started putting in his comm line number, "can I ask you something?"

"Yes."

"Can you read people's minds, their thoughts I mean, I've heard some force users can," he glanced at Ben.

"You'll be relieved to hear that I can't."

Hux was relieved quite a bit actually.

"But I can pick up on peoples emotions and feelings, like the fact that you are in fact relieved to hear that I can't."

"That's a nice trick," Hux handed the pad back to Ben.

"It's not a trick and I honestly wish I wasn't able to."

Hux could understand that, but it still seemed useful,"same time tomorrow then?"

"Sure."

 

-

When Hux got back to his room he felt pleasantly exhausted. He had to admit he enjoyed the banter him and Ben did back and forth. He had really thought Ben would have ignored his questions and not answered them, even if they were short answers. The other teen's emotions were all over the place though, shifting from calm to irritated quickly. Hux could see why Ben didn't have many friends, of course he never really had many friends himself, there wasn't time for things like that at the academy. He wondered though, why Ben wouldn't train with his uncle, he could tell things were strained between him and his family. But what was the reason, they all seemed to be really good people with good intentions. 

He was laying on his bed when he heard his data pad go off alerting him to a message.

' _It's Ben'_

Hux typed back to him,  _'thank you for today Ben, it was nice to have a distraction'_

_'welcome'_

So he was a man of fewer words through messaging.

 

-

Ben sat in the training room after Hux left. At first he felt like Hux was some kind of trap, someone waiting for him to let his guard down and then judge him. He never really trusted peoples intentions. He had felt Hux's feelings were genuine though, his desire to let out some energy, his excitement about Ben's ability to heal and the emotion he was feeling when Ben looked into his eyes after healing him. He felt flustered all over again, no one had felt that emotion towards him before, a fondness. He didn't understand why Hux would feel that way towards him at all.

He typed out a message to Hux so he would have his number as well and got a message back.

_'thank you for today Ben, it was nice to have a distraction'_

Ben didn't care if in the end he was only used as a distraction, it was nice to spend time with someone who didn't judge him constantly. He didn't get angry when Ben would snap back at him and was actually genuinely curious about the force, wanting to learn more about it. He didn't know the rumors yet that went around the base, he didn't think he was weird for his powers, Hux was actually impressed by them.

_'welcome'_

It felt like it had been while, but he felt actually felt content after spending time with him.

_-_

Hux and Ben hand been sparring and training every morning for about two weeks now. He began to get more and more excited for his morning routine, routine in of itself was a great thing to have back. He was also starting to enjoy Ben's company, he didn't feel like he ever had to watch what he said. Some days they exchanged few words and other days they would talk back and forth. Ben telling him bits and pieces about the Force and what it could do. Hux wasn't all that sure he believed all of it yet but it was interesting to learn about.

The General was busy most of the time now and so Hux was able to spend his time as he wanted. This morning he got up a little earlier and quickly ate before he headed out. He wanted to get to the training room early, he had been trying to learn the fighting style Ben had been using and see if he couldn't use it himself. He made his way to the training room and saw the door was slightly cracked and looked in to see Ben was already there but he was just standing there. His eyes were distant and he could see Ben's mouth moving but couldn't make out what he was saying. Ben hadn't noticed Hux was there yet, he felt he was being intrusive but he really didn't know what was going on. He saw Ben snap his eyes shut and bring his hands to his head before letting out a louder no.

Hux could no longer just stand there and came through the door, "Ben?"

Ben opened his eyes and turned to him with anger on his face that quickly shifted to terror before going calm.

"Hux," Ben cleared his throat a little and looked away, "you're early."

"Yes I apologize I didn't think you would be here yet," he stopped a few feet from Ben, "is everything okay?"

Ben wouldn't look at him, "yes everything's fine".

"Who were you talking to?"

Ben clenched his fists and they started trembling a little bit, "I wasn't talking to anyone, I said everything's fine".

Hux tried not to be worried because he knew Ben would sense it, "Okay then, do you still want to train this morning?"

"Not really."

"Okay, maybe another time then," Hux made to turn and leave.

"D-don't leave," Ben sounded desperate. He knew Ben wouldn't tell him what was really happening, but hoped one day he would be comfortable enough to tell him. 

He turned back to Ben and could see he immediately regretted saying it.

"Never mind you don't have to, sorry."

"No it's fine I don't have anything else planned, what do you have in mind then if you don't want to train?"

Ben takes a deep breath and looked relieved, "would you meditate with me?"

"I'm not sure how good I would be at that."

"I can show you", he looked hesitant.

"Alright, show me your ways master," Hux tried to lighten the mood.

It worked, "don't call me that", Ben said with an angry look that Hux knew had no real anger behind it.

Hux smiled at him, "alright what should i do first?"

"Take off your boots and come sit in front of me on the mat, lights at 20 percent."

Hux did as he said and sat crossed legged in front of Ben, "now what?"

"The point of meditation is to clear your head and completely relax yourself, start by closing your eyes and and evening out your breath."

Hux took in a deep inhale and slowly exhaled as he closed his eyes. He had never tried doing anything like this before, would it really do anything?

"If you hesitate about this not working it won't work, just relax"

Hux opened one eye and then closed it again, "i'll try my best."

"Now you need to completely relax your body and clear your head, the point it to completely let your self go."

Hux did as instructed and did feel immediately relaxed, he kept his breathing even and left his mind empty.

After what felt like could have been minutes or hours, he couldn't tell, he slightly opened his eyes. He saw Ben was deep in meditation, the Force must help with the process. He fully opened his eyes and tried to be as quiet as possible, he didn't want to snap Ben out of the trance he was in. He barely looked like he was breathing, his face was so peaceful looking. For whatever reason he felt drawn to stare at Ben's face again, and then Ben stirred and there were those eyes again. Even in the dimmed lighting Hux could make out the deep color of them.

He felt flustered now, like he had been caught doing something he shouldn't have, "sorry if I disrupted your meditation', he whispered out.

"It's alright we've been at it for about an hour now, you did pretty good for a first time," he saw Ben smile again and smiled himself.

He watched as Ben looked away towards nothing and focused, "my uncle is back".

Hux started standing up to let blood go back to his legs, "do you know why he's come back?"

Ben gave another small smile, "no, but he's not alone this time".

 

-

They left the gym and Ben walked with him down walkways and around buildings. Hux felt like someone was following them, he couldn't tell if Ben realized it too or if he was being oblivious as he continued to ramble on about the benefits of meditating. They passed by some crates that had been stacked on top of each other. Ben stopped mid sentence to quickly turn around and catch something flying through the air, or rather someone. Ben was now holding a small child in his hands, he was now grinning up at the pouting child. She couldn't have been older than five years old and had messy buns in her hair, wearing tan clothes similar to Lukes'. 

"Awww man I'll never be able to sneak up on you," the little girl pouted and crossed her arms. 

Ben shifted to hold her with one arm, cradling her on his hip, "I've told you Rey even if you hide your body I can still sense your presence," the girl looked like she was about to cry, "but you have gotten better, you'll be a master at it in no time."

She uncrossed her arms to hug Ben around his neck and gave a big smile,"really!?" Ben smiled big back up at her, Hux was really starting to get attached to that smile. He wasn't used to such an open display of affection though, and it was making him feel like he didn't belong here right now. Ben must have noticed his unease and turned to him.

"Rey, I want you to meet Hux."

Ben turned Rey towards him, he gave a weak wave, "hello Rey."

Ben went on, "Hux is my new friend so you need to be nice to him too okay?"

"Hi Hux," Rey said shyly trying to hide her face behind Ben's head. Ben let out a small laugh and pulled Rey to look her face to face again.

"Where's Uncle Luke?"

"Uncle Luke is with Aunt Leia, talking about his students training, he says i'm not old enough yet", and the pout was back.

"Uncle Luke doesn't know what he's talking about, how about I train you while you're here?"

She instantly lit up, "you really would?"

"Yes, but we have to keep it a secret from Luke, okay?", and held one finger to his lips, and Rey mimicked the action. Ben turned to him, he had just kinda been standing there taking in the scene, he didn't know what kind of reaction Ben was wanting from him.

"Isn't that right Hux?" and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, yes of course, a secret", and also raised to put a finger at his mouth.

Rey hugged Ben around the neck again, "Thank you Ben."

"No problem Rey, say are you hungry?", the child excitedly shook her head yes.

"Alright lets go get some food."

He put Rey on the ground and held her hand. Ben looked back up at him, "Hux you're hungry too right?"

"Uh yes I am but I usually take my food in my-"

Ben cut him off, "okay then it's settled lets all go get some food', and he started walking hand in hand with Rey, before turning back at Hux, "come on Hux the cafeteria is this way."

Hux let out a small sigh, he knew where it was, he had made a point of avoiding the place, "fine".

He quickened his pace to catch up to the two. Hux flinched when a small hand grabbed his. Hux looked at his hand and then to Ben who was just smirking at him. The day was only half over and he was already ready to just climb into bed and go to sleep. 

They made it to the cafeteria and it was already starting to fill up. People all in different uniforms, Hux hadn't looked inside here before. It was loud with so many different conversations going at once and the clanking of silverware. It was so unlike the cafeteria at the academy, everyone ate in silence.

Hux watched as Ben picked up a tray and started making his way through the line, so Hux did the same. Ben held Rey on his hip again so she could see and pick out the food she wanted, the plate was piled high by the time they were done. Hux picked out a few things, mostly vegetables and fruit, with some fish, he really didn't care for meat and had always used supplements to get any iron or protein he was missing out on. 

They found a table close to the wall and sat. Ben placed the tray full of food in front of Rey and she began eating quickly. 

Ben let out a small laugh, "Rey stop eating like you've been wandering around a desert without food."

Rey had a mouth full of food so she just shook her head and slowed down her pace.

Hux had begun eating when he noticed Bed hadn't gotten anything,"where's your food?"

Ben simply shrugged, "i'm not hungry."

"You won't gain any muscle if you don't eat, you can train all you want but you'll just stay skinny if you don't eat some protein."

Ben gave him a weird look, "I know, i just don't usually have an appetite, not like Rey here," and he poked her in the side, she just glared at him with her mouth still full of food. Not long into his meal Hux began noticing the people around them getting up and leaving rather quickly, some still had food on their trays, how wasteful. He also noticed no one had sat at the table with them even though there were plenty of seats left. It was his fault, they knew he didn't belong here and were making a point of showing it. He kept glancing around, they all thought he was some kind of spy didn't they, as if he would ever go back to the First Order. He put his silverware down and then noticed Ben was staring at him with an almost sad look on his face, his head resting in one of hands.

"It's not you," another sad look crossed his face and he continued before Hux could ask him what he meant, "they get nervous around me."

"You are the General's son, what do they have to be nervous about?"

"I didn't always have the best control over my powers, rumors start, not too much you can do about it", he looked to Rey eating and then back to Hux, "but that's a topic for another time."

Hux shook his head he knew he didn't want to talk about those kind of things in front of Rey. He didn't know how the two were connected but he could tell Rey admired and looked up to him. The two finished eating and then the three of them made their way out of the cafeteria.

Ben looked to him, "same time tomorrow?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Are you okay with Rey joining us?" she looked up at Hux expectantly.

"Of course she can come, maybe she can show me a few new moves", he smirked at her.

She grinned up at him, "I know I can!" and jumped shaking Ben's arm in her grip.

"I look forward to it, until tomorrow then."

"Until tomorrow then", Ben paused for a moment and then looked at him again with an almost sad look, "thank you Hux."

Hux wasn't sure what Ben was thanking him for but he simply shook his head and watched as the two turned around to leave hand in hand.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you so much for reading!
> 
> And come talk to me on my Tumblr ragingsolo.tumblr.com :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please heed the new tags added, I don't want to spoil the chapter too much, but Ben finds out some news and doesn't take it too well.

It's been a couple of days since Rey started joining them for training. Ben and Rey get some of their Jedi training in before he gets there, something to do with the Force that he still doesn't really understand.   

He walks into the training room expecting to see Rey and Ben training again, but when he walks in it's  just Ben. He's walking across the mat to Ben and he's just looking at him with a small grin on his face, what was going on.  

He finishes walking across the mats and comes up to Ben who hasn't moved, "where's Rey? Is she not coming today?"  

Ben just grins a little bigger and Hux feels like he's walked into some kind of trap.  

"I did it!"   

The sudden noise makes Hux flinch and turn around. Rey is jumping down from the bench and running towards them grinning.  

He turns back to Ben and before he can say anything Ben speaks, "she's finally got it, she was sitting on the bench when you came in but she was able to shield her presence from you."  

"I don't understand", how can she be there, but also not be there.  

"Well it's not like she goes invisible or anything, but you just aren't able to really notice and remember you saw her. It will still take a lot of practice to use against other force sensitive people but she's on the right track."  

"You really didn't see me Hux!?" She's pulling on his arm.  

He looks down at her, "I really did not, you are getting a lot better", he can't help but be impressed.  

"Alright Rey me and Hux are going to train for a little bit, can you keep practicing on your own?"  

"Of course!"  

Ben has changed his fighting style since Rey joined them and now takes the offensive. They're still an even match though trying to land hits on one another as Rey watches from the bench.  

Ben has been looking at him more than usual today, and wonders why for a moment until he realizes at almost the same time as Ben does, "Hux are you wearing my shirt?"  

Ben drops his arms and Hux sees his opening and goes for it. He's able to sweep Ben's legs out from underneath him and Ben lands hard on the mat and is stunned for a moment. Hux takes the opportunity to pin Ben's arms down with his knees right over the elbow.  

"Do you give?"   

"Come on Ben!" Rey isn't practicing anymore and starts cheering Ben on.  

Ben gives him a quick smirk and before he can figure out what that means Ben is flicking his wrist and now Hux is on his back on the mat. Ben has his knees on either side of his hip and uses his hands to pin Hux's arms to his side.  

"That's cheating Ben, you're not allowed to use the force."  

Ben just ignores and mocks him, "do you give? And you didn't answer my question"  

"You wish and it's not like I stole it, you didn't seem to miss it much," it's a stare down, both of their faces flushed and almost too close. He can't let himself get distracted, he hasn't lost yet, and Ben is too over confident right now. Hux brings his knees up and pretends to struggle for a moment. While Ben's distracted by trying to keep his arms pinned down, he uses his foot to push one of Ben's legs out from underneath him. It works and Ben loosens his grip and now he's able to roll him onto his stomach. He uses his forearm to pin Ben to the mat by the back of his neck and he lets out a huff of breath before tapping the mat. Hux stands and puts his hand out to pull Ben up who tries his best to glare but it doesn’t mean much with the smirk also on his face. The sees the smirk quickly disappear from Ben's face as he glances behind his shoulder. Hux turns to where he's looking, they had been so lost in the match, nobody had noticed Luke at the door.  

"Uncle Luke!" Rey hadn't either and now has left the bench and runs over to Luke, who quickly picks her up.  

"So this is where you were Rey, have you been training with Ben?"  

Rey looks to Ben and then quietly, "a little, just forms though."  

Hux wonders briefly if Luke is able to tell that Rey is lying, or if he simply believes the child wouldn't lie. He flicks his eyes back to Ben and can see he's angry, but he's begun to realize that he hides his other emotions behind anger.   

  

-  

"How long have you been here?" He doesn't like feeling like he's being spied on.  

Ben catches Luke glance at the mirrors, the last time Luke was in here he had shattered them. They were replaced the next day, though he hadn't told anyone, so Luke must have sent someone to fix it.   

"I haven't been here long, just wanted to see what you guys were up to," he turns to Rey, "so Rey have you been training here everyday?"  

Rey looks at Ben again and he nods at her, she has been training but Luke doesn't need to know what kind of training.   

"That was some pretty good fighting Hux, did you learn all of that while at the Academy?"  

Ben sees Hux shift slightly, he can tell he's nervous. It's just an innocent question from Luke, but he knows for Hux it's an unpleasant reminder. Hux has told him bits and pieces of his life before coming here and why he made the decision to leave.  

"Yes, I di-."  

He steps forward a little bit towards Luke and cuts Hux off, "we're finished for the day Uncle Luke", hoping he'll understand.  

He pauses for a moment,"of course, Rey are you ready for lunch?" She nods her head quickly, "good let's go get some food, I'll see you two later then," it sounds like a question. 

They both nod to Luke and then watch as Luke and Rey leave, he takes a deep breath and flops onto the mat and brings his knees to his chest and wraps his arms around them. Hux takes a seat next to him on the mat in the same position, they both sit there without saying anything for a moment.  

Hux talks first, "I'm sorry if this question is too personal, but why don't the two of you get along? He seems to mean well".  

He can't help but let out a sigh, "he does, but I've always been able to feel some fear that my parents and Luke have always had towards me. There are some other reasons but those don't matter right now," he lays his head on top of his hands that rest on his knees. 

"You mentioned that the other day about other people, but why would your family be scared of you, I've seen no reason for them to think that".  

"They're afraid I'll become like my grandfather," he hesitates, "like Darth Vader". From what Hux has told him about his time in the academy he knows that Hux must have learned a lot about Darth Vader and his master the Emperor Palpatine.   

"What would make them believe that, you're not anything like him, from what I've heard of him?"  

"They don't say it out right to me, but I've heard my parents whisper. I started showing force powers at a very young age much like he did and I wasn't able to control them when I got upset as a child," or now he admits to himself.  

He was one of the most powerful dark force users. They don’t talk about him too much, but there are plenty of ways to find out about him. He often let his emotions get the better of him and did a lot of horrible things. He gave into the power the dark side could give him and as I've said before I haven't always had the best control of my powers. It's one of the reasons why I don't train with Luke and his other students, and why I train here alone. They can pretend it doesn't scare them, but I know."  

"He was your grandfather, that doesn't mean you'll be anything like him. People are intimidated by your power but you shouldn't let that have an affect on you." Hux's face is serious and Ben knows he must speak from his own experience.  

"I also had visions as a child, whether they're real or constructed I don’t know. I always thought they were just dreams, but then I learned Jedi sometimes have visions of the future. When I told Uncle Luke about one of the dreams I had I could feel how nervous it made him."  

"Will you tell me what it was about?" He hesitates he's not sure why he's telling Hux any of this, "you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."  

"It's okay, it was mostly flashes of images but what I remember most from the dream is how cold I was. I had fought someone and was laying in the snow bleeding. I couldn't see the blood at first because my clothes were dark, but I remember how warm my hand felt as I held onto my side. Compared to the cold air around me it almost burned. I had a lightsaber that burned and sparked against the snow before going out and leaving me in the dark."  

"What about the dream would make Luke nervous?"  

"Force users create their lightsabers from Kyber crystals. The crystals determine what color your lightsaber will be based on the energy the person puts into the crystal. Dark Force users usually always had red lightsabers, and in my dream so was mine. I didn't know as a kid what that meant and had been so excited to tell Luke about it; but when he just looked at me with concern I knew something was wrong."  

He glances sideways at Hux and can see things are starting to make sense in his mind, so he continues on, "the last thing I remember about the dream though is how calm I felt. That even though I was laying in the snow, and the longer I was there the more red the snow grew, I still had so much hope. I knew that someone was looking for me and that they would find me."  

He hadn't thought about the vision he had had for awhile now and can't help but close his eyes for a moment. As he thinks about it more he remembers more details. The planet was shaking like the very core itself was cracking apart. Then there is someone there, yelling for him, a flash of black and orange, leaning over him. He snaps his eyes open and turns to Hux and for a moment the vision and the present blur together, Hux filling in the form that hovered over him in the snow.    

He blinks the vision away and suddenly he feels a hand on his shoulder, "Ben are you okay?"  

"I'm fine, sorry I didn't mean to talk so much, you don't want to hear about all my problems."  

"No Ben, I'm glad you told me, thank you," Hux's hand is still on his shoulder and it feels so comforting, he can tell Hux is being sincere. They look at each other for a moment and he feels it again, fondness from Hux. It doesn't feel the same as what he feels from his parents and Luke. He feels his face get warm and then Hux is taking his hand away, "I'm sorry I'm making you uncomfortable."  

"No," he feels he said way too quickly, "no you don't."  

"Oh, okay."  

For a few minutes neither one says anything, "you're not scared of me," it's not a question but rather a statement based on what he feels from Hux. Most people are and even after everything he's told Hux his emotions stay the same. He still has the need to confirm what he feels.  

Hux shakes his head, "I have no reason to be, it's irrational to be afraid of something simply because you cannot understand it," His arms are crossed as if he's waiting for him to argue against him but then relaxes, "food does sound good, would you like to get some with me, I'd rather not eat alone." 

"Okay." 

He follows Hux as they make their way to the door and then Hux turns on him and points a finger in his face, "and you can't say you're not hungry this time, you will be eating." 

"Yes General," and he gives him a fake salute hoping to get a rise out of Hux, but instead of getting irritated Hux actually looks pleased. 

They take the back way into the building to hopefully avoid too many people but this way takes them past his mother's office. He tries to shield his presence but she had always been good at sensing him when he's this close, so he's not surprised when her door opens as they get closer. 

"Ben, Hux," she looks at both of them, "Luke tells me the two of you have been training together," of course Uncle Luke would tell her though it's not like either one of them is doing anything wrong. 

"Yes, we have been so we should really be going to get some food." 

"Okay, it'll only take a moment but I just need to ask Hux a question or two while you're here, is that okay?" 

Hux looks at him for an answer, it's not like he can argue, especially when it's over something as simple as asking a question, "yes ma'am, what can I help with?" 

"You mentioned the First Order was starting to form under the command of a leader, you said his name was Snoke, is there anything else you can tell me about him?" 

He suddenly feels paralyzed, like his body can’t bring in any air to his lungs. Snoke, he's heard the name, it's been whispered to him, the name's made promises to him, it's always been there. The conversation continues on but he doesn't feel like he's the one listening. _'I'm afraid I don't General, not much was said about him, from what I could learn_ _,_ _no one has seen him in person_ _..._ _'_ He feels like his heart is going to burst and no one will be able to stop it from happening. He's trying to concentrate to what Hux is saying but he can barely make out anything. _'...I don't know where he comes from, only that he is powerful...'_  He can't help his hands from trembling, he needs to leave...he has to go, his mother looks at him, she's saying something, he can tell from her mouth moving but he can't hear her. Hux is looking at him now too and they both look concerned. It's Hux who puts a hand on his shoulder and slightly breaks him from his trance, "Ben, what's wrong?" 

"Nothing...I need to go," he recognizes the voice as his but he doesn't feel the words come out of his mouth. 

"Ben?" He looks at his mother, "what is it?" 

"I...I..just need to go." 

"O-okay," he knows she feels something is wrong. He feels both of their concern but they let him leave. He doesn’t really feel his feet move, but he somehow makes it home. Han isn't there and the house is dark and quiet, he doesn't know whether he likes the familiarity of it or if the silence might crush him. He tries to calm down, to take deep breathes and focus, but it makes sense doesn't it, that Snoke would also be part of the First Order. He remembers what Hux told him about them, that they were the remnants of the Empire that his grandfather helped lead. The Empire that killed thousands upon thousands of people in the name of false peace. Is that what he was destined to do to, would he even be able to escape it? 

He opens the door to his room, it's just how he left it, it's been a couple of weeks since he was last in here. The curtains are closed, books piled high on his desk and the bed sheets are thrown around the bed from where he's tossed and turned. He lays on the bed, everything is as it should be but he feels lost and so tired, and without meaning to falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some much needed fluff in this chapter, also some new tags so please check those before continuing. Hope you like this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it :)

As Hux watched Ben quickly walk away he had the urge to follow after him but didn't move. Something was wrong and he felt he needed to help in some way. He looked to Leia who was also watching Ben go with a sad look on her face. She looked back to him and tried to make a smile but it didn't reach her eyes.  

"He won't talk to me or his father when he gets like that," she must have seen the look of concern on his face, "maybe he'll talk to you, do you think you could do that for me?" 

He would have done it even if she hadn't asked. The two of them confided each other more and more, both telling each other things that hadn't told anyone else, there was no judging one another. Despite Ben trying to prove to everyone how confident and strong he was, he knew it was a mask and he felt the need to protect Ben.    

"I can, where do you think he went?" he said as he tried to keep the concern out of his voice. 

"He probably went back to the house, Han's away for a little bit again, Ben sometimes holds himself up in his room." 

"Okay, I'll go find him." 

As he went to walk away Leia grabbed his arm, "thank you". 

He gave her a small nod before making his way to the house. He wasn't sure what he was going to say, he really didn't know what was going on or what had set Ben off. He had been talking about Leader Snoke to the General. He really didn't know anything about the mysterious Leader, but Ben had definitely reacted to the name. The General didn't know anything about him so how could Ben possibly know anything about him. 

He came to the house and knocked on the door, he listened for any sound but there was no answer. He turned the knob and found it unlocked, as he walked inside it was dark. He wasn't sure if Ben was really even here. 

"Ben?" 

He stood in the living room and looked around, he had been here once before but he had no idea where Ben's room even was. He knew where Han and Leia's room was though so he headed for the opposite side of the house. As he made his way down the hallway only one room's door was closed and remembered what Leia had said. 

He stood in front of the door, "Ben?" He didn't hear any noise from the other side so he said it a little louder, "Ben? It's Hux, I...I came to check on you." 

He listened closely and could hear Ben shifting on his bed, "Hux?" 

"Yes, are you alright?" 

It was quiet for a few seconds before Ben said, "just go away Hux." 

While he expected that answer he wasn't going to give in that easily. 

"Ben let me in, let's just talk, you know you can talk to me about anything." 

"I...I know that, I just can't," Ben said his voice still muffled by the door but it sounded a little clearer, he must have been standing close to the door now. 

"Then we don't have to talk, will you let me in?" 

There was a moment with no sound but then he heard Ben turn the knob. Ben opened the door but immediately turned and walked towards the window to stare out the window. His hair was a mess so he must have been trying to sleep before he got here. Hux simply walked in, he looked around the room, it was large but there wasn't much in it. There were some books stacked up and a few mechanical peieces laying on a desk but otherwise it was mostly empty. It reminded him of his own room, "nice room". 

Ben turned to him but now he looked irritated, "I'm not trying to be facetious, it really is nice. I don't understand why you would rather spend most of your time in the training room than here."

His face fell, "whether here or there, it doesn't make a difference." 

Hux took a seat at a desk chair while Ben continued to stand and look at him, neither one of them saying anything.

"I don't understand why you're here," it was almost a whisper from Ben. 

He felt like he needed to be, "I'm not really sure either, I just felt you might want someone to talk to?" 

Ben just shook his head, "you wouldn't understand." 

"You can't know that until you talk to me about it." 

Ben didn't say anything, Hux didn't want to press the matter but he knew not talking about it wouldn't solve anything either. 

"Why don't you want to talk about what's bothering you, it has something to do with the conversation your mother and I were having doesn't it?" 

Ben still stayed quiet. 

"It's about Snoke?" 

"Don’t say his name," Ben is frantic when he says it and looks around like the mysterious figure might come in any moment. 

"I'm sorry, I won't say it again," so it was about the leader, "how do you know him, has he done something to you?" 

Ben doesn't say anything as he moves to sit on his bed and puts his head in his hands, his bangs covering his face now. Hux wasn't very good at comforting others. He knew how to solve things though and if Ben would just tell him what was happening maybe he could help. The longer he looked at Ben the more Ben seemed to curl in on himself. Ben had let him into his room, perhaps he would let him in further. 

He quietly stood up and walked over to kneel in front of Ben, he couldn't really see his face but he could feel how much pain he was in. As he looked up at him though it became clear now why he had come. He doesn't know exactly when it happened but he had grown feelings for Ben. He didn't know what love was, he may have loved his mother at one time but it had become tainted with his bitterness towards her. You wanted to help and protect the people you loved didn't you, she hadn't done that with him, but he wanted to with Ben. He wondered briefly if Ben felt the same as he brushed away hair from Ben's face. 

Ben lifted his face out of his hands to look at him, his face mostly blank, "you don't have to tell me everything all at once, just start slow tell me a little bit." 

Ben nodded before he spoke up, barely louder than a whisper, "He's always been here, he....he talks to me in here." Ben placed a finger on his temple, "for as long as I can remember, he's always been in here. When I was younger I thought maybe it was my imagination or that I was going crazy, but it started feeling like a real presence as I got older. Then you said his name and I know he's told me his name before." 

"How can he do that, talk to you?" 

Ben shook his head again before continuing, "I don't know but he has to be strong, strong with the power of the dark side of the force, it scares me. He's told me how powerful I could be if I would open myself up to the dark side. I'm able to block him out most of the time now though." 

Has Ben really been dealing with something like this his whole life? How was he able to do it, all the mood swings and fleeting emotions made more sense now. Why he always looked so tired and hardly ate, it must be exhausting. He also remembered the time he had been early to training and caught Ben talking to himself. It made him angry. 

"Have you not told anyone else, not even your parents or Luke?" 

"No, I thought they would think I was crazy, I tried training with Luke I really tried, but the voice was only louder when I was at the temple I couldn't block it out. So I came back here to train by myself, but I still can't get rid of him." 

Hux thought about what Ben had told him, he really didn’t understand much about the Force and how it worked. He never would have believed something could be powerful enough to reach someone from across the galaxy. He didn't really know what he could do to help besides encourage him, he had always been good with getting people to believe in his words. 

He placed a hand on one of Ben's knees to ground them both,"you're not weak Ben, do you know how extraordinary it is that you've fought him off this long. Most people would have crumbled by now." 

Ben met his eyes and he could tell he was searching for a lie, "I mean it Ben, you're strong. I promise I won't tell anyone of this, you can decide when you're ready". 

Ben slowly shook his head and now looked like all the energy had been drained from his body at the confession. 

Hux stood back up, "I can tell your tired, you should get some sleep". 

Ben snapped his head up, "will...will you stay until I fall asleep?" 

Before Hux could answer Ben was taking it back, "I'm sorry, you don't have to, it's okay". 

"No it's fine Ben, I will," he said as he gave a reassuring smile. 

He saw Ben visibly relax before laying down on the bed, "thank you".

He took a seat back in the desk chair and shifted to face the window. Hux looked out the window at the wind blowing the leaves on the trees and shifting the streaks of light filtering through the room. He got lost in watching the shifting shadows and it wasn't long before he heard Ben's breaths even out and slow down. He looked back to Ben to see he was fast asleep now, he decided to stay for a few more minutes before quietly getting up.  

He took one last look at Ben as he slept before leaving, determined now that he would find a way to get rid of whoever this Snoke person was along with the First Order. 

 ---

Hux had been reading at his desk for awhile now, he spent a lot of his time doing this since he got here. Between training with Ben and talking with the General every now and then he still had a lot free time. He mostly read what he could find about the Galactic War, what he had been able to read while in the academy was clearly biased. He was able to read so much more about what had happened from both side, from the Clone Wars to now and everything in between. Ben had sent him a message saying he wouldn't be training today, so this is what he had been doing since he woke up.  

It had been about three weeks since Ben confided in him about what had been happening. They hadn't trained together too much though since then, he felt he needed to give Ben some space. They hadn't really brought up the subject again yet, and would be patient. He also made sure to let him spend a little more time with Rey who always seemed to put him in a good spirits. He also needed to think about the feelings he had for Ben, he didn't want to put that on him until he was sure of himself. The General hadn’t asked him about going to talk to Ben, she must have just been okay with the fact that Ben hadn't isolated himself to his room. It was getting closer to evening when he heard a knock at his door, that almost never happened. 

He set his datapad down, "come in", he said hesitantly.  

The door opened and he saw Ben make his way in with a smile and looked around the room, "nice room". 

Hux stood up and ignored the way Ben copied him from when he had commented on his room, "what are you doing here and how did you find my room?" 

"I have my ways," he said as he smirked. 

Hux just crossed his arms, "you asked C3PO, didn't you?" 

Ben's smile faltered slightly, "maybe". 

"You usually just message me, why did you come in person?" 

"I brought food," and Ben raised the bags in his hands. 

"That still doesn't explain anything." 

"It's Life Day", he said as if that made any more sense and made his way inside. 

"I don't know what that is." 

"I figured as much, it's a holiday we celebrate once a year, comes from the planet Kashyyyk, mostly a celebration of hope and life," he said as he shrugged. 

"I see, we didn’t celebrate that on Arkanis." 

"Well I brought food, some traditional dishes, a lot better than what the cafeteria will have," he said as walked to the table to set the bags down. Ben was wearing more casual clothes today, a simple faded white shirt and dark blue pants, they almost matched. 

Hux moved to take out plates and utensils he'd stocked his room with. As Ben started taking out various containers and opening them, he began getting wafts of different scents,"that smells amazing." 

"Well I would hope so I made it," Ben smiled to himself as he finished pulling containers out of the bags. 

"You did?" he tried not to look surprised as he set the plates down. 

"Don't look at me like that, I can cook really well actually," he said as he pointed a finger at him. 

Hux laughed, "of course," he was glad to see Ben in such good spirits. They both took a seat and Hux took various servings of the different dishes while Ben explained what they were and what was in them. As he began tasting some of the dishes we knew he recognized some of them. 

"I also made some of these based on recipes I was able to find from Arkansis, of course I wasn't able to get all the exact ingredients but I hope you like them." 

When Hux turned to look at Ben he turned his head away to continue eating, but he could see Ben's ears were red. Had he really put that much work into this.  

"Thank you, I really appreciate that," and he meant it no one ever really went out of their way to do something for him, "is this why you couldn't train today? How long did it take to make all of this?" 

"It didn't take too long, most of this I've made before," he said nonchalantly. 

Hux also eyed a couple of fruits still sitting in the bags, "could you pass me one of those as well," and pointed to the fruit next to Ben. He watched as one of the pieces of fruit lifted up and floated right into his hand and raised an eyebrow at Ben, "really Ben?" 

"You said pass, I passed it," and gave a small smirk. 

"Show off," he mumbled under his breath before taking several bites of more of the dishes and was really amazed at how good they all were. Ben was actually really good at cooking. 

Ben could feel his contentment, "I'm glad you like it." 

"I do, it really is good, who taught you?" Hux asked as they talked in between bites. 

"I mostly taught myself, some I learned from watching the service droids we had while we were living in the New Republic." 

"Is that where you started celebrating this holiday?" 

"Some did, but it was mostly my family who made sure we celebrated it. It's just about celebrating being alive, honoring those in your life and remembering those who have passed on. Having good food and exchanging gifts." 

"I see, this holiday seems similar to the day you would celebrate being born, I guess mine would have been about a standard month ago. The days here are similar to Arkanis, though I never celebrated it I knew of others who did." 

"How old does that make you now?" 

"Seventeen standard years, how old are you now? Do you celebrate that as well?" Hux had been curious about it, he had guessed Ben was close to his age. 

"Fifteen standard years, mine wasn't that long ago either, we did when I was younger," Ben paused, "I would have been about eight years into Jedi training now had I stayed there". 

"Don't think that that's your fault Ben," he needed to change the subject, "what else do you do on this holiday?" 

"There's usually fireworks, my mother always makes sure to have a big fireworks show, it's in about an hour from now, it's another reason why I came I didn’t want you to miss it," Ben sounded excited. 

Hux hummed, he hadn't seen very many fireworks shows, they hadn't seemed important. He was looking forward to seeing this one though. Once he was full he set his fork down on his plate and smiled at Ben, "that was really good Ben, thank you."  

Ben turned to look at him and Hux would say he looked nervous.  

"There is one more thing, like I said sometimes people exchange gifts. I know you haven't celebrated before so I didn't expect you to know, but I did have a gift to give you though." 

"You didn't need to do that." 

Ben swallowed hard before he said, "I just hope you'll be okay with it." 

"Okay, what is it?" 

"Can you sit on the bed first and close you eyes?" 

"Um, sure," he hesitated a little. 

"Do you trust me?" Ben asked as he looked at him earnestly. 

"Of course Ben, we've known each other for awhile now, I have no reason now not to trust you." 

Ben shifted a little in his seat, "do you really trust me?" 

Hux looked at Ben, "Yes I do." 

Hux waited for Ben to acknowledge his truth and then stood up and sat on the edge of his bed, he didn't see why he couldn't have stayed in his seat though. 

"Now close your eyes, and no peaking I'll be able to tell if you do." 

"Alright Ben, my eyes are closed." 

He heard Ben stand up and shuffle around for a moment before he felt that Ben was standing in front of him.  

"What is it Ben? Can I open my eyes now?" 

"No not yet, I...um I hope it's something you'll want to keep," he continued to sound nervous. 

"I'm sure I will," he didn't sound sure now though, Ben was now making him nervous. 

"This..this is something I've never given anyone before." 

Before Hux had a chance to ask what it was again or open his eyes he felt unsure lips on his, barely there before they left. He snapped his eyes open to see Ben pull his face away now completely red. He just looked at Ben, mad at himself for not having been the one to have done it first. 

"You're mad, I'm sorry," Ben went to back away but Hux stood and grabbed his wrist to pull him back in and pressed their lips back together. He put his hand on the back of Ben's neck to put more pressure into the kiss to let Ben know just how much he wanted to keep their lips together. Ben relaxed into the kiss and began kissing back eagerly. 

He slowly took his mouth away, still slightly pressed against Ben's lips as he spoke, "I'm only mad that I didn't do this before you did, I've had feelings for you for awhile now." 

"Oh, then this is good, it's okay?" Ben said looking right into his eyes.

"Yes Ben it's more than okay, this is something I haven't given to anyone before either." 

"Then..I...i'm someone you would want to keep?" 

Hux studied Ben's eyes for a moment, Ben had always wanted to seem like he was confident. The look in his eyes now begged that he was worth enough. 

"Yes Ben you are, and am I someone you would want to keep as well?" 

"Yes" 

Hux cupped Ben's face in his hands and drew him in for another kiss, Ben putting his hands on Hux's wrists. Ben's lips were so soft and still slightly hesitant, but Hux kept the kiss slow and languid letting both of them get  accustomed to the feeling. It felt so right and Hux knew now this was definitely something he wanted and was sure of his feelings. 

Hux pulled away to let themselves catch their breaths for a moment and placed their foreheads together, keeping his voice low as he whispered to him, "Ben, you're worth so much more than you think. I don't care about other people's opinions or what He expects from you," he felt Ben flinch and grip his wrists tighter but kept going, "he can't have you, you're strong and I know you'll only get stronger. But whenever you feel like you're not able to keep going, I'll be here, I'll always be there to stand beside you and fight alongside you." 

He felt Ben trembling a little, tears now falling onto his hands, "do you believe me when I say this?" 

Ben nodded his head and let out a small 'yes'. 

Hux gave him another slow kiss before pulling away and wiping the remaining tears from Ben's face, "do you still want to go see the fireworks?" 

"Yes, you have to see them," he said and Ben's eyes lit up. 

Hux had to let out a small laugh, "alright let's go, you lead the way." 

They walked together outside to where they thought they would have the best view of the fireworks. There were already a lot of people gathered around sitting in the grass, some people playing instruments, talking and laughing. They passed by Han and Leia who were laughing with one another. Han must have come back for the holiday, they both stopped laughing as they caught sight of them. They waved at the both of them, a warm smile on Leia and Han's faces, as they both waved back. They kept walking and chose a spot to the back of the slope, sitting close together leaning back on their arms. Hux positioned his arm closer to place a hand over Ben's and even in the dark he could see how flushed Ben became. 

The fireworks started and they were amazing, one after the other each a different color. He had only seen a couple before when he was much younger but they were nothing like this. The people around them all making sounds of awe as the colors shifted. He glanced over to Ben who's dark eyes were glowing from the colors and watched him for a moment. Soon someone in front shouted that the finale was coming up; Ben turned to him with a huge smile on his face and he thought in that moment how he would do whatever it took to keep that smile on his face.  

All the others around them started cheering as the finale began and the entire sky was filled with sparks and explosions. They didn't take their eyes off of each other though, Hux leaned over and kissed him as the sound of fireworks and cheering drowned the rest of the world out around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So fluffy right (/◕ヮ◕)/
> 
> Thank you again for reading and hope you liked it :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For referencing time, this takes place a couple of weeks after the last chapter :) 
> 
> Please enjoy!

 

Hux woke up irritated, he had hardly been able to sleep at all. Bad storms had rolled in through the night and the loud thunder had brought him back to his old house. A different bad memory came back with each clash of thunder and he had simply tossed and turned. 

He wanted to stay in bed but was finally able to drag himself out come morning. He took a quick shower and shaved, tried to do something with his hair but failed, he needed to cut it again. Ben would join him for lunch sometimes, but never for breakfast so at least he wouldn't have to pretend to be in a good mood. 

He made it to the cafeteria and grabbed his food and coffee, sitting at their usual table with his back to the wall. He wasn't really hungry but forced the food down. He glanced around the cafeteria and made eye contact with Poe who gave him a wink, and he rolled his eyes. He continued to look around and unfortunately made eye contact with Derrik who glared at him, Hux didn’t even try to school his features and glared right back. 

He went back to his breakfast and was almost done before he felt hot liquid run down his back and jumped up.  

"Oh, I'm so sorry didn't mean to spill that on you, hope that didn't hurt too much," of course it was pfassking Derrik, didn't a grown man have better things to do than to antagonize people.

Hux saw red as he looked at the mock of sincerity on Derrik's face. He threw himself at Derrik and pinned him to the wall with his forearm on his neck, Derrik went willingly and smiled. He immediately cursed himself, it had been a trap to get him to make a scene, word would get back to the General, it just made him more angry and shoved harder onto his throat. 

"Hux!," he could tell it was Poe, "hey buddy just let him go, he's not worth it". 

He lowered his voice before he spoke, "you should listen to your friend, don't want the General to hear about this would you. Especially after all that work of trying to get on her good side by hanging out with her freak of a son," he whispered, hissing out the word freak and Hux lost it. 

Hux didn't think he just moved, he brought his arm back and landed a hard punch to the side of Derrik's chin. Derrik landed hard on his back on the floor stunned. Hux made to move himself over him to keep punching, but he was soon grabbed and held back by Poe. 

"Let go of me Dameron!", Derrik had wanted a fight and he was ready to give one, he didn't care if the man was bigger than him. His patience is long gone and he doesn’t care that he's making a scene. Derrik wiped the blood from his mouth and gave him another smile as he sat up. Hux couldn't use his arms because Poe had them pinned behind him but he could still use his legs. Before either one could register what was happening Hux brought his leg up and was able to land a kick straight to his stomach, right where he had punched him. Hux made a feral grin as the air was knocked out of him and he landed on his back again. 

"Alright that's enough Hux," Poe pulled him away as a couple of Derrik's friends helped him up. He struggled for a moment before relaxing in Poe's grip. He was still breathing heavy but he soon calmed himself down as the other man was walked out. He looked around and unsurprisingly everyone was looking at them. 

"I won't apologize," he said as Poe released him. 

"I know Derrik can be a jerk sometimes, but it wasn't just about a spilled drink was it? What did he say to you?" 

"It doesn't matter, I messed up," he ran a hand through his hair and looked at Poe and around the cafeteria one more time, "excuse me." 

He made it back to his room, his adrenaline now gone and more tired than before. He resisted pacing around the room and uncurled his hands from where he had been cutting his palm with his own nails. He took a deep breath and sat on the bed, he could only wait for the other shoe to drop. 

 

\-- 

 

It's been a couple of days later when he and Ben are leaving the training gym. When they walk past the hangars, Poe is there and he looks like he's showing off a new long range blaster rifle. He hadn't seen Poe since the incident, and had yet to be asked to come to the General's office, which surprised him honestly. He also hadn't told Ben about it and he had been able to get healing cream to get rid of the bruises from his hand before he could see. 

Hux can't help but pause for a moment and regard the rifle, he had always been the top of his class when it came to weapons, and suddenly found he missed it. He hadn't found it appropriate to ask for his small blaster back or any weapon for that matter, he didn't have a need for one here. 

Ben stops next to him he must sense his curiosity, "Poe always likes showing off his new toys, can you shoot?" 

"Yes, I was the best in the academy." 

"Pretty confident in yourself huh?" 

"It's not my opinion, it's a fact."

Poe pauses with who he's talking to when he sees them and turns to walk towards them. 

Ben rolls his eyes, "here he comes to show off".

Poe trots up to them, "hey Hux," he turns to Ben, "Ben," he pauses and looks pointedly at him, probably still bitter about Ben stealing his ship, "what are you guys up to?" 

Hux speaks first, "we just finished a round of training".

"Oh, you doing okay, after you know, the other day?" 

Hux tried to stop Poe before he finished his sentence but he wasn't fast enough, "fine, everything's fine." 

Ben steps forward, "what happened Hux?" 

"It was nothing Ben," he pulls Poe to the side, "why did you bring that up?"

"Sorry, but you don't need to worry, I went to the General and explained the situation before anyone else could. She didn't say much about it but she didn't seem mad so that's good right?" 

Hux breathes a sigh of relief, "yes, thank you Poe, but can we please change the subject?" Ben is now scowling at them as they break apart. 

"Oh uh, you wanna go shoot some targets with my new rifle?" Poe is so obvious it hurts.

He goes along with it nevertheless, he is genuinely interested, "it is an impressive weapon, have you fired it yet?" he glances at Ben who is still staring daggers at him. 

"Well actually not yet, was about to make my way to the firing range actually, you guys wanna join me?" 

Hux looks to Ben who just rolls his eyes but gives a nod yes, "sure Poe lead the way." 

As they walk to the range following Poe, Ben is right behind him arms crossed over his chest. He's not going to let it go, Poe just had to bring it up in front of him. 

When they get to the firing range there's already a couple of other soldiers there practicing as well. They take a stall that’s on the far end and used for closer targets. The ones they pass up along the way are used for targets much farther away. They walk into the stand and start a simulator to set a target up 100 yards away. They both watch as Poe sets the rifle on a tripod and takes aim.  

When he fires he barely grazes the target, "ah, need to adjust the sight". 

He's not sure what Poe will say but he asks anyways, "may I?" 

"Uh, yeah sure," and Poe hands him the rifle, "do you know a lot about rifles?" 

"I know a lot of information on many different kinds of weapons," he states simply. 

Hux sits on the bench and looks through the sight and takes his time to adjust it. He aims at the target and hits right in the middle. 

"Wow nice shot," he can hear Poe somewhat impressed, "wanna try again?" 

"Sure, set it at 300 yards." 

Poe hesitates but moves the target as far as it will go at the range they're at, "alright".

Hux lines up the shot again and the simulator responds with another target hit dead on again. 

"Man you're pretty good, what's the farthest you can hit?" 

Hux looks up from the sight, "I can shoot a target at 1500 yards." 

"Fif—Fifteen hundred yards? Are you serious?" 

"Yes I am." 

"I don't believe you, can you prove it?"

"I would have to use a sniper rifle, this blaster isn't built for that kind of distance." 

He sees Poe working things over in his head, "I can get you one real quick, wait here." 

"But Poe I-", Poe runs off before he can finish or give Poe his gun back. He feels like he shouldn't be left alone with it. Though Poe obviously trusts him he's not sure about the soldiers around him. 

"It's okay Hux, they're not paying attention." 

He looks up to Ben who has been mostly quiet the whole time, he knows he doesn't want to be here and he's mad, "I would swear you could read minds". 

"Well I can't, yet, are you going to tell me what happened?" 

"Nothing happened Ben." 

"You're lying I can tell that much." 

"I...I got in a fight with Derrik...in the cafeteria, in front of everyone." 

"Did he hurt you?" Ben looks worried for a moment. 

"No, I beat the shit out of him, I would have done more damage but Poe held me back." 

"Why?" 

"I guess so I wouldn't ruin his face." 

Ben makes something of a small laugh, "no I mean, why did you get in a fight with him. He must have said something, you're usually pretty controlled?" 

Hux usually is and isn't sure what to say, Ben will know if he's lying, "initially it was because he purposely spilled hot coffee down my back, then he insulted you." 

"You fought him over that?" Ben says it as if fighting over an insult directed at him is the craziest thing he's heard of. 

"I...yes I did, I was not going to allow him to insult you or me for that matter." 

"You didn't need to that," he says as he fidgets. 

"Yes I did, also I won't lie and say it didn't feel great to punch him in the face," he knows his smile is cruel, but Ben just smiles back at him. 

He sees Poe running up from behind Ben and Poe's looking like an excited puppy, "alright I got one, lets head down to the longer ranges, get ready to prove yourself." 

Hux and Ben walk side by side following Poe as he leads them to the other shooting range, Hux leans over to whisper to Ben, "why is he acting so excited?" 

Ben whispers back, "he's one of the best pilots we've ever had, he has really good accuracy when piloting, although that's with help from his droid. So I guess he's impressed, he also likes a challenging people, it's the best explanation I have. Can you really hit a target that far away?" 

"I'll show you, I always get my targets," he sneaks a pinky around Ben's and gets the reaction of the slight pinking of Ben's cheeks that he had hoped for. 

They make it to a empty stale and Poe hands him the rifle. It's a pretty good one, the barrel is heavy and has an advanced telescopic scope. He sets it up and places a target close up to judge the sight and finds it only needs a minor adjustment before it's ready. He sets a target at 500 yards and begins warming up, hitting the target without problem.  

"Set to 800 yards," the target moves and he relaxes before slowly exhaling and firing, hitting the target right on again. 

"Set to 1000 yards," it starts getting a little harder from here but all he has to do is keep himself relaxed and the target is hit straight on again. 

"I'm actually starting to believe you Hux," Poe comments behind him, and Hux is actually enjoying showing off his skills, the academy expected the best and so they didn't reward you for it. 

"Set to 1200 yards," once again he hits the target right on, he turns to slightly gloat at Ben and notices they now have an audience, a few soldiers from the stands next to them have come to watch. He turns back to the rifle and not feeling like gloating anymore. 

He takes a deep breath, "set to 1350 yards," Poe moves the target still further back but he's able to hit it without fail again. 

"Hux are you sure you haven’t had any eye enhancements done?" 

He looks up at Poe amused, "I assure you I have not". 

"Okay well are you sure you're human, are you sure you're not some kind of like really advanced droid, like are you even breathing?" 

"Are you beginning to fear that I'll prove you wrong?" He glances to Ben who is looking just as amused as he is. 

"Don't get cocky, you still have one more target to hit." 

"Alright, set to 1500 yards," he's hit this far of a target plenty of times in the past but not in a while, he's still confident though. He lines the sight up, taking time to relax his shoulders and takes another deep breath and fires on the exhale, the shot hits the mark. He's slightly jolted when the soldiers behind him start clapping, he turns to see there are now 6 other soldiers watching. 

"Alright, alright, you've proved yourself," Poe moves the target back as far as it will go at 1800 yards and then looks back to Hux, "okay hit this target and you can keep the gun, and no helping him Ben," he points a finger at him. 

He sees Ben roll his eyes at Poe and looks to him, "he doesn't need my help, you've got this Hux". 

He's never attempted to hit a target from this distance before, but with the others watching him he feels the need to prove himself, and he wouldn't say no to acquiring a gun like this. He takes his time to line up the shot, the target is nothing but a speck through the scope, luckily the air is calm and he doesn't have to adjust for much. He puts to work what he's learned from the meditation techniques Ben has taught him, he exhales and fires. A sound alerts to let them know he's hit the target, not straight on but it hits. He smiles to himself before lifting his head away to look at a Poe. 

"Alright the gun's yours now," Poe looks exasperated, probably trying to figure out how he's going to explain that he gave a gun away, but Hux is not one to give up his winnings. 

One of the younger soldiers speaks up, "that was really impressive, think you could show us how you do that someday?" 

"Uh yeah, I'm sure I could." 

"Okay show's over guys," he disperses the soldiers, "Hux you have one day to gloat, and then I don't want to hear anymore." 

"I can't promise that."

"Well I've had enough excitement for one day, you two have a good rest of your day." 

"You too Poe, thanks for the gun," he smirks at Poe before can walk off shaking his head. 

Ben turns to him, "I have to say that was pretty impressive Hux".

"Thank you, what did Poe mean earlier by don't help me?" 

"I can manipulate shots, make sure they hit their target, it's especially helpful when firing from a ship. It's a little harder to do when someone else is firing the weapon though." 

"Can you show me?" 

"I can try, bring the target back to 500 yards." 

Hux brought the simulator closer, "alright now what?" 

"Aim away from the target, and fire it," he watches as Ben raises his arm and concentrates. 

Hux aims for behind the target takes a breath and fires, the simulator sounds that the target was hit dead on, "that's amazing, certainly a helpful skill". 

"I guess," he says as he shrugs. 

He stands and slings his new rifle across his back and looks straight to Ben, "I hope one day you'll stop underrating your abilities, you really are remarkable", Ben won't look at him now, "one day you'll believe me, let's go get lunch." 

"In your room again? Guess now I know why you haven't been wanting to eat in the cafeteria." 

Hux walks closer to whisper into his ear, "well I can't kiss you whenever I want in the cafeteria though now can I, unless you want me to stop", he sees Ben shiver. 

"You're such a bully." 

He pulls away, "I won't deny that, let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed this chapter :)


	9. Chapter 9

Hux knew this day was coming, General Organa hadn't asked to see him for about week now after his altercation with Derrik. She had sent him a message this morning simply saying to meet in her office at 1600. He tried to calm himself as he walked to her office, it wouldn't do him any good to think worse case scenarios right now. He took one more deep breath before knocking on her door.  

"Come in."  

He opens the door and tries to gauge her mood but she isn't giving anything away.  

"Hux, thank you for coming in, please have a seat."  

"Of course General what can I help with today?"  

"When it's just the two of us you can just call me Leia," he nods his head and lets her continue, "Poe told me about what happened last week with Derrik, but I would like to hear your side of the story."  

He had been thinking about what to say to her, he wasn't going to try and skirt around what happened, "I wasn't in the best frame of mind when Derrik tried to antagonize me, I let my anger get the better of me and I will apologize for causing a disruption, but not for what I did to him."  

"I see, what did he say to?"  

"He implied my motives about something were ill-natured."  

"About my son correct?", how had she, "Poe heard enough to guess why you did what you did," well then, "you've been spending a lot of time with my son yes?"  

He slightly clears his throat, "I have." 

"And about what Derrik said?" 

"I assure you I have no ulterior motives for being...friends with your son." 

She makes a small sound of confirmation, "I trust you Hux, and that doesn't come easily for someone in my line of work. I can't help but notice a change in Ben since the two of you started hanging out, it's nice to see him smiling again," she pauses, "regarding the time I asked you to follow and talk to him, did he say anything to you?" 

 "He did," the look on her face pleads for Hux to tell her, but he had promised and even though she is his mother he can't break that but he also can't lie, "he did talk to me and told me what was wrong, but I apologize I promised I would not tell anyone, that I would let him tell you when he was ready".  

"I see," he can see tears starting to form in her eyes and he feels responsible but then she lifts her head and smiles and now he sees they're tears from happiness, "I'm glad he's finally let someone in, I feel completely blocked off from him sometimes, and I know I shouldn't burden my problems onto you. Just know that I am grateful for you giving my son a friendship that he can confide in."  

It's more than just a friendship now, and he knows she'll find out eventually but he'll wait until that happens. He simply gives her a reassuring nod.  

"Concerning the fight with Derrik while I don't condone violence here I feel like he brought it on himself. I can appreciate someone who can admit what they've done even if they think they might be punished for it," she steels him with a look," You have knowledge of how the First Order works. Poe told me about your performance on the firing range the other day and I've also heard you're pretty skilled at close combat. I would like to see what you're truly capable of, what skills you could bring to the table."  

"What do you mean?"  

"Hux, I would like to formally recruit you into the ranks of the Resistance, is that something you would be interested in?"  

Hux can't believe it, this is not the direction he had seen this meeting going if he's honest with himself. Of course he had hoped that this might happen one day, when he was much younger he had had a vision of climbing the ranks in the First Order military. But this was different, he wouldn't have to dirty his hands to do it, he wouldn't have to constantly watch his back for someone looking to take his place.  

"I'm honored Leia, if you would have me I would gladly join your ranks."  

"That's good to hear, I was hoping you would say that," she says with a smile, "I've spoken with the other officers and while some voiced their concerns, they all agreed you could potentially be a great asset to our team. After some training with us I would like put you on missions and one day have you eventually lead missions of your own."  

"Thank you Leia Ill prove to you that your trust in me is not misplaced"  

"I am confident that you will," she gives him another big smile, "we'll have an official announcement with the members of my team next week until then," she stands from her desk and puts her hand out for a handshake, he immediately stands to return the gesture. 

 --- 

It's only been a few hours, they haven't had the official announcement yet but he knows he can trust Ben with the news and he needs to tell someone. But as he tells him the news Ben's face shifts from excited to uneasy.  

"That's great," he says but he doesn't look as excited as he sounds.  

"What's wrong?"  

"I...nothing Hux it really is great, it's what you had hoped for right?"  

"Yes, but you're concerned about something aren't you?"  

He takes a deep breath, "what if you're on a mission and someone from the First Order recognizes you. If they're able to take you back, they'll torture you for information...and then they'll kill you."  

"Ben, it'll be awhile before I'm sent on any kind of mission, there's no need to start worrying. I won't be taken either, have faith that I would never let them ever catch me." Ben doesn't look convinced but there's not much he can say, of course any mission is going to have its risk, and he understands his concern. 

"I suppose," he sees Ben glance at the chrono, "well I should-," Ben moves to get up and looks like he wants to leave, but Hux doesn't want to end things on a sour note. 

"Will you stay for a little while longer?" 

Ben mulls it over before saying, "okay". 

"Come here," Hux reaches to grasp Ben's chin in his hand to kiss him. 

They both end up laying on the bed facing each other talking. They talk about how Rey's secret training is coming along. What his home planet of Arkanis was like. The fact that Han has left again on some kind of business. Laugh about whether or not Poe lives in his X-wing now to prevent Ben from "borrowing" it. It gets later and later and soon they're talking less and less. Hux feels himself getting closer to sleep, Ben now tucked underneath his chin and to his chest.  

Ben stirs a little, "Hux it's getting late". 

"Mmmm just sleep here," he says and holds him a little tighter.  

"I...can't, I don't sleep very well."  

"Just stay a little longer," he feels too comfortable to move. 

"Okay, just a little bit." 

\--- 

Hux is woken up, at some point they had both fallen asleep. He opens his eyes to see Ben curled in on himself slightly shaking. He's taken most of the blankets and wrapped himself up in them. Hux hears him mumbling something but he can't make out any words. So this is what Ben had been talking about. He knows he needs to be cautious so he slowly reaches a hand over to put it on Ben's shoulder, "Ben?" he flinches at the contact and curls into the blankets even more.  

Hux sits up and tries to be a little louder, trying still not to startle him, "Ben, it's just a dream, wake up," he hesitates for a moment but then decides to try to shake him awake. There's not much warning before one of Ben's arms fly out and he feels himself being thrown by something invisible. The next thing he knows his back is slamming into wall, his head snaps backwards to make contact and he's seeing stars. He sees Ben open his eyes at the sound and Ben immediately bolts up and throws the blankets off.   

Ben is able to catch him before he completely slumps forward, "I'm...I'm alright".  

"Hux, I'm sorry...ii..ddint mean to."  

"shhhh I know, just lower your voice please," he tries to put himself back into a sitting position, but his vision immediately blurs, he feels dizzy and a little nauseous. He tries to focus but he can't, he more than likely has a concussion, and slumps back into Ben's arms.   

He lets out a small laugh, "I didn't realize you were so strong," immediately regretting it as the laughing just makes the pain in his head pulse.  

"This is nothing to laugh about Hux," Hux can feel Ben shaking but he's knows it's not from trying to hold him up.  

"I think I have a concussion but you can just heal it right?"  

"I've never healed something like that before, can only do small things, nothing so sensitive. We need to go to the medbay."  

"Mmmm in a couple hours, I'm tired," some part of him knew he shouldn't fall asleep. If the impact was hard enough he could have a bleed on his brain, he had enough training to know that. But it was getting hard to focus and keep his eyes open, he just wants to close them for a second.  

"No don't go to sleep, we're going now," Ben's patting his arm.  

He opens his eyes again, "where are we going?"  

"We, we're going to the medbay," he says uncertainly. 

"Oh okay," Ben's still looking at him weird, did he do something wrong, he just wants to sleep.  

He sees Ben grab a pillow and put it behind his back, "don't move". He watches as Ben puts on his boots and runs to grab his by the door. Ben starts putting on Hux's boots and then he's holding a hand out, Hux isn't really sure what to do with it, "give me your hands Hux," he says with a slight sound of worry. 

Hux puts his hands in his , "okay try to stand up slowly."  

Hux was fine he didn't need to go to the medbay, and then the room tilted, okay maybe he did need to go. Ben had picked up his coat and was holding it open for him. He had dressed down to his shorts and a sleeveless shirt, he supposed he didn’t look to presentable at the moment. He slides his arms in and slowly turns back around. Ben's buttoning up the front, his fingers trembling, "you're kind of cute when you're anxious."  

Ben snaps his head up and there are unshed tears in his eyes, "be quiet". 

"It's not your fault okay?" He says as he kisses Ben's forehead. 

"It is my fault," he almost growls in frustration.  

"Let's just go and get this over with," he just wants to sleep. They slowly make there way out of the room and down the hallway, luckily they haven't run into any one yet, everyone else still asleep.  

When they make it to the medbay there's no one there save for the doctor he'd met before. She turns in her chair to look at the both of them wearily, "what brings you here so early boys?" Ben's trying to hide behind him. 

So it's morning, and he may be out of it but he knows when to lie, "I slipped on the refresher floor and I think I might have a concussion," he says and points to his head that is now throbbing, might is probably the wrong word.  

She stands up from her chair and comes around the desk, shifting her body so she could give Ben a pointed look, "okay then, please have a seat and remove your jacket so I can check the extent of the injury". 

Hux sits on the examination table and shrugs his jacket off to hand it to Ben who folds it over his arm. Ben takes seat across the room and fiddles with the buttons of his coat. The doctor approaches him and takes a flashlight to his eyes having him do some motion tests. She then makes him turn around and take off his shirt to see his back. If the sudden pain of her prodding the area and the small strangled sound that comes from Ben is anything to go by the bruising is bad. She gently felt around on his head and he couldn't help but hiss at the pain. She then took a small scanner to see the extent of the internal damage. 

"You have quite an awful concussion, but no internal bleeding," she pulls back, so Hux turns himself back around, she makes a glance to Ben and then leans into say something in a hushed voice, "are you sure you only fell? The tiles are quite hard and it should have just about split your head open". 

Hux was able to think clearly enough to know what she was implying, she was trying to get him to admit that he had been lying, "I said that's what happened."  

She relents, "okay," and then she walks towards a cabinet and removes a few things before coming back to the table, "I'll inject something that will quickly help with the pain, I also have a few pain pills for you to take when you need them. The pain and dizziness from the concussion should go away in a couple of days but no strenuous activities for at least 36 hours. I'm also going to put some bacta pads on your back to help with the bruising". 

"Okay," the doctor put the bandages on first and helps him put his shirt back on, she then injects him with the pain killer and he immediately feels it wash over him. His whole body feels both heavy and light, he feels euphoric and also a little out of it. He sees Ben get up and make his way to him, he couldn't help but smile at him being so nervous, it was endearing. Ben helped him get his jacket back on and as he leaned over him he leaned back to talk into his ear, "you're so cute Ben". 

Ben's quick glare at him makes him laugh but at least this time it doesn't hurt, "don't call me that", Ben whispers angrily and quickly helps button up his jacket. He helps him get down from the table and they both look to the doctor. 

"Thank you Doctor," he says. 

"It's not a problem, but do be more careful next time," she says looking at Ben, who quickly turns and leads them out of the office and back down the hallway. 

Hux feels amazing, but Ben simply looks agitated as they walk, "so cute". 

"I said don't call me that" 

"Sorry darling I meant adorable," and laughs at Ben's pained reaction. 

Ben groans and swipes his hands down his face, "I don't care if you're high on painkillers right now, it's nothing to laugh about. She didn't believe you, she thinks I'm the reason you're injured." 

"I don't care what she thinks, we both know you didn't do it on purpose." 

"It doesn't change the fact that I hurt you." 

"I've had much worse Ben believe me this is nothing. You should have seen the time I first came back home from the academy. I thought I had done so well, but my father quickly reminded me that I should have done better. I knew fighting back was pointless, I had never seen so many shades of purple before," he realizes he's said it as if he's talking about a fond memory and Ben is quiet now. When he looks to Ben he looks like he's the one with an injury, "what?". 

"That's horrible." 

"I was used to it, I didn't mean to make you make you uncomfortable," they've made it make to the room and Hux goes in Ben following behind him, and then takes a seat on the bed. 

"No, it's...I understand no family is perfect." 

He lets out a small laugh, "we're both a little broken Ben. I don't know what's worse a father you can't get away from or a father who's never there". 

Again Ben looks injured, "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that, come here," he pats the space next to him and slowly Ben moves to sit "it's okay to be a little broken, neither one of us will ever be beyond fixing". 

"You say that as if you're so sure." 

"It's because I am," he guides Ben's head with his hand on his chin to face him. They kiss slowly, Hux loses himself in the softness of Ben's lips, his eagerness. He sticks the tip of tongue out to lick across Ben's bottom lip and gets a small gasp as a response. He keeps holding Ben's chin as he opens his mouth a little wider to try and use his tongue to open Ben's mouth. As soon as Ben parts his lips he pulls him harder into the kiss, moving their tongues against each other. He could get lost in this feeling forever, the way Ben lowers his guard only for him. Ben trusts him, he doesn't care about his past, and he's not really sure what he's done to deserve his trust. They break apart to catch their breaths, the air mingling in the small space between them.  

Ben is flushed and his eyes are hooded and it may be the painkillers talking but he's never wanted something more. He doesn't want to stop, but he also won't rush this, he gives Ben one more meaningful kiss, "will you stay until I fall asleep?" Ben nods and he slowly lowers onto his side trying not to put any weight on the back of his head. 

Now that he's laying down he huffs out a laugh, "it won't take long", he feels exhausted. He closes his eyes but opens them again when Ben runs a hand across his forehead to sweep away his hair and then leans down to kiss it. 

"Mmmm that's my move, don't steal it." 

"Go to sleep Hux." 

He's gone before he can even reply. The next time he opens his eyes Ben is still sitting in the bed his back to the wall eyes closed in meditation. He goes back to sleep and the next time he wakes up a few hours have passed and Ben isn't on the bed anymore. 

He slowly sits up and just feels lethargic, sleeping didn't really make him feel better and he feels the start of a painful headache coming on. His shoulders are stiff from the position he was in and the bruising. Before he can even move to stand Ben is there with a glass of water and pain pill stretched out to him. 

He looks up at him, "you stayed?" 

"Someone has to look after you, make sure you don't slip and fall again while medicated," he says with a smirk. 

"Probably for the best," he smirks back as he takes the glass and quickly swallows the pill. 

"I also ordered you some lunch, probably shouldn't take it on an empty stomach." 

He turns to see a sandwich and fruit waiting for him on the table, "what did I do to deserve being spoiled like this?" 

"...besides me throwing you against a wall?" 

"Ben I already said-" 

"I know...sorry it was a bad joke." 

"Okay, I just don't want you blaming yourself, you did warn me you didn't sleep well." 

He fidgets in place, "after you eat will you let me finish healing your back?" 

"Of course," the pads would take longer and he wouldn't be able to change them by himself. 

 

He feels significantly better after eating, he's sitting on the bed again as Ben removes the bacta pads. His hands are slow and gentle, but he can practically feel Ben's uneasiness. He feels the familiar chill as Ben starts healing his back, and he instantly feels the tightness in his back melt away.  

"Thank you Ben, see if I ever get hurt on a mission you can just heal me." 

"I can't bring you back from the dead Hux." 

"I know...let's not talk about this again," he says as he puts his shirt back on, "so since I'm not supposed to doing anything strenuous and I'd rather not sleep all day, have you ever played Dejarik?" 

Hux thinks he should be worried about the smile Ben gives him as he shakes his head yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for reading! :)
> 
> I should have the next chapter up tomorrow, I wanted to break it up a little.


	10. Chapter 10

"So are you going to tell me what happened the other day?" 

He knew she was bound to ask, he knew the doctor would tell her. She's been on the edge of asking for a while now during one of their rare dinners together. 

"I don't need to, I know you think it was my fault," he mutters.

"I'm not going to assume anything until I've heard your side of the story Ben, you should know that," she softens her eyes at him, "will you tell me what happened?" 

"It was just an accident, I didn't want to hurt him," he sets his fork down, his appetite goes away.

"I believe you wouldn't do it on purpose, what were the two of you doing?" 

He tries to keep his face neutral, "we were training". 

"That early in the morning?" 

While it's not all that believable it's all he can think of, "yes". 

"You would tell me if something were wrong, right Ben?" 

"Yes mom," he lies, he can handle this himself. He hears the echo of a voice saying they'll leave him. As long as he keeps all of this to himself they have no reason to get rid of him, "nothings wrong". 

"You know you can tell me if anything is bothering you." 

"I said nothing's wrong," why can't she just feel his discomfort, he can always feel hers, everything she feels. 

"Ben," he feels her desperation. 

"Just drop it okay!" the lights above them flicker, he feels her fear, "I'm sorry".

"It's okay Ben," he feels her worry. 

No it's not, "I'm tired, I'm going to bed". 

"You haven't eaten very much," he feels her concern 

"I'm just not really hungry," he stands and scrapes his plate into the trash before putting it in the sink. He makes his way around the table to go to his room. 

"Ben," he feels her hesitation, he stops but he doesn't look at her. 

"I love you Ben, please don't ever doubt that. You're my son, I'm allowed to worry okay?" he feels her determination mixed with sadness.

"I love you too mom," he feels her relief. 

\--- 

The official announcement is made, Hux stands in front of Leia's officers as she makes it. He tries to keep his face from showing how excited he is. He knows there's still long road ahead of gaining everyone's trust, he'll need to prove himself.  

Hux can see Ben in the back of the room leaning against the wall, an almost forced smile on his face. Poe is standing not too far from him with his mouth quirked in a grin.  

After the announcement is done he goes around to shake a few hands and when he looks back Ben is gone from his spot.  

Poe walks up to him, "welcome to the team Hux".

"I have to thank you Poe, I don't think this would have been possible without your recommendation", he knows he can thank Luke and probably Rey as well.

"You're skilled Hux, and there's no point to having wasted talent around here." 

"Still thank you Poe." 

"No problem," they shakes hands, "well I've gotta be off, training some new pilots this evening. Now if you ever feel like you'd like to get bested at flying an X-Wing you can usually find me in the hangars". 

"Well one can't be the best at everything." 

"True," he laughs out before leaving Hux to resume talking to the other officers. 

 --- 

"Captain Dameron we've got this go get some sleep!" 

"Alright, alright just let me lock the office up," Poe takes another look around the room before switching the lights off and locking the door. 

The others were finishing docking the ships in their spots in the hangars, it was late into the night now. They had done a few new training drills and everyone was advancing well. Jessika could soon be taking his place if he wasn't careful. He walked down the hangar and as he passed an open door he caught movement across the square. Even from the distance he was still able to make out that it was Ben, which wasn't unusual the kid always seemed to be awake. As he continued down the hangar some more movement caught his eye but this time it was three other soldiers coming around one of the buildings and going down the same path as Ben. He was sure he recognized one as being Derrik and immediately had a bad feeling. 

"Pava, finish closing up the hanger!" He looked to the other two, "Dos, Ventra come with me now." 

"What's going on?" Pava yelled across the Xwing. 

"Hopefully nothing," he swore under his breath as he ran across the square and towards where the others had been heading, Dos and Ventra running close behind him. As they neared he started hearing yelling and then silence which couldn’t be good. They rounded a corner and Poe stopped, the other two almost bumping into him. Two of the soldiers were laying limp on the ground while Derrik was standing and clutching his throat. Ben stood across the walkway from him, his arm outstretched towards Derrik. 

"Ben!" Poe yelled and cautiously stepped closer, signaling the other two to stay where they were. 

Ben whipped his head towards him and the anger that had been on his face turned to frightened. He lowered his hand, releasing Derrik from the invisible hold that had been on him. Derrik fell to the ground on his knees, gasping and coughing for air. He quickly gained his composure and hissed out, "you _are_ a monster just like Vader". 

Poe stepped closer as he saw Ben clench his fists, "Ben, he's not worth it, don't listen to him!" 

Ben stood for a moment before turning and taking off behind one of the buildings, "Ben!" 

Poe started running towards where he went but knew he wouldn't be able to catch up with him, he scowled down at Derrik, "you know I shouldn't have to keep breaking up fights between a so called grown man and people less than half his age". 

"Shut up Dameron this doesn't concern you," Derrik spat out as he was trying to stand back up.  

'That's it', he didn't care if the other man was visibly drunk. With as much force as he could Poe spun around and kneed him in the ribs, making him gasp again and hit the ground. Poe bent over and quickly grabbed the blaster from his side and gripped his arm to pull him up, "come on, you're done". 

He was able to get the stumbling older man off the ground and with the blaster pointed to his back got him to walk, "Dos, Ventra, stay with these two until I come back, they should be knocked out for awhile." 

"Yes, Captain, where are you taking him?" Ventra asked.

"To a holding cell until the General can decide what to do with him." 

The man made a growling noise but Poe wasn't having it, "shut up, and don't think for a second I won't disable you with this blaster If you try to resist." 

Slowly but surely Poe walked Derrik to one of the holding cells on base. Usually reserved for the people who were against them, but now he was having to put one of their own men in it. 

"You've really gone too far this time, you're being no better than the scum we fight against," he said right before he sealed the door and locked it with his code. He quickly made it back to Dos and Ventra just before the other two soldiers started waking up. 

He waited until they were fully awake and able to focus, "if you know what's good for you you won't talk about this, I'm giving you guys the benefit of the doubt that Derrik dragged you into it." 

"Yes Captain." 

"Understood Captain." 

"Good, now go before I change my mind," he watched as the two walked away shaking theirs heads. They had probably been knocked out before anything had even happened. 

Poe and the other two made their way back to the hangars, his two pilots looked at him, Ventra speaking up, "what now Poe?" 

"You guys don't worry about it, I'll talk to the General, no one else needs to know what happened tonight, is that understood?" 

"Yes Sir," was said in unison. 

"Thank you, you guys let Pava know I'll finish up here and go get some sleep." 

He went back into the office and sighed before bringing up General Organa's personal home comm line. He put in the number and requested a voice call.  

It wasn't long before the General answered, clearly still working into the night, "what is it Poe?" 

"There's been a situation, no ones hurt bad, but Ben was involved. As far as I could tell he wasn't hurt, but he ran off before I could talk to him. I don't know where he's going." 

"I'll be down there immediately, I would ask you to try to find him but we both know if he doesn’t want to be found it's almost impossible to." 

"I know General, I'll still have a look around for you in the mean time."

"Thank you Poe," she said before ending the call. Poe swiped a hand down his face it was going to be a long night. 

 

\--- 

He should have stayed to congratulate Hux, he knows it was childish,  but he'd left right before the meeting was over. He knows he's being selfish he can't expect Hux to put his life on hold because of his worries. Even if something happened, he was used to being on his own, and he would still be fine on his own. He just didn’t want to think about that possibility. 

He hadn't noticed them coming up behind him, he should have noticed, but his mind had been elsewhere. Now he stood with Derrik blocking his way, two others behind him both feeling apprehensive, while Derrik was overflowing with anger. Ben could tell he'd been drinking too, the smell of it making it obvious. 

"Derrik come on, you're only going to make things worse," one of his friends was yelling behind him. 

"Shut up!" Derrik yelled without even looking at the other soldier, "I spent my youth fighting and watching people I loved get killed in the War. I won't just stand by and let some enemy spy come in here and ruin what the Resistance has worked so hard to get." 

"Hux isn't doing that it's you, just leave me alone," he made to leave.

Derrik just blocked him more, "not only did I lose my position because of him, but now I hear he's been welcomed into the ranks with open arms".

"That's all your fault and if you have a complaint you should just take it up with my mother." 

Derrik let out a forced laugh, "it's sickening to see that his plan of using you to get close to the General actually worked".

"You're lying." 

"Am I?" 

He believes in Hux, but Derrik truly believes that of Hux, "Hux wouldn't do that, I trust him". 

"Really? Why else would anyone willingly associate with someone like you." 

He feels his whole body start shaking, he doesn't want to listen to this anymore, "he wouldn't". 

"Hope you didn't believe he actually cared about you." 

He senses his hands clenching and Derrik starts wheezing. He can see out of the corner of his eye the other two moving towards them and throws the force at them to knock them out and they fall to the ground.  

"How...much..intel.have you...given him to.just to..turn around..and give..to the..enemy?" He says between small gasps. 

"Just shut up!" 

He reaches his arm out and puts more force behind trapping the air in Derrik's lungs.  

"Ben!" 

He whips around to see Poe and immediartely releases his hold, he shouldn't have lost control. He watches as Derrik stumbles on the ground to catch his breath and then, "you _are_ a monster just like Vader." 

He couldn't resist the urge to start clenching his fists again, "Ben he's not worth it, don't listen to him!" 

' _no_ _kill him, show them how powerful you are'_  

'No!' 

He turns to his right and sees an alleyway and moves to start running down it. He knows around the corner there's an older building not being used, he just needs to refocus himself, just needs to push the voice away he can do it. 

He makes it to the building and shuts the door behind him, sliding down the door to sit on the ground. He's momentarily relieved that Poe hasn't followed him. 

He shouldn't have let himself get out of control, he shouldn't have let Derrik's words get to him. He still doesn’t completely understand why he trusts Hux so much, but he does. When he says things will be okay he believes him. He tries to center his mind but he can't find the calming pulse of the Light. He opens his eyes and feels like this avalanche was destined to come, the snow hurtling towards him but there's nothing he can do to stop it now. He's weak for not being able to control his emotions, but Hux helps him center himself and he knows he shouldn't become dependent on that. But what if something were to happen to Hux, he wouldn't be able to do anything about it. What if he accidently hurts Hux again? Hux wouldn't be able to just keep forgiving him and he'll get rid of him. People are already scared of him, and now he's gone and given them every reason to be. Word will get around, they'll know what he did to Derrik. He really is a monster and if they aren't scared of him they're unjustly mad at him or untrusting, why can't people just respect him like they do his family. He wishes he could talk to his family, but what good would it do, they wouldn't understand, they would just get rid of him. 

He hates that he can't fit in with people.... 

he hates feeling so weak... 

he hates that he has no control of his emotions... 

he just hates feeling this way...  

' _your anger is necessary'_   

He flinches, "no.."  

' _you can use it, do what needs to be done'_   

 _"_ Go away!" He can only scream into the empty room, focus he just needs to focus. 

 _'once you let your anger consume you you'll find peace in it'_   

"please just go away," he feels pain and now something trickles down his face. He feels himself stand up, he can't stay here. He feels his feet moving but he's not sure where he's going. 

 _'I won't go away Ben, I'll always be here for you_ _'_  

'just please stop'

 _'_ _I would never let you feel alone'_  

'stop' 

 _'_ _everyone will eventually leave you, but I won't, I'll make stronger'_   

 _'_ they wouldn't...'  but he's not sure. 

 _'you could be apart of something, have your own personal army, be a master in your own right'_   

'no...i don’t...' 

 _'unlimited power at your disposal, whole planets brought to their knees bowing to_ _you'_   

 _'..._ want that'  

 _'you can have control not only of yourself but of anyone who dared to stand_ _in your way'_   

'is that...could I really?'  

His mind is quiet for a beat but altogether too loud. 

 _'join me and we_ _can have people truly fear and_ _respect the name_ _Kylo_ _Ren'_   

That's...his name, he knows it is, he feels happy? 

 _'let_ _the power of the dark side comfort you'_   

 _'..._ yes' 

 _'do what needs to be done and then come to me_ _Kylo_ _'_  

'I wi-" 

His feet have stopped moving, through the haze he sees he's some how made it to Hux's room and it fills him with so much relief that for a moment he forgets how far he's fallen. If he doesn't get up soon he'll be buried under the ice, packed down on top of him and it'll be too late for anyone to find him. He shakes his head to keep focused. He bangs on the door, and suddenly it's open and Hux is there a focal point of calm, an anchor he just needs to grab onto it.  

"Hux"  

\----  

He's startled awake in the middle of the night from frantic knocking on his door. He jumps up from his bed and when the door slides open it's Ben.   

"Hux", he says it almost robotically and quiet like he's not really here.  

Something is clearly wrong so Hux pulls him into the room quickly to shut the door.  

He grips his shoulders, "Ben, what is it, what's wrong?"  

Ben still hasn't raised his head to look at him, but he can see blood drip off of his face and onto the floor. "Where are you hurt? You're bleeding."  

When Ben finally looks up at him it's gut-wrenching, his face streaked with blood and his eyes are distant. When he says his name again it's broken,"Hux help".  

He doesn't know what he's supposed to do, but he doesn't have time to be overwhelmed. He places his hands on Ben's neck, cradling his face, "It's okay Ben, I've got you."  

"Hux he's so angry," it's only a whisper and then Ben is grabbing his head, "no....no," he can see him clawing his nails into his scalp, causing more blood to trickle down, "just leave me alone, I don't want that, I won't".  

"Ben...Ben," he tries to pull Ben's hands away from hurting himself but he won't budge, "look at me Ben, focus on my voice, you're safe".   

"Get out...", Hux starts to feel the air around him pulse, his skin tingles and the lights are starting to flicker. Ben's starting to project the Force he has to do something before this gets out of control.  

He brings himself eye level with Ben, but his eyes are squeezed shut, "Ben open your eyes, look at me, come on," he slowly does and Hux breathes out a sigh of relief. "Ben, focus on me, focus on my voice. Can you do that?"  

Ben shakes his head, more drops of blood fall off of his chin and onto the floor, "okay, remember what you taught me. Focus on breathing, slowly in and out. Try to clear your head, just focus, you can do it."  

Ben starts taking deep breaths in and out, Hux does it with him until they're in a steady rhythm together. "You're doing good Ben."  

Finally Ben lowers his hands from his head and puts their foreheads together, smearing blood on him but he doesn't care. The air around him begins to calm, "i'm sorry...I'm sorry Hux."  

"Don't apologize, what happened?"  

"He was here again, I couldn't get him out."  

"He's gone now though right?"  

"Yes...but Hux...," Ben's eyes glaze over, "I almost believed him, I listened to him what if when he tries again and I can't get away...what if I do something even more horrible?"  

He pulls away from Ben and stands straighter, "what do you mean?" He feels dread creeping in. 

"Derrik, he said some things. I lost control and used the force against him, I am a monster just like he said." 

He pulls Ben to his chest, "no you're not, it's okay, it'll be okay".  

"How can you know that? You're not really just using me right?" He says muffled by his shirt.  

"Don't listen to a damn word he's said, I would never Ben and we'll figure something out I promise, for now let's get you cleaned up alright, we can deal with anything else in the morning," he takes Ben's hand and leads him to the refresher, he's able to get him to sit on the counter while he wets a towel. Ben's face is blank now, but his eyes are focused on his eyes watching him, "you weren't scared of me."  

Hux looks straight into Ben's eyes, it's not a question but he still answers back, "no and I never will be."  

He starts with washing Ben's hands off trying to get the blood out from underneath his finger nails. Next he starts wiping the blood from his neck and chin, and off his cheeks. He wipes off his own forehead before pushing back the hair from Ben's forehead to wipe away the last of the blood. He runs the cloth through his hair trying his best to clean it. He lingers for a moment and then leans in slowly to press a kiss to his forehead.  

Ben had been quiet during the cleaning until now but he sees him break, he clutches onto his shoulders and starts to cry in earnest into his neck. Hux holds his head with one hand and strokes his back with the other. All he can do right now is comfort Ben as he sobs onto him and let him ride it out. After a few minutes Ben slowly starts to catch his breath and starts to relax. He's not sure if he can carry Ben but he tries anyway, he's able to guide Ben to wrap his legs around him. Ben keeps his face buried in his neck and arms wrapped around him as he lifts him and carries him to the bed.   

He sets Ben on the edge of the bed and gets him to let go as he starts to remove Ben's boots. He takes off Ben's outer tunic stained with blood, before guiding him to lay down, he's still slightly trembling, "don't leave". 

"I'm not going anywhere," Hux quickly changes out of his own bloodied shirt and into a new one. He then goes to the end of the bed to slide in and take the side by the wall. Ben turns to lay on his side and face him. Hux pulls the covers to drape over the both of them and immediately pulls Ben closer to hold him against his chest. 

"I'm sorry." 

"Ben I've told you there's nothing you need to apologize for." 

He's not confident whether Ben believes him or not but he has calmed down some. Hux starts stroking his hand through Ben's hair to help lull him into sleep. He feels Ben bury is face closer to him, "I'm afraid Hux". 

"I'm here, I've got you try to get some rest now." 

"You'll get tired of me eventually, everyone does. My own family doesn't even want me. He's told me, he can tell." 

Hux squeezes him, "don't say things like that, don't doubt my feelings for you and I know without question your family loves you, they're just scared of losing you and don't know what to do." 

"I want to believe you're right." 

Hux can't stop from clenching his jaw, something has to be done soon. He won't watch this happen again, the next time might be the last. He'll talk to Ben in the morning, he needs sleep but he also needs help with this. He can understand why Ben hadn't wanted to tell them before, he's afraid they'll reject him. Snoke apparently has him convinced that they're against him. Ben hasn't wanted to let his family in but he's hoping tonight's event will convince him that now is the time to tell them before it's too late. 

It's not too long until Hux feels Ben relax completely and his breaths even out. He stays awake just a little longer until he's unable to keep his own eyes open.   

  

\---  

"Thank you Poe, go get some rest we can handle everything from here." 

"Of course, just let me know if you need anything else General Organa," 

She watches Poe leave and then turns to her brother, "we need to find him Luke." 

"We will Leia, has he done this before?" 

"A few times, but this time it feels worse than anytime before. Did you sense it too?" Whether it's a mothers intuition, strictly the force or a mixture of both she had felt Ben's pain this time. It almost seemed like she could hear him screaming for help, but now it's quiet and that worries her more. 

"I could, but the force seems to be calmer now." 

"He's also gotten better at hiding his presence, even from me. I need to make sure he's alright." 

They had already checked around the usual places Ben would go to hide, his training room being one. They also double checked to make sure no ships had been taken so he was still on the base. They were making there way towards the main building, they would check her office maybe he went there. They both quietly made their way down the hall to her office but he wasn't in there either. She shut the door to her office, sighing as she rubbed a hand down her face when something caught her eye. She stepped closer to get a better look. 

"What is it?" 

"It's blood, but Poe said Ben hadn't been hurt." 

"It looks new though, he must have gone this way." 

Every few feet there were a couple of drops, until they were at the room she had given Hux. There were more drops on the ground in front of the door and they had been smeared.  

She looked to Luke for an answer, "he's in there, I can sense it now, he's asleep." 

"I need to see him, I have to make sure he's really okay." 

"I can hide you, just stay quiet." 

She uses her override code to open the door and she makes her way in. Once she had stepped farther into the room her eyes adjusted and she was able to take in the scene. The two boys were fast asleep, Ben curled to Hux's chest. Hux had an arm tucked under his head and one across his chest. She had suspected that perhaps they were closer to one another than she had first thought. But Ben was safe, he was okay and that's what she really cared about right now. She let out a shaky breath she didn't realize she had been holding, and then turned to leave the room. She left the room with the determination that she wouldn't let this go on any longer. With Luke and now hopefully Hux's help she would learn what has been haunting her son.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for reading! :)
> 
> Derrik is a huge asshole and I don't know why I created him to torture the boys. But he did assist in helping the story line so I can't be too mad at him. He won't get off easy this time though.


	11. Chapter 11

Hux awoke to Ben still sleeping quietly against him, his face slack and breathing even. If he hadn't seen it himself he wouldn't have believed what Ben had gone through last night. He looked over Ben to see the notification light blinking on his datapad on the table, he had a feeling he knew who it was.  

He was able to slide down and off the bed without waking Ben and grabbed the pad. His guess was right, a small message from the General requesting his presence as soon as possible. He hurried to get dressed and make himself presentable. 

He leaned over Ben, "Ben are you awake?" 

"Mmmmm," was the only response he got as Ben moved closer to the wall and pulled more of the blankets over him. 

"I'll be back soon, i'll go get some breakfast, okay?" 

He got another, "mmmm," quieter this time. 

"I'll take that as confirmation," he gives him a kiss to the back of his head before leaving the room.  

He quickly made his way to Leia's office and let himself in, he knew she was waiting for him so he didn't bother knocking. Luke was there with her, both talking before turning their attention to him. 

"Gene-," she gives him a look, "Leia, I'm sure you know something happened with Ben last night?" he takes a seat on a small couch across from Luke and Leia, who were sitting next to each other on another couch. 

"Yes both Luke and I felt it, is he still in your room?" 

Hux felt his face heating up and swallowed hard, "yes ma'm". 

Her face softened at his clear discomfort, "Hux it's fine, I just had to see him to make sure he was okay". 

Hux knew they would find out, he was just hoping it had been in a different way, "I understand, you had every right, he was still asleep when I left". 

Luke looks up to him, "can you tell us what happened?" 

"He came to my room, upset and wasn't very coherent. I don't know exactly what happened before he got there, something to do with Derrik? He started losing control of his powers but I was able to calm him down and got him to go to sleep." 

Luke looks at him expectantly, "he's lost control before, Poe had found him using his powers against Derrik. Do you know exactly why he started losing control of his powers once he was in your room?" 

He took in a deep breath, he'd made up his mind on the way here that he wasn't going to wait for Ben to make up his mind. Things needed to change now, Ben could be mad at him later if he wanted, "It's Snoke, he has some kind of hold over Ben, he's able to talk to him." 

Leia and Luke both looked at each other with a look of dread, Luke spoke to Leia, "every time I've tried to look into Ben's mind to see what was wrong I've always been blocked. I had just thought that Ben was able to completely block me out himself. Even when he was younger, I had thought it was impossible for him to do it but he's always been strong in the Force. It must be Snoke then, he must be keeping us out, it must also be why Master and Father haven't been able to reach him." 

It makes sense to Hux, except the very last part, he'll have to ask about that later. 

"Why couldn't I have sensed this sooner Luke?" 

"Leia it's not your fault, I couldn't sense it either. Snoke must be an incredibly strong Dark Force User." 

Hux chimes in, "I'm sure I can convince him to come and talk to the both of you, especially after last night. I think though that it would be best if he still believes you don't know. Snoke has him convinced that you, his family, will get rid of him." 

"How can he think that, we would never do that." 

"I know, he's just so sure of what Snoke says. I think there's something more, a reason he won't go to the temple to train with you." 

Luke nods in understanding, "I think you're right, he always gets defensive when I would ask him to come back. I believe Ben willingly coming to us will give us and Ben a little power over Snoke. I can help him focus his training on his mental Force powers. After some training he could be able to completely block Snoke out. Ben is more powerful than he knows, Snoke must have realized that, why he wants Ben on his side." 

"I think you're right, for what it's worth," he looks down to the floor, "I know that I don't really understand how the Force works and that I'm pretty much an outsid-."     

"Hux," he looks up to Leia, "if it weren't for you coming here and forming the bond you have with Ben," she paused, "I hate to think what might have happened to him." 

"What's to stop Snoke from still getting him," he can't stop his voice from becoming small and weak like a childs. 

"Now that we know a little about what we're up against we can be prepared, we can help Ben," Luke says with determination in his voice. 

He sees Leia squeeze Luke's hand, "we will," she looks to him, "do you think you could convince him to come to us today? I know it's a lot to ask of you, but I have to believe the Force brought the two of you together, to help him." 

"The sooner we can train him the better, before Snoke can get to him again." 

"I assure I will try," he stands up and they do as well, "I told him I was going to get him some breakfast, so I should get back before he wakes up." 

"We'll be here waiting, thank you Hux," she looks at him with such a tender warmth in her eyes. He feels like he's seen that look from someone before but it must have been long ago because he can't remember from whom. 

\--

He quickly grabs a few things from the cafeteria before making his way back to his room. When he enters Ben is awake sitting on the bed with his back to the wall and knees drawn up. 

"Where were you?" Ben's voice sounds a little accusatory. 

"I said I went to get breakfast," he puts a plate in front of Ben, "here you should eat something," when Ben makes no move to take it from him he sets the plate on the table next to the bed.

"Where else did you go Hux? Please don't lie to me, everyone else already does." 

He can feel Ben wanting to close himself off, "I went to see your mother and Luke, they sensed something happened last night and were worried about you". 

Ben hides his face against his arms and knees, "Ben, I know you hadn't wanted to, but you need to talk to your family about this." 

"It’s because of everything that happened last night right, do you just want to get rid of me too?"   

Hux moves to sit in front of Ben on the bed, "you know that's not how I feel. I don’t like seeing you in pain like this. You know Luke can help you, you need to let him help you train. You don't have anyone you need to prove yourself to, there's nothing wrong with needing help."   

"I...I just...what will they think of me?" 

"We've been through this, you and I both know how much they love you. If they seem scared, they're not scared of you, but rather for you. They're your family you can trust them, I assure you they'll be there for you ."   

Ben looks into his eyes and tears threaten to spill and he can't quite get his voice out, "will you go with me?"   

"Of course, if you want me there I will go with you."   

Ben moves forward to hug him and pushes his face into his chest, "I'm scared Hux".   

"It'll be okay", he knows it will as Hux rests his chin on his head and strokes his back.   

\--

They all sit in Leia's office now, no one having really talked much. He can feel Ben trying to work up the nerve to start talking, Luke and Leia waiting patiently.

Ben turns to him and he tries to give out a sense of calm to try and help Ben's nerves, "It's okay Ben".

Ben looks at Luke and then to his mother, "I really don't know how to explain it to you". 

Luke speaks up, "what has been bothering you Ben, I can tell something as been bothering you for awhile now, please tell us."   

"I...i've never been alone."   

"What do you mean?" Luke asks. 

Ben looks back to him, he gives a him a reassuring nod and puts a hand over Ben's hand that's resting on his bouncing knee.   

"Someone has always been talking to me, I can get him to leave but sometimes it's hard to keep him out."   

"Do you know who he is exactly?" Leia asks, they already know but Ben needs to tell them himself. 

"He calls himself Snoke," Ben whispers and glances around as if he thinks Snoke will hear him and appear.   

Leia looks to Hux for a moment and then says, "what does he say Ben?"   

"He always tells me how strong I could be if I would just give myself over to the dark side of the force, that I could be just as strong as Grandfather someday. Says I need to finish what he started."   

"What do you mean?" Luke now asks. 

"He...he tells me I need to get rid of the Jedi, only then can I be his apprentice. That I need to kill all the new students to prove myself," the admission finally makes Ben crumble, and all Hux can do is grip is hand, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."   

Leia jumps from the couch to pull Ben into her arms, "Ben I'm the one who should be sorry, I should have noticed, I'm so sorry. It'll be okay he can't get to you I won't let him."   

Luke has now stood up and has his hand on Ben's shoulder as Ben cries onto his mother's shoulder, "Ben it's not your fault, this is not something you'll face alone anymore". 

He can only sit and watch, he's not family so he feels out of place here right now. Leia looks at him though and silently thanks him. Ben takes his face away from her shoulder and she takes her hands to wipe away the moisture from his cheeks. Ben sighs and then looks at him, he smiles and Ben smiles back at him. He's so happy he was able to convince Ben to do this and knows it was no easy feat. Both Leia and Ben stand up and hug each other before Ben hugs Luke and then walks over to him.  

He stands up himself and Ben walks over to hug him too, he wraps his arms around him. Ben pulls himself away a little bit to smile up at him again and Hux smiles too,"you did great," he says before putting a kiss to Ben's forehead. He's lost in the moment before he looks up at Luke and Leia standing behind Ben and they’re both looking back at him. He feels his face go red before he steps back from Ben a little bit.   

His mother speaks up again, "Ben I think now would be a good time to tell you the full story about your grandfather".  

\-- 

Luke had decided the sooner they left the better to return to the Jedi Temple on Yavin IV. Luke was busy finishing packing everything up and stocking the ship with new supplies for the Temple, Leia was talking to Rey. Hux just stood near the ship while they waited for Ben to finish gathering his things.  

They had all agreed it would be best for him to stay at the temple the whole time, it would give him the push he needed to get as strong as quick as possible. They would still be able to communicate through emails, it would be hard but it would be worth it in the end. He needed to stay here and do his own training with Leia and the other officers.

Luke stepped down the ramp and walked towards him, "Luke I just need to say that it took a lot of convincing to get him to do anything of this. I know you'll keep him safe. But if you try to break us apart because of some Jedi philosophy about attachments I swear I'll-"   

He's cut off by Luke taking him into a firm hug, "Hux I can't thank you enough, you don't have to worry about that. If it weren't for you, who knows what path Ben would have taken, I'm grateful."   

Oh, he hadn't been expecting that, "okay," Luke pats him on the shoulder before releasing him from the hug and walking to Leia to take Rey from her. They make their way towards the ship and stop to stand at the base of the ramp, Rey waving goodbye so he waves back to her.    

He hears footsteps behind him and turns to see Ben coming up, a bag hanging off his shoulder. He's glad Ben is going but sad to see him leave, they're not sure how long this training will take but he'll have to stay until he's able to completely keep Snoke away.  

Ben comes to stand in front of him and he's clearly upset and won't look at him, "Ben I know this will be hard, but you know it will be worth it in the end, and I'll be here waiting for you when you come back." Ben looks up at him so he tries to give him his most reassuring smiles.   

"I know Hux, I'll show you how much stronger I can become without his help," he can see the determination in his eyes now.  

"I don't doubt that," he reaches into his pocket to get something he had meant to destroy when he got here but he's glad he kept it, "I have something to give you". He pulls his hand from his pocket, a chain holding his dog tags from the academy. Accidents had always been bond to happen there so they had been required to wear them for identification of the bodies.   

He puts it over Ben's head and it settles against his chest, "keep this on as a reminder that even though I'm not there I'm still supporting you," he watches Ben pick up one of the tags to read it, "and I guess it's only fair you should know my full name as much as I loathe it."  

Ben rubs a thumb across it, "Armitage Wilhuff Hux".  

"I really detest my first name, my father only used it as a some kind of punishment, though my middle name is no better, named after-"  

"Tarkin," Ben says as he looks up from the tag, "he commanded the DeathStar alongside my Grandfather".

"Yes, it's a constant reminder to not only myself, but for everyone else of where I came from. I'm sure it would be an even more unpleasant reminder to your mother."  

Ben shakes his head, "she doesn't want to forget, my middle name is Bail. Named after the father that raised her on Alderaan," he slides the tags underneath his shirt.  

He could stand here forever talking but he knows they can't keep stalling, "it's time to go Ben," he leans in a little closer to him,"I know your uncle and mother are nearby but is it okay if I give you a kiss goodbye?"   

Ben immediately turns red but gives his head a slight nod while smirking, "yes, Wil".  

He hesitates, he's always hated his name, but he likes the way that sounds when it comes from Ben, "you know I might actually come to like that," he wastes no more time to put Ben's face in his hands and bring him into a kiss. He forces himself to keep it short so Ben doesn't die of embarrassment. When he pulls away the blush that Ben had before has moved up to his ears as Ben glances at Luke and Leia.    

"You'll be sure to message me to keep me updated right? It doesn't matter what time it is here," he sounds like a mother hen but he doesn't care.

"Yes, Wil," he says it like an endearment.

He smiles, yes he could really get used to that.

Luke raises his voice from the ship, "time to go Ben".

They both walk towards the ship, Ben stops to give his mother one last hug. Hux keeps standing next to Leia as they both watch everyone board the ship and close the ramp.

He watches quietly as the ship takes off and leaves the atmosphere. Before coming here he had really never known what it was like to need someone and them need him in return. He can't pinpoint when it happened but he's gone soft, he already feels lonely. 

There's a hand on shoulder, "come on Hux, we can't let ourselves worry, let's go find something to distract ourselves". 

"What happened to Derrik?" that could be a great distraction, also a good way to release some pent up anger.

"It was...suggested to him that he leave permanently and not remember the location of our base."

Jedi tricks Hux presumes, he wishes he could have personally seen to his leaving.

All that's behind him now, he'll focus his time now on getting stronger too. He'll train himself to be ready for anything, to be worthy of being one of Leia's officers.

 

  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you so much for reading, I apologize for the longer than normal wait for an update, writers block had a firm grip on me lol...along with Pokemon Go...I may have a problem T^T
> 
> I had most of this chapter lined out when Hux's first name came out, I decided to use it but also keep the name I had originally come up with for Hux too.
> 
> Things we'll move a little faster from here on out, I wanted to take my time on establishing Hux and Ben's relationship and make it not seem too rushed. I plan on continuing this story through the events of The Force Awakens with a clear ending in mind, with helpful time skips to get there. I hope you enjoy where I take this story and continue to enjoy it.
> 
> Until next time!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time skip!!! Enjoy

Hux stands waiting outside near the hangars, it's been almost three years since Ben left. It has been difficult, sometimes time went by quickly other times it dragged on. He missed Ben, and although they had talked frequently through messages back and forth it didn't feel like enough. He couldn't tell Ben that though, he'd want to come back. Ben didn't need his training to be interrupted by anything until he was able to completely rid himself of Snoke and strengthen his powers. 

It's later in the evening so not many people are out and around. It's also in the middle of what D'Qar considers it's winter. This part of the planet doesn't get much snow but it still gets almost unbearably cold. He huddles into his coat that's over his light green jacket uniform he now wears regularly. His coat has gotten shorter, for all the growing Hux has done it had just been in height unfortunately. No amount of his own training he had been doing could change his wiry figure. 

He watches as a ship comes through the atmosphere and lands. He waits where he is as the ship shuts off and the ramp lowers. A large hooded figure begins making it's way down the ramp, had someone come back with Ben, he hadn't mentioned it. He studies the man as he walks closer. Then he starts recognizing the gait and the almost still too long limbs even through the cloak.  

'Ben?' he thinks.  

"Yes?" the voice is deeper. 

'You can hear me?' he was sure he hadn't asked that out loud. 

"Yes" and now he could he can hear the amusement in Ben's voice. Ben makes a gesture with his hand and the ramp of the ship goes up. As Ben gets closer he removes the hood of his dark brown cloak and smiles at him, Hux feels his breath stutter. 

"You've learned some new tricks I see?"  

Ben laughs, "if you want to call them that."  

Ben's voice is so much deeper than he remembered. Now that Ben is standing in front of him he can see that he's also taller than him by a couple of inches now. His shoulders are broader and the air around him feels stronger and more controlled. The two of them simply stare at one another for a moment before Hux feels Ben take his hand in his. Ben's hand now covers his with it’s size and warmth.  

"I've missed you Wil."  

He smiles at the name he hasn't heard since Ben left, "and I missed you Ben."  

Ben is no longer the awkward teenager that hunched his shoulders to appear smaller. The man in front of him now holds his back straight and his stride had been confident.   

"You've changed a lot while you were away". 

Ben smiles again, "yes, for the better I hope. I became stronger just like you said I would," Ben lifts a hand to his forehead to brush a strand of hair away from his eye, his face shifts to concern, "you're exhausted though". 

Hux unconsciously closes his eyes at the contact, brief as it was, it was so warm against the cold air. He is tired, he doesn't remembered when he slept last. Once Ben had let him know he was coming back he'd been distracting himself to make time go by faster. He had lost track of time like he had wanted, but it had backfired. Sleeping just hadn't been coming as easily to him since Ben left, which was unusual at first. 

Once he knew Ben was coming back though it had only further pushed forward how lonely he'd actually become after Ben had left. He had been alone most of his life, he knew how to do it. Everyone here was making him feel a part of something, he was getting along with the other officers. It hadn't helped the lingering emptiness he had felt when Ben left though. 

 Ben brings his hand up to rest on his cheek, "I'm here now". 

"He's really gone?" he has to ask.

"Yes, he can't get to me now, I promise." 

He breathes a sigh of relief, "good, so you can read thoughts now, not just emotions?"  

"Yes, I can. I block out most of the noise around me, but with you I don't seem to want to," Hux feels defeated, what could he even do to against it, "you're also making it too easy, so unguarded around me. With a little more practice I'll be able to project my thoughts to someone as well".  

"Well then," he doesn't have much to say about that.   

"I want to kiss you Wil," it's said almost all at once.

Hux looks at Ben confused, he said it as a statement but was he asking permission? It's not like they hadn't done it before. He notices Ben slightly fidgeting in place, ah so he's nervous.  

Ben hesitates, "am I still someone you would want to ke-"  

"Shut up Ben," Hux takes a hold of the front of Ben's robes and pulls him in for a kiss. To think this idiot would have thought that Hux would want him less after arriving back is ridiculous. The kiss is slow, both of them adjusting to the change at being at an opposite angle.  

They both pull apart, "I'll take that a yes?", and Ben takes a step closer to him. He slips his hood back on and steps even closer still, until both of their faces are hidden underneath it. White air leaves their mouths and circles around them, until Ben puts his mouth on his again and the air is taken away from him. Ben's mouth is so warm and open, more sure. He knew anyone walking by would know what they were doing but he doesn't care. It feels like they are in their own world with the hood blocking everything else out.  

When they break apart their breaths are now pure white against the cold air and he can't suppress a shiver. 

"Let's get out of the cold."  

"You don't need to go see your parents?" Han had been back for a few months now.

"Mom knows I'm here, I'll see them tomorrow."

"Okay, this way, my room has moved."  

Once he had been promoted they had moved him to a new room, it was about the same but he was given new equipment, a bigger desk and bed.  

As they make their way to his room Ben keeps his hand on his lower back. He can feel the heat blossoming from the touch through his clothes. Ben is now more built than Hux ever thought was possible. He had to have been eating better and working his body everyday. He glances sideways to look at Ben's face in the light. His skin is even healthier looking, tanned from training outside, so handsome. No, he needs to keep himself in check Ben doesn't need any added pressure. He probably needs his space, to get comfortable being here again, with him again. 

Ben walks with such confidence and strength now though and Hux loves the feel of it. He tries to imagine what his body would feel like against his. He wants to feel his warmth and touch every new muscle on his body and- 

"Careful Wil," Ben whispers against his ear.  

He jumps slightly, "what?"  

"You are thinking rather loudly." 

'Oh, right' he feels his face heat up and Ben gives a small laugh, he just glares back at him no real malice behind it. 

Hux opens the door to his room and Ben follows him in and the door slides shut. He turns to show Ben around the new room, but Ben has already thrown his hooded coat to the floor and is making his way toward him. With a quiet ease he removes Hux's coat and folds it in half to lay across a chair. Ben looks back to him with a calm face and for once Hux feels like he is the one with no control of his emotions.  

He gasps as Ben grabs the front of his shirt and pulls him into another kiss. This one is harder and faster than the first ones. Ben wraps a hand around the back of his neck and pushes them harder together.   

They make their way towards the bed and stop before dropping onto it. Hux puts his hands over Ben's belt and looks to him for a sign that it's okay to keep going. They had never really seen each other without clothes on before. 

Ben nods his head, his face now flushed red and the familiar shy teen is showing itself. Hux slowly undoes Ben's belt and then the sash underneath. His outer tunic comes apart and he slides it down and off of his arms. He put his hands underneath Ben's undershirt and spreads them flat out on his stomach. Ben tenses and Hux can now feel the new muscles as proof of how hard he has been training. He continues up to his chest, over his shoulders and then back down along his back. He grabs the hem of the shirt and then pulls it off over Ben's head and puts a kiss to his chest.   

He slowly guides his hand back down Ben's chest and slides it past his stomach to palm Ben through his pants. He bites his lip, a bit surprised to see how hard he already is, but they are young and he feels his own arousal pressing forward. 

"Wil."

"Yes?" he looks up at Ben's face as he continues to palm him through his pants, Ben's eyes are half closed and his breaths come quickly.  

"Your clothes..mmm...need to come off too," Ben takes his hand away and kisses it before removing his belt and starting to unzip his jacket. It's quickly stripped off along with his undershirt. It's his turn to feel shy now as he turns his face away, he hasn't grown like Ben has. He has muscles but they only make him look lean and slender. With one of Ben's hands now on his waist he feels Ben's hands could probably wrap completely around him with ease. Ben puts a kiss to his temple and whispers against it, "you're beautiful Wil," and then turns his face back to start kissing him again. He supposes as long as Ben thinks that, "you are".  

He whispers against Ben's lips, "I don't know if I like your new skill," Ben just smiles against him. 

They help each other get their boots off and both sit on the bed. Hux looks at Ben letting his new appearance sink in. Ben just sits there as he lets him look him over, his eyes wander from his stomach, to his chest and then back to his face, Ben's eyes on his watching. 

Hux lets out a small laugh, "what is this?" and slides his fingers down a small braid that lays on Ben's shoulder and lets his hand rest on Ben's thigh. 

Ben rolls his eyes, "it's a Jedi tradition apparently. It shows others that I'm still in training under a Master. Padawans usually shave their heads too, but I was able to convince Uncle Luke to let me keep it long on the top. My grandfather and his and Luke's Master Kenobi said it had significance." 

"What do you mean, you make it seem like you have talked to them personally." 

"There's a lot I didn't get to talk to you about, but we can talk about everything later. Hmmm?" Ben looks down to his hand he hadn't realized he'd been running up and down Ben's thigh. 

"Sorry," but Ben just puts his hand over his before he can take it away. 

"No, it's okay," he reaches over to kiss him again. 

"I missed you," he knows he's already said it but. 

"I find it hard to believe sometimes, I feel like I was only a hindrance to everyone here," he lightly squeezes his hand. 

"You shouldn't you made..make me feel happy. I've never felt truly happy, even at my old home. I feel like I belong, it's hard to explain, do you believe me?" 

"Yes, I can feel your emotions stronger now than ever, it's almost overwhelming," Ben moves himself closer to him, "I feel the same, I know my family cares about me, but it feels different with you," Ben moves even closer, hand now on one of Hux's thighs moving up, "I want the same thing as you, can I?" 

"Please," and then their lips are crashing together again, both their hands familiarizing themselves with each other's bodies. 

Hux takes Ben's face in his hands, "Ben I... I love you," Ben stills for a moment and he feels like he's said the wrong thing. 

Then he feels Ben's lips smirk against his, "I know, I love you too Wil," his name, the name Ben gave him, he keeps saying it and it feels so comforting. The name Ben gave him will always make him feel warm. 

\--- 

Wil's emotions are pouring out of him, and he hasn't felt something this strong before. He knew the moment they first kissed again what Wil felt for him. To hear the words out loud though makes something click inside his mind.  

He pulls Wil into his lap, and of course he's never done anything like this before, but he thinks he understands the basics. He moves his hands according to Wil's emotions, noticing every hitch of breath as he trails his fingers across his body. He starts to unbutton Wil's pants and the gasp he makes as he slides a hand under the fabric is all the confirmation he needs.  

Wil wraps his arms around his neck and his breath is steady against his throat. He starts running his hand up and down Wil's length, and he feels his pleasure as his own. 

He swallows hard, it's so warm and firm under his palm, he almost can't believe he can make someone feel like this. He never saw this in his future, someone wanting him like this, but Wil is here and he wants him too. 

"Ben, I have something," Wil gestures to the desk drawer next to his bed. Ben can make out what he's talking about, reaches towards it and pulls the bottle into his hand. 

Wil smirks and then takes it out of his hand and sets it aside. He reaches for his pants before he can say anything. 

"Together," Wil guides him out of his own pants and now has him in his hands, he sees Wil swallow hard, "Ben you're..." 'quite large'. 

"That's...okay right?" 

Wil makes a small smile and nods his head, "yes, here give me your hand," he then takes the bottle and pours some of the liquid onto his hand, taking one of his hands and doing the same. 

He watches Wil rub the liquid in his hand and does the same, "you've done this before". 

"Only alone, never with anyone else," Wil gives him a quizzical look, he must look lost and here it comes, "you've done this before right, by yourself at least?" 

He lowers his head and gives a quiet no. 

"Never? Is it allowed for Jedi, I mean I don't..." 

"No, no, it's okay. It's...I've always lived with force sensitive people it'd be awkward. I just never had the desire to do it before anyways." 

"That's okay, I'll show you," Wil takes his hand to wrap back around him. With his hand over his he moves his hand up and down, gripping tighter on the way down and Wil starts gasping again, "just like that okay?" 

He nods, he'd do anything to keep hearing him make those sounds. Then Wil's hand is on him, and he never knew he could feel something so good. Wil's movements are more sure and he tries to match them. He pulls Wil in for a quick kiss before putting their foreheads together.  

"It feels good?," he knows but he wants to hear it, "will you tell me?" 

"It feels so good Ben, I promise. Try to squeezing just a little harder." 

Ben tightens his grip and Wil is arching against him moaning, he stills his movements for a moment. 

"Don't stop please, keep going." 

He pushes Wil's hand away and he's confused for a moment before he takes both of them in own hand. The pressure is different, the sliding of the both of them together feels amazing. Wil's mouth is now on his neck, kissing and sucking down to his throat and chest. He starts doing the same to Wil's chest, more and more noises falling from him. He keeps moving his hand in a steady rhythm and he can feel a pressure building for both of them. 

He finds Wil's neck to place a bite where his shoulder meets his throat. That's all it takes and Wil is coming on the both of them, moaning into his neck. He feels the shutter of pleasure go through Wil's body, it hits him hard and he comes right after him. It's like nothing he's ever felt before, he vaguely registers the lights flickering above them.  

"Ben?" he noticed too. 

"Sorry 

"S'okay," they're wrapped around one another, breaths slowing and he can feel Wil's mind going still. 

"Wil, you want to rinse off?" he knows he doesn't like being dirty, and Wil's body is fighting between sleep and annoyance at needing to clean himself up. 

'Yes' 

Even in his head Hux's voice sounds tired, "come on before you fall asleep". 

"You just got back, I don't want to go to sleep," he squeezes his arms tighter around his neck. 

"Well what you want and what your body and mind wants are two different things right now," 

"Alright, quickly then." 

"Yes Sergeant," he quickly stands and picks Wil up into his arms. His reaction is a mixture between embarrassed and grateful. 

They quickly rinse and dry off, stealing kisses between the movements. He goes to grab Wil some clothes to get into but he's already under the covers before he can give them to him. 

'Don't care...tired' 

Ben slides in next to him under the covers and pulls Wil close to him against his chest. The last time they were in a bed together the positions were reversed but he doesn't seem to mind. He's never seen Wil like this before though, he had always been the one not getting enough sleep. 

"When was the last time you slept?" 

"Mmmmm don't know, before you sent your last message." 

"That was two days ago."

"Oh...I don't make it a habit," he mumbles as he pushes his face into his chest. 

He can tell Wil is lying, he can hear him thinking about the multiple times he's done it since he's been gone. 

"Okay goodnight." 

"Night..."  

It doesn't take long before Wil's asleep, and he follows quickly behind him.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you so much for reading and for all your lovely comments!!
> 
> They'll have some catching up to do in the next chapter. Wanted to give them a nice reunion in this one ;)   
> and yes I imagined Ben taking off his cloak in a very similar way to Kenobi's dramatic entrances lol
> 
> You can find my tumblr [Here](http://ragingsolo.tumblr.com/)


	13. Chapter 13

When Hux wakes up he feels better than he has in awhile and stretches himself out on the bed. He reaches over and the space next to him is empty and for a split second he thinks it was simply a dream. Then he hears the water running in the refresher and relaxes for a moment before sitting up.  

 He sits in bed for a little while before getting up and getting dressed in his usual clothes, waiting for Ben to get out. Brown slacks and olive green uniform jacket. He supposes the first thing they should do is go see Han and Leia. They really should have done that last night, but he assumes Leia will understand.  

Ben finally leaves the refresher in just his pants, opening the door and filling the room with steam. Once Ben turns to face him he can't hold back an, "Oh shit Ben," Ben quirks his eyebrow, he never really used to cursed before. He's picked up the habit after spending so much time with the soldiers here. He reaches over and places his hand on Ben's neck. 

"Yeah you uh left a couple of marks," Ben smirks down at him. 

"I can see that now," he runs a finger underneath Ben's jaw to mark number one and then glides it down his neck counting 5 marks total. 

"Have you looked at yourself?" 

He checks himself quickly in the refresher mirror, "yes but they're all well below my shirt line," which he's somewhat thankful for, "you should heal yours". 

"I could, but I don't want to." 

"We're about to go see your mother and father." 

"I'll just cover it up with something, it's cold outside anyways. Besides, I don't care if you don't." 

"Alright," he can't argue because he doesn't want to get rid of his either, "I'll just be more careful next time about where I put them". 

"That sounds like a promise," Ben kisses him. 

"Because it is," he leans down to place another bruising kiss onto Ben's collarbone. The bruises almost look like a constellation now, "get dressed, I'll show you what I've been working on while on the way". 

"Here," Ben puts a hand in his pocket to pull out the dog tags he'd given him. 

"I gave those to you for you to keep," he closes Ben's hand around the tags. 

"I had thought that maybe you might want them back." 

"They're yours now, now let's get going." 

Once Ben is dressed in what Hux would call Jedi casual with his huge brown coat, they start to make their way out the door, "wait," Hux moves to grab a grey scarf from his dresser and then wraps it around Ben's neck. He can't help but huff out a laugh at how conspicuous it looks on him. 

"Yeah not conspicuous at all," Ben laughs too. 

'Can you hear me?' 

"Yes, why?" 

"Just testing, it's still strange to me. Why can't you talk back like this?" 

"I want to make sure I have complete control before trying to do it. If I'm not careful it could be painful, especially with those who aren't force sensitive." 

"I see." 

On the way out of the building, he takes Ben through one of the main control rooms. 

"Let me show you something," he brings up a few maps that are dotted, "we've managed to locate a few of the First Orders trading sites with some suspicious activity". 

He zooms in on a couple of them, "they're far into the Unknown Regions. We believe BlasTech Industries and Merr-Sonn Munitions is going through a company called Sonn-Blas Corporation. It's obvious they're making weapons and equipment for the First Order. If that's the case both are violating the Galactic Concordance. 

"There's not much illegal activity we can pinpoint yet so we're forced to sit and monitor. If we ever want to take this to the Republic Senate we have to have concrete evidence. We should be able to raid some shipyards in the future and bring them in for questioning." 

He thinks now that Ben could one day be able to extract any information they needed. If Ben could learn to completely read minds then there wouldn't be a need for torture if he could do it. He knows what kind of torture techniques the First Order might use. He knows first hand what that does to a man, he'd been forced to practice them in front of his instructors. He knows he probably shouldn't think about using the Force in such a way but... 

"I think using the Force could be a good idea, the way of the Light is to use it for knowledge and defense. And you did what you had to do at the time Wil," he gives him a reassuring smile. 

"I've also been training a group of a few younger recruits, they're enthusiastic, to say the least. Most have family who fought in the War that also don't believe what's left of the Empire will honor the treaty.  I'm using what I learned from the academy to devise effective countermeasures. Leia and I agree we should test the results with the newer recruits before trying it on a larger scale." 

They leave the main command room to make their way outside. Hux can't help but notice people doing a double take at Ben.  

"To be honest some are just wondering who the new guy is." 

"Well, I suppose you do make quite the imposing figure now in your new Jedi robes. Oh, I've also been teaching a few people sniping skills privately." 

"You've been keeping yourself busy." 

"I couldn't let you be the only one getting better and stronger could I?" He takes hold of Ben's hand. 

"I guess not," and Ben squeezes back. They're still holding hands as they make their way past the hangars. 

"Ben! Hux!" 

He can tell It's Poe, he makes to let go of Ben's hand but Ben doesn't let him. 

Poe comes sauntering up with the same goofy grin that's always on his face. He looks down at their hands and his smile just gets bigger, "is that how it is? I mean I had my suspicions." 

"Shut up Poe. What I and Wil do is none of your business." 

Poe's face hardens, "oh so you think you're some kind of big tough guy now. Think you can go off on some secret training for a couple years and then come back and order people around?" 

Ben lets go of his hand now and walks close to Poe, Hux feels like he needs to do something. Ben stands right up to Poe looking down at him and the size difference now is almost laughable, "yes I do actually". 

Hux feels like he should intervene somehow but the Poe smiles and claps a hand on Ben's shoulder and Ben just smiles back, "good, nice to see you grew some confidence while you were away. It's good to have you back Ben." 

"Thanks, Poe," Ben backs up to stand next to him again. 

"I'm so confused as to what just happened." 

"I could tell Poe was being full of shit," he smirks at Poe, "even more so now," he whispers to him. 

"Hey watch your mouth Ben, and I'm never full of anything," Poe crosses his arms over his chest. 

"Please, you never take anything seriously, unless it involves your precious ship." 

He points a finger up at Ben's face, "that's only partially true. I actually got a few new ships while you were away. Let me know when you wanna try them out." 

"I wouldn't want to embarrass you, Poe." 

"We'll see about that, I'm the best pilot in the Resistance." 

"Are you now? If you say so, see you later," Ben waves as they walk away. 

"Bye Poe," he waves as well. 

"See you later Ben, later Wil." 

Hux turns to yell at Poe walking off, "only Ben's allowed to call me that!" 

"Whatever you say Wil!" Poe yells without turning around. 

Hux sighs, "I want to hate him sometimes, but I find it impossible to." 

"I assure you you're not the only one." 

 

\--- 

They make it to his house and almost before he can get the door fully open his mom is up and to the door. 

"Ben!" his mom rushes to hug him and he can basically pick her up into his arms. He decides rather lean down and hug her. Both his dad and Wil hang back in the living room discussing something. 

"Luke has been sending me messages alongside yours, you've been doing so well," she hesitates, "you haven't had any problems?  He hasn't been able to get to you?" She whispers the last part. 

"I promise mom, nothings getting in here again," he hugs her tight before looking at his dad. 

He walks over to him and Han gives him a half smile, he's guarded, "hey son you look good". 

"Thank you," they're both thinking this is awkward. 

"Listen, I'm sorry I wasn't there to see you before you left to train with Luke," his dad shuffles to lean on each leg, he feels guilty. 

"I know," he uses the line his dad likes to use and smirks at him to ease the tension. 

It works and Han squeezes his shoulder, "it's good to have you back" 'so proud of you son'. 

Even though he doesn't say the last part out loud he feels like he wants to cry. They hadn't always had the best relationship. He knows now that his dad was only ever scared because he didn't understand, not like his uncle or mom did. The force was/is still a strange concept for him to completely grasp. Ben knows now how hard it must have been having a kid who could shake the whole house when he got upset.  

"Glad to see you and Hux are still friends and getting along too." 

Ben looks to Wil and Wil pushes a thought to him 'I guess he doesn't know then, I thought he had just been actively avoiding the topic' 

There's no point in keeping it a secret. He smiles at Wil then turns to his dad, 'Ben what are you-' 

"We're together actually." 

His dad quirks an eyebrow at him before he turns to face Wil and Wil looks away crossing his arms over his chest, looking like he's ready to run. 

'Curse the maker Ben, well I guess that's one way for him to find out, why don't you just take the scarf off and let him and your mother see my dirty work from last night too' 

Ben huffs out a laugh that makes Wil look at him again, 'don't, that was a joke, I'm not sure how well sarcasm is interpreted through this' and makes a small hand gesture to the air. 

"He doesn't care Wil." 

He sees his mom out of the corner of his eye look at him and then to Wil. 

"That's...yeah I mean Hux is a good kid and you two are free to do whatever you want." 

"See?" 

Wil shrugs his shoulders, 'I suppose this is better than some kind of awkward family dinner where we sit around and you announce it' 

He sees his mom crease her eyebrows, "are...you and Hux talking to one another?" 

They all look at him. Of course, she would pick up on it in a heartbeat, she's good at reading people. She was far more in tune with the force than she let on sometimes. He wasn't really ready to have this discussion, it was bad enough when they knew he could read their emotions. He could tell they had always tried to be so careful around him, less they set him off.  

He turns to her, "no not really, I can kinda read thoughts now. Just the ones in passing I haven't quite mastered how to project my thoughts yet. Even with Uncle Luke and the other Padawans, I'm not confident enough to do it yet." 

"I see." 

"I can block people's thoughts out too, though, so I won't try to pry so please don't worry about it..." 'I promise, please don't avoid me, don't be scared of me' he wants to say. 

"Ben, come here." 

He hesitates but gets closer to her, having to really crane his neck down to look at her. There are tears in her eyes, she...she couldn't have heard him.  

'Did you? Can you?' He pushes to her. 

She hugs him again her face resting on his chest, 'I hear you Ben, I guess it's because I'm your mother and so our connection through the Force is stronger.' 

'That...makes sense.' 

'You're my son, I love you and I would never be scared of you okay?' 

'I'm just sorry, I'm so sorry for everything I put the two of you through' for some reason it's easier to tell her these things like this.  

'Shhhh it's okay Ben that's all behind us now' 

She takes his face in her hands, "I'm so proud of you". 

He can only nod his head. Wil is watching them concerned. 

'You two should take the ship and go to Naboo for a few days' 

'Why? But I just got back' 

'I know, but I think it would be good for the both of you." 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes, but since when do you need my permission?" 

"Aren't there things here I should be doing while I'm here?" 

"There will be plenty of time in the future for those things, take this time to go enjoy something." 

'You were both forced to grow up too fast. You have more training to do with Luke soon too right? Does Hux know yet?' 

'No, not yet' 

"Then go, enjoy your time together before you go back." 

"What's happening?" Wil is now really worried. 

"We're going to Naboo for a few days." 

"For what?" he looks to his mom, "General, is there something important we need to do there?"  

"No Hux, nothing like that. I think the both of you should be able to relax and enjoy yourselves. I was able to when I was younger." She looks at his dad and they both smile and he makes a point to block out whatever both of them are thinking about. 

'He's going to argue' 

She smiles, 'then don't leave any room for arguing son' 

"But aren't there are more pressing matters I should be-." 

"We're going Wil, sorry it's not up for discussion." 

"But I-" Wil makes an exasperated face and turns to Han as if he can help him argue. 

His dad just rolls his eyes, "don't look at me kid you'd better get used to it. Once a Skywalker makes their mind up about something there's not much you can do about it". 

\--- 

The next day they fly to Naboo, he still wants to argue about why this is necessary. 

They land in Theed and leave their shuttle in the docking bay. Once they're docked they're greeted by someone who takes them to the hotel where they'll be staying. He thinks it's unusual but Ben doesn't seem to think anything of it. Ben also doesn't make anything of the room they're led to like he should.   
 

"What kind of room is this!?" It's too extravagant is what it is. It's basically one large room with a huge bed on the left wall, the wall to the right opens up into a huge refresher. The far wall is made mostly of large glass windows and a door leading to a balcony. Everything has gold embroidery, paintings on the wall, and decorations. He doesn't want to touch anything in the room in case he was to break some kind of expensive heirloom. 

Ben just shrugs, "it's the room we always get the few times I've come with my family. My mom must have talked to someone before we got here." 

They set their bags on the enormous bed and the first thing Ben wants to do is take a shower. The refresher looks quite impressive, certainly nothing he's seen before, but it's been almost twenty minutes now. As far as Hux was concerned 10 minutes was enough to get clean and then get out. 

"How long do you plan on staying in here?" He asks through the door. 

"Does it really matter? I didn't get to have real showers while training with Luke. The Temple doesn't have the most advanced living arrangements." 

"Hmmm," he guesses those are all reasonable excuses, "alright then". 

There's a pause, "if you're bored you could always join me". 

Well, there is that too. When he enters the refresher the shower walls are steamed up, he quickly sheds his clothes and slides in behind Ben. It's a little different from the other night, standing completely naked like this in front of one another.  

Ben turns and pulls him closer for a kiss, "we're here to relax Wil". 

"Mmmm...I just feel like I'm shirking my chores." 

"They'll still be there when you get back," Ben whispers into his ear. 

He feels his skin heating up and he hasn't even gotten under the water yet. He thinks he should have more control of his hormones, but why should he. Ben's here with him and he makes him feel good. Aren't they supposed to be on some kind of vacation anyways? 

"You make me feel good too," Ben whispers nuzzling into his hair. 

"I can see that," he ghosts his fingers up Ben's now hardening length, and the shiver he elicits from Ben only encourages him. He lowers himself to the shower floor and relishes in the confused look on Ben's face. 

"What are you doing?" 

'Read my mind', the tile is a little hard on his knees but warm from the water so he ignores it. He hasn't done this before but it shouldn't be that difficult. He takes ahold of Ben and starts licking up the underside of his cock. He can see Ben's eyes go wide as he looks up at him. He licks his way back up one more time and then licks across the head and slightly sucks on it. Ben's head tilts back and it lets the water run done his chest and stomach flowing along the lines of his muscles. He starts trying to take him full into his mouth.  

He finds he's wrong it is difficult, Ben's length is making it tough to get him fully in his mouth. He wills himself not to gag and focus on how good he wants this to feel for Ben. It certainly makes him feel good doing it for him, almost too good with the sounds Ben is making above him now. He keeps up a steady rhythm for awhile, Ben's moans filling the small space. 

"Wil," his voice cracks and he wants to smile. He slides his mouth off for a moment to do so and look up at Ben again.  

The next thing he knows his body is being pulled up by nothing to stand straight up again, "did you just-" 

He's cut off by another kiss, this one more desperate than the last. Ben's tongue sliding into his mouth and stealing his breath, when did he get so good at that. They're both under the water now, their wet bodies slide against each other. Ben turns him around to have his back pressed against the wall, Ben's body covering his own. Ben takes Hux's neglected cock in his hand and begins doing slow and steady strokes of his hand on him. His mouth is on him too, sucking below the neckline, on his chest and then a swipe of tongue against one of his nipples.  

He gasps at the sensation which makes Ben do it again and again. He runs his fingers through Ben's hair as he thrusts up into his hand. He feels himself getting close, he releases his hands from Ben's hair to put his hand around Ben. They start thrusting into each other's hands and soon both are coming on one another. The water quickly washes it away, and they're left to catch their breath. They exchange a few more tired kisses before leaving the shower and drying off. The first thing Hux had wanted to do was lay in the giant bed so that's what they're going to do now. 

 

\--- 

They had fallen asleep on the large bed, but Ben didn't stay asleep very long. So now he waits patiently for Wil to wake up. He's excited to go into the city and explore, it had been awhile since his last visit. He lets Wil sleep as long as he wants. Soon enough though Wil begins waking up slowly shuffling closer to him.  

"Let's go out and walk around the shops." 

"Hmmm alright," he didn't sound very enthusiastic but he knew that would change. 

Once they were dressed they left the hotel. When they start getting closer to the center of the city Wil is looking at everything. He can sense he's a little overwhelmed. 

"Have you ever been to a place like this before?" 

"Not really, there were small markets on Arkanis. I only ever went a few times to get sized for clothes, " he makes a small smile before continuing, "I do remember once though when I was really young I was able to convince one of the kitchen servants to take me with her to get groceries. She got me a piece of candy, told me not to tell anyone so I wouldn't get in trouble. She was always really nice to me." 

Wil is thinking about how he almost forgot about the memory, the warm smile she would give him. 

"Well have a good look around and let me know if there's anything you want." 

"What do you mean?" 

"Mom gave me some credits to spend, so if you see something you like we can get." 

"I have everything I need already, I can't do that." 

"Yes you can," and he makes a mocking wave of his hand in front of Wil's face. 

"Yes I can," Wil says back in a robotic voice. 

It startles him until Wil laughs. 

"I was only joking, you need to work on your mind tricks. Stop looking so worried." 

"I...wasn't really...you're so cruel."' 

"Better get used to it kid," Wil says in a mock of his dad's Corellian accent, "now come on you're supposed to show me around," Wil takes his hand and they start walking through the various stalls.  

Ben stops him to look at him, "I promise I would never use the Force like that on you or anyone I cared about," he says in all seriousness he doesn't want Wil to ever think he'd really do it. 

 Wil only nods his head slightly, "I'll keep you to that promise". 

They make their way through all the various shops, and Wil doesn't even know where to look. Ben's used to this kind of place, The Republic was nothing but tall buildings and shops everywhere. You could get anything you needed by simply walking out the door and around the corner. 

Ben stops when something catches his eye, it's a metal staff almost as long as he is tall. He thinks of Rey she's been getting really good with a wooden staff. 

She's always been like a little sister to him, following him around. He and Luke found her when they had been looking for other Force Sensitive people, she was around three years old at the time. It was clear from the beginning she was strong in the force, already able to have full conversations.  

He's lost in his thoughts for a moment before looking for Wil in the crowd. He sees him at a clothing stall, he has his hands on a black cloak. He's feeling the fabric and Ben can tell he really likes it, he drops it though when he catches him looking at him. Ben quickly buys the staff and finds Wil again at a different stall. 

"You want it right?" 

"Not really," he says with an air of indifference. 

"So you know what I'm talking about, I'm getting it for you." 

"No, I don't need it." 

"It's not about needing Wil, do you want it?" 

He shrugs, "I have a perfectly good coat". 

"Yeah that you've grown out of, come on try it on," he guides him back to the stall. 

Wil relents and goes back, Ben asks permission before taking it and putting it over Wil's shoulders. It has a large hood and a slit on the front half way down it and down the middle. It doesn't have any sleeves so he can wear whatever he wants underneath it. The fabric has a coarse criss-cross threaded exterior but is lined with something softer. 

The merchant tells them it's made of Raynon, a fabric used for visiting planets with extremely cold weather. It's also waterproof, will last for years and the length ends right at Wil's ankles, perfect. 

"We'll take it," and hands the merchant the credits before Wil can voice his protests. Wil tries to scowl at him but it's not very effective, especially when Ben tugs the hood up and it covers half his face.  

They buy some food before taking the things they've bought from the markets and put them in their room. He hires a speeder to take them far into the Lake Regions to eat, his favorite spot to come to. The air is fresh and the grasslands and water are vibrantly colored. They settle themselves under a tree to eat. 

When he looks across the field and the clear lakes he starts thinking about his grandmother. When he'd finally been able to talk to Kenobi and his grandfather he had been overwhelmed with excitement. They helped him to strengthen his mental defenses and barriers, went over the Jedi code, and told him stories of when they were alive. He listened intently to all their stories, so much had been left out of anything he had found on their lives.  

Soon though they expressed their concerns, about his predisposition to the Dark Side. They worried about his attachment and cautioned against it. A small part of him had thought maybe some of what they had said was true. But when he went back home and gotten off the ship to see Wil there waiting for him. After feeling the same loneliness he had felt coming from Wil he decided he didn't really care about their warnings. He would learn from his grandfather's mistakes he wouldn't repeat them. 

He decides to break the comfortable silence, "my grandmother was once the Queen of Naboo." 

"I didn't know that though that might explain the room." 

"She was only 16 at the time after her two terms were over she became Senator of Naboo." 

Wil looks at him, "she sounds like she was a very ambitious person". 

"She was, she didn't have the Force but she was a force all her own. She didn't bow down to anyone and fought hard for what she believed in. Her and my grandfather secretly married here as well. After learning more about her she's become someone I aspire to be." 

Wil sits closer to him, "what became of her?" 

"A lot of things happened and my grandfather eventually turned to the dark side. She tried to bring him back but he thought she had betrayed him, he hurt her in his rage. She simply lost the will to live after that, she had my mom and Uncle Luke and died quickly afterward." 

"How did you learn about all of this?" 

"At the Temple, once I was strong enough to keep Snoke away I was finally able to talk to my grandfather and his Master Kenobi." 

"Really? How?" 

"Some of those who use the Light Side of the Force can retain their form through the Force after they die. Snoke had been able to shield them away from me somehow. They told me a lot about their lives, some of their stories were more of warnings for me." 

"What do you mean?" 

"They're already worried about my attachment with you." 

"I've heard of some of the old Jedi codes, so what does that mean...for us?" 

"I don't care what they say," he takes Wil's hand into his own, "I feel a lot of the Jedi frame of mind is mostly outdated. When there was still a council they would take infants with Force sensitivity from their homes. They trained all their lives to just later serve as protection for important people. They lived alone, never letting themselves live the life they wanted. I can't live like that." 

"It does sound quite lonely," he squeezes his hand. 

"I may use the Force, and I will train with under Uncle Luke to become a Jedi, but I can't live strictly by the Jedi code. Luke's other students can if they want to," he pauses, "I will actually need to be going back soon, not as long as this last time though." 

"I understand," Wil truly does and he tries not to let his disappointment show, "tell me what else you learned while at the Temple, how's Rey's training going? What are the other students like?" 

They talk late into the day before returning to their room. They enjoy all Naboo has to offer for a few days. Their vacation comes to an end sooner than either of them wanted. They return to D'Qar and Ben spends another two weeks on base before going back to the Temple. There's still a lot he needs to do to strengthen himself both mentally and physically.  

"I'll be back soon," they share a long kiss before breaking apart and he walks towards his shuttle. 

"Ben," he turns to give Wil one last look, "I love you, may the Force be with you," he smiles.

"I love you too Wil," he smiles back before boarding the ship to return to the Temple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, hope you liked this chapter :) Gotta give the kids some good times
> 
> I have a few headcanons about the other Jedi students but I'm not sure how much I'll integrate them into this story. If you have any headcanons of your own come share them with me, I'd love to hear them about them!
> 
> Find me on my Tumblr [Here](http://ragingsolo.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Also I'm leaning towards Rey being a Kenobi, but for this story I don't feel her origin is all that important, although she will being kicking some butt later on ;)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time skips are harder to write than I thought ;^;
> 
> This chapter starts about 6 months after the end of the last chapter, and then ranges from a couple of months to a couple of years.
> 
> Thank you for being patient with my updates and hope you like this chapter!

_14:24: 'Luke and I will be going to Illum in a few days before coming back to D'Qar'_

_14:30: 'What are you going there for?'_

_14:32: 'I'm finally going to make a lightsaber, we'll go there so I can collect a kyber crystal to make it.'_

_14:35: 'That's what powers the whole weapon correct?'_

_14:40: 'It's more of a vessel to focus the Force through. I'll have to meditate and infuse the force into the crystal for a couple of days, until then it's nothing more than a rock.'_

_14:41: 'I'm excited to see it.'_

\--- 

"What is your Uncle feeding you over there?", he thought it impossible for Ben to have gained anymore more muscle than he already had. 

Ben only gives him a quick laugh before he unclips his new lightsaber and presents it like a trophy. 

"May I?" 

"Just be careful, okay," Hux knows hows dangerous it can be, but he accepts the sentiment behind the warning. 

"I will," he takes in the design and he can tell Ben put a lot of time and feeling into it, "the hilt design is rather sophisticated, I didn't know you had it in you." 

"I'll take that as a compliment," he says with a grin. 

"As you should, it looks amazing Ben," he smiles up at him. 

"Thank you," Ben beams at the compliment and takes the saber back.  

"What color is it?" from what he read they can come in any color imaginable. 

Ben powers the saber on and it's a brilliant violet color, "It's not traditional but-" 

"It's beautiful, show me some of your forms, I want to see you use it," when was the last time someone was able to see a lightsaber in action, in person, besides Luke and his students. 

He knows Ben can feel his excitement as he smiles wide, "okay let's go to my old training room, there should be enough space". 

"Alright." 

"You did research on it." 

"Yes a little. It's really an incredible weapon, the plasma blade can cut through anything. Unlike a blaster that only has so many shots the crystal gives it unlimited power. Even though it forces you to do close combat your use of the Force doesn't make that a limitation."  

He can also appreciate the aesthetics and mysticism of a saber. One would not be able to come onto the battlefield with one and not have everyone take notice. 

They make it to the training room and Ben turns to him, "do you want to try using it before I do my forms?" 

"What? But I can't use the Force," he just assumed that's how it worked. 

"The Force makes it easier to use it as an extension of yourself, but it's not necessary to wield it," Ben holds it out to him, "I know your curious about how it feels to hold it while it's on", he says and then starts waving it in front of him. 

He is, he really is, "alright", he carefully takes it from him. He grips it in both hands and hesitates a little about turning it on. 

Bens hands come out from behind him on either side to rest on top of his hands, "here, lower your grip a little," his chin is resting on his shoulder, "good, now all you need to do is push this button to turn it on". 

Ben moves away from him and he turns it on, it's incredible. He knows plasma doesn't have weight, but it still feels like it should feel heavier. He moves it through the air a few times and the energy from the blade pulses through his hands. It must be difficult to use a weapon like this, a regular blade gives momentum, but this is pure instinct. He can understand now why being Force-sensitive would improve performance. He powers it down and hands it back to Ben. 

"You could have one of your own it you wanted." 

"It's an amazing weapon, but for now I think I'll stick to my blasters." 

"I know, you're all about control," Ben motions for him to sit and he takes a stance to start his forms. 

Hux can't take his eyes away from Ben, captivated. It's hypnotizing to watch him go through his forms while the light from his saber dances across his face. Every move has a purpose, every swing of his lightsaber is a fluid motion of an unseen power. The gangly moody boy he originally came to know is now completely gone. He now sees a man in command of himself and his powers. Who exerts control of his mind and body and while still moody, can now focus his emotions into something of benefit. 

He comes back to himself as Ben powers off the weapon and turns towards him. His cheeks are red from the exercise and his chest heaves a little as he catches his breath. He swallows hard as Ben runs a hand through his once again long hair and starts walking towards him.  

He feels himself flush and fights not to fidget in place as Ben gets closer without averting his gaze. He knows at this point that it's useless to try and hide his desire for him.  

Ben leans down for a kiss, "that was amazing Ben," he whispers against his lips. 

"I'm glad you thought so," he whispers back, "when is your shift finished?" 

"Now," he presses a finger to his comm, "this is Captain Hux, I'm signing off for the day". 

"Understood Sir," a voice comes back over it. 

"Moved up again have we?" Ben leans in closer to talk into his ear, "how does it feel to have people under your command?" 

"Why don't you find out for yourself, to my quarters now." 

"Understood Sir." 

They make it back to his room faster than he ever thought was possible. As soon as they're through the door Hux pins Ben against the wall to put their mouths together and then pulls back, "do you know what you do to me?" 

"You know I do. Do you realize how hard it was to go through those forms without cutting off my own arm. Listening to the thoughts going through your head?" 

"Well then you know what I want, will you give me what I want Ben?" 

"Anything," is whispered in the tone of an oath. They slowly remove each other's clothes, so familiar with one another's bodies they're past being shy.  

Ben puts their foreheads together, "I know what you want, but tell me, you're sure?" 

"Yes, don't hold back," as soon as the words leave his mouth he finds himself pinned on the bed underneath Ben. Their bodies are flushed against one another, Ben's mouth on his neck against his pulse point, "Ben you...you'll need to..." 

Ben looks to him and his face flashes with uncertainty, "show me what I need to do". 

Hux knows he doesn't mean literally but he tries showing Ben a very unsubtle set of images in his head anyways. If the sudden reddening of his ears is anything to go by, he got it, he'll have to remember that. 

Ben quickly grabs the container of slick and dips a couple of fingers in it to coat them. The first touch of a fingertip against him is tentative, he nods to encourage Ben. The first finger slides in, it's such a new sensation that at first it's slightly uncomfortable. Ben leans over to kiss him and begins working his finger gently letting him get used to it. 

They part so he can catch his breath, "add another one." 

Once another finger is added he really feels the stretch but soon grows accustomed to it. A soft mouth is on his chin and trailing down to leave opened mouth kisses down his neck. Ben is working his fingers in and out, then crooking his fingers against him. A spark of pleasure runs through him and it takes his breath away for a moment. 

"Please do that again," he grips the arm not working him to steady himself. 

He immediately does it a few more times and the next waves of pleasure come and he's never felt something like this before, "it feels good Wil?" 

A warm feeling pools in his lower abdomen, "yes, yes you're doing so good Ben, add one more". 

Ben is now hitting that spot over and over again. He feels like a writhing mess beneath him but for the moment he really can't bring himself to care. Ben's breaths are just as ragged against his neck and he can feel how hard he is against his stomach. 

"I'm ready Ben, please," he slowly removes his fingers. 

Ben brings his body up to kneel in between his legs, his hair plastered to his face. His cheeks red and his lips are wet making him look completely sinful. He watches on as Ben slicks himself up and then lines up against him. Ben slides a warm hand up behind one his knees while the other starts to guide him in. He tries to relax as much as he can, but he knows it'll still be a tight fit.  

"I'll go slow," Ben whispers while placing a kiss against his knee, "but please tell me if it hurts at all." 

He starts slowly at first, then moves more surely, rocking back a forth. Ben wraps his arms around his shoulders and he wraps his around Ben's neck. He's all around him now and he's never felt so secure, so wanted. Whether through the Force or something else he knows without a doubt Ben feels the same way.  

They come undone at almost the exact same time, holding each other even tighter. As they come down from the high they kiss slow and sure. In this moment nothing else matters and he wishes he could hold onto it forever. 

After both cleaning off Ben lays behind him now and pulls him to his chest holding him close. He loves the way it feels with Ben's arms wrapped around him. He feels protected, needed and it doesn’t feel real sometimes. When he left his old life behind he never would have imagined this for himself, that he could actually be happy. He can feel Ben nuzzling into his hair, and his breath ghosting across his neck as he kisses it. 

'I love you Wil, love you' 

He squeezes the hand resting on his chest, "I love you too Ben". 

'Wil?' his voice sounds a little concerned suddenly. 

"Yes?" 

He feels him smile against his neck before giving it another kiss, 'seems like I've mastered a new 'trick'  

"I don't understand," did he do something without him knowing. 

'I haven't been saying anything out loud' 

"Oh", he says out loud, 'well, this could certainly be helpful' 

Ben quickly falls asleep behind him, but his mind is still going. He tries to fall asleep but it's still too early for him. He quietly grabs his datapad and goes through a few things willing himself to get tired. 

It's a couple of hours later before Ben stirs back awake, "Mmmm Wil what are you doing?" 

"Working, we've been getting intel on a location that's giving the First Order supplies. We haven't been able to determine what yet." 

"Well you can work on it tomorrow, go back to sleep," he hugs him tighter, using his shoulder as a pillow. 

"I haven't fallen asleep yet. Some of us are capable of functioning without an excessive amount of it," he continues to go through reports. 

Ben takes the datapad out of his hands and levitates it on to another table out of his reach, "you can't let yourself become too obsessed with this". 

He lets out a sharp exhale, "what else am I supposed to do?" 

"Get some sleep for one. We also need to enjoy the peace while we have it." 

"I try and I do, but we always have to stay one step ahead." 

"I know. I also know my mother could never ask for a better ally in all of this, but you won't be able to control everything." 

Ben knows that better than anyone, "I understand that but-." 

Ben pulls him to face him on the bed, "you have a brilliant mind Wil, but you need sleep to keep it sharp. You're extraordinary and I know that with you in command we won't fail in the end." 

He smiles against Ben's chest, 'you're being so complimentary, should I be worried?' 

'You seem to bring that out in me.' 

"With your training finished will you be staying here on the base from now on?"

"Yes, I've already had my stuff moved in, guess you were too preoccupied to notice."

"Who said I was okay with sharing my room?"

"It's just more practical and I knew you'd appreciate that."

"Very well," he would have wanted to be this way anyways.

\--- 

'Well I'm not sure if I'm happy about the fact that I was right about this' he and Ben are currently outside what was potentially a First Order trading post. The fact that there is a small faction of stormtroopers stationed outside the building now confirms his initial fear. 

'Either way we can find out what they're up to', they're both laying on their stomachs in some overbrush not far from the First Order's shuttle. Ben cloaking them in the Force, making them unoticable. 

'Are they using cloned troopers?'  

'No, I can tell they're different genders, their thoughts are very singular' 

'What do you mean?' 

'They all have the same mind structure, it's hard to explain. They have no free thought process, like they're brainwashed.' 

'Shit', that can only mean one thing. 

'What?' 

'If that's the case then my father succeeded in his plans. He hated how inefficient the clone armies were during the war. He always went on about how it was the reason for the Galactic Empire's failure. His plan was to one day take children from a young age and instill loyalty into them for the First Order by force. To believe in it without question and to die without hesitation. Looks like someone helped make his vision a reality.' 

Hux can’t help but grit his teeth, this was worse news than he thought they would find. Forcing people into service for the First Order from such a young age. They wouldn't even know any better, willing to die for something that couldn't care less about them. An army like that was highly efficient and more cost effective than clones. Any discrepancies could either be dealt with by reconditioning or simply disposed of.  

'Wait that one, the one with the red shoulder plate is different', the trooper Ben points to seems to be the squadron leader, 'she has more free will, joined more by choice". 

'Can you get more information from her mind?' 

'Yes', he watches Ben close his eyes in concentration, 'they're here to gather drilling supplies'.

'Drilling supplies, for what?' 

'I can't fully see it, she must not have all the information, she's just focused on this mission. I'll try to-' they both watch as a robed and masked figure walks down the ramp towards the squadron. 

"Lieutenant Phasma is everything in order?" 

"Yes, Sir." 

"Good, prepare for departure. Once we confirm it's a suitable planet Supreme Leader Snoke will want to begin construction as soon as possible." 

Ben visibly pales beside him and soon his face shifts to anger and he can feel it radiating off of him. 

"Of course Sir," the figure seems to shift his gaze, "Sir?" 

He squeezes Ben's hand, they can't be found out, 'Ben calm down' 

"It's nothing, carry on Lieutenant." 

The crew finishes loading equipment onto their ship and leave the planet. Ben stands now, body tense. 

"Ben, are you okay?" 

"No." Is all the answer he gets as Ben starts walking towards the factory. 

"Ben what are you doing?" he doesn't like the look on his face. 

"I'm destroying this place," the anger in Ben's voice sends chills down his neck. 

"How do you plan on doing that by yourself?" the factory is enormous.

'Watch me' Ben reaches a hand out towards the building. 

Hux can only watch in utter fascination as the factory starts visibly shaking. Soon workers come scrambling out of the building, still oblivious to their presence. The whole structure is starting to collapse in on itself, and Ben is struggling to stand steady. 

He's worried Ben's pushing himself too hard and tries to reassure him to stop, 'Ben you've done enough' 

Ben looks at him earnestly, 'not until it's leveled to the ground,' he then turns to his right, "I'm doing what needs to be done," all at once the building falls in on itself, smoke and dust rising from the debris. 

Ben takes in a shuttering breath before falling to his knees, "we need to go Wil, I won't be able to conceal ourselves for much longer". 

"Alright come on." 

He waits until they're on the ship and the autopilot is on to scold Ben. He's practically passed out on one of the ships bunks now, "that was entirely reckless Ben, you could have injured yourself". 

Ben simply groans and rolls himself to face him on the bunk, "I don't need you both chastising me okay". 

"I-," he looks around the ship as if he'd actually be able to see anything, remembering now Ben talking to himself out loud earlier, "is your grandfather here right now?" 

"No my namesake, glad that even if you can't communicate with one another you can still get along," and Ben huffs out a laugh while glancing to the side of him. 

"This is nothing to laugh about Ben," he sighs. 

"You're basically talking in sync now." 

"Then Kenobi's as intelligent as I've read him to be," he rubs the bridge of his nose with his fingers, "I understand your frustration, but you need to be more careful in the future. Not everything will go as well as it did this time." 

"I will, I just couldn't leave knowing that they could continue supplying Snoke with what he needs," Ben stretches his arms and lightly pulls him closer, "come here".

He has to roll his eyes, "why don't I believe you," he concedes and lays down next to Ben on the cot. 

"Admit it, you were impressed," he says and kisses his forehead. 

"That's beside the point Ben," he's glad they've taken a source of supplies from the First Order, but it looks like Ben doesn't have complete control. Ben pushes closer to kiss him again, 'wait...he's...not still here right?' 

"No, don't worry he's gone." 

 ---- 

"Ben I'm going by myself tomorrow," Wil isn't leaving room for arguing but he's not one to back down.

"Why can't I can go with you?" 

"Do I really need to remind you how you almost compromised my last mission. I've warned you in the past about being reckless," yes and he's gotten a lot better. 

"You know I don't...things happen okay, and what if something happens again?" 

"I'm perfectly capable of handling anything that happens by myself. Rationally, unlike you." 

"I do remember the last mission, that representative accused you of spreading false propaganda." 

"Things like that are going to happen, you have to learn to ignore it. While I understand your sentiment you almost mentally maimed the man, the Resistance doesn't need that kind of image. I don't want the Republic thinking poorly of us." 

"You're exaggerating, he was fine," he'd simply dug up and brought out the man's fears and made him feel it. He erased the memories from him and whoever else saw it anyways. He didn't need to be reprimanded for using his powers like that by his masters along with Wil. 

"He was not, he screamed bloody murder...I'm going by myself Ben, I'm done arguing," he grinds out. 

"Why are you being so stubborn?" 

" _I'm_ the one who's being stubborn? It's a simple meeting with one of the Senators, I don't need help." 'He still acts like a child sometimes, he might do something stupid again' 

"But that's not entirely what you think is it?" 

"Get out of my head Ben and just leave me alone! I won't let you mess this up for me." 

He wants to get loud and argue back but that's never really worked with Wil, is it really so wrong to care about his safety, "fine". 

His tone makes Wil deflate, "look, Ben, I didn't mean that, it's just-" 

 "Yes you did, go alone then I don’t care," luckily Wil can't tell he's lying. 

"Ben-" 

He puts a hand up, "It's fine you've just made it perfectly clear you don't want me around to ruin things for you, Hux. " 

He can both feel and see the hurt cross Wil's face before he could reel it in, "that's not what I meant-".  

"Yes, it is." 

'Stop interrupting me!' 

He should just let it go but Wil should have more trust in him, "I'm going to Naboo, let me know how your important mission goes Colonel Sir,".

"Go sulk then, I don't care." 'and I don't report to you.' He watches Wil storm off, fists clenched.  

He shouldn't have let his anger get to him, especially right before Wil's supposed to leave. He knows he's only stressed about going to this important meeting. He can admit to himself that he just made it worse, and yes sometimes he still can't control his emotions. He can't help it though, Wil is so sure of himself sometimes and won't accept he might need help. He thinks he needs to prove himself, but he doesn't realize he's already done that enough. 

 

Once he gets to his usual meditating spot on Naboo he doesn’t get the peace and quiet he had been hoping for. Two voices are telling him he needs to reign in his emotions. 

"It was one argument how is it any different from an argument with anyone else. Just go away." 

'You have a different connection to him than anyone else, it can be used against you. You have to think of the future and if it would be best to end it.' 

"Why, so I can miserable and alone like the two of you were?" Everyone had arguments it was no reason to leave Wil. Hell is mother and father based their whole relationship on arguing back and forth. 

'Before something bad becomes of it, we're only trying to help' 

"All you're doing is making me angrier. For people who think they're so wise, you sure don't when to stop talking." Ben doesn't know if he could really hurt a Ghosts feelings but the looks on their faces tell him he probably just did. Maybe by the end of the day, he can have everyone mad at him. 

'I don't get mad anymore, years of mistakes have shown me it is was never worth it.' 

"It sure feels worth it sometimes." 

'Go meditate Ben, calm your nerves.' 

He tries meditating, he's been trying for almost a week and a half now and it isn't getting him anywhere. It doesn't become any easier when two voices keep telling him he simply needs to calm himself 

. What does it look like he's trying to do? 

He hasn't heard anything from Wil and he should have been back from his mission by now. He knows that if something had happened he would have been told, but it does nothing to soothe his nerves. He quits for the day and tries to sleep, but it won't come. He hasn't really been able to sleep for the last couple of days, random body aches wake him up when he moves.  

He must have finally fallen asleep because now he's springing awake from his bed to start coughing like he can't get in enough air. As soon as it starts though the feeling goes away. He calms his breathing before laying back in bed and trying to sleep again. 

The next morning is the same when he wakes up with his head pounding, but it soon passes again. He sits up and rubs a hand over his head and the pain is now completely gone. So why had he felt it in the first place? Why does he keep waking up to these symptoms if he's not actually sick? Something's not right. He grabs his datapad to send a message to Wil, he's done with the two-way silent treatment.  

'Is everything okay?'  

There's no reply for an hour, the days on D'Qar and Naboo are only off by a couple of hours so he knows Wil should be awake and normally he immediately replies. He doesn't care about the fight anymore he needs a response. 

'I'm sorry about getting upset before you left for your mission you were right and I'm sorry if you're busy but can you please reply'  

Another half hour goes by and now his worry is getting the best of him. He really didn't want his mother in the middle of this but he has a bad feeling. The Force is trying to tell him something so he's going to listen. He decides he's going back to the base and comms his mother once he's on the ship. 

"Hi Ben, you're on your way back so soon? 

"Hey mom, yeah and I know you're probably busy but could you check on Wil for me?"  

"What’s wrong?"  

"He's not replying to me and," he wants to tell her his crazy phantom symptoms but decides against it, "can you just please check on him? Let him know I'm on my way back."  

"I will, but he's been keeping himself busy since he got back from his mission a couple of days ago. He's probably just catching up on sleep and reports he missed out on."  

"Okay, just let me know"  

\--  

Leia hasn't heard from Hux all day today and now worries herself. She could hear the urgency in Ben's voice so she decides to go and check on him.   

She knocks on the door and when he doesn't answer she tries alerting him through the door comm, he still doesn't answer. She uses her override code to enter the room.  

"Hux are you in here?"  

When she enters the room the lights are dimmed, "lights to 70%," she continues through the entryway. Once she's in the main room she sees him at his desk but he's slumped down over it. He just looks like he's sleeping until she gets closer, his brows are furrowed and his breaths sound labored.  

"Hux," She places a hand on his forehead and he's burning up, she shakes him but he doesn't wake up. 

"C3PO send a medical droid to Hux's room immediately."  

  ---

  "Well?" 

"Ben he's okay, but he wasn't responsive when I found him. He's caught Cardooine chills, a medical droid has administered some fever reducers and antibiotics."  

"And how is he right now?"  

Leia speaks, "his fever is a little worse, the sickness itself is not life threatening but there's not much we can do to relieve the symptoms. It just has to run its course."  

"Alright, tell him I'm almost there."  

"Ben he still hasn't woken up."

Ben grits his teeth, how can he be doing okay if he can't even wake up, "I'll be there soon". 

Once he gets there Wil will be fine, he's sure he can do something.  

When the plane lands he immediately goes to Wil's room. His mother is in the room with the medical droid, and if she's in here then that means it isn't highly contagious. No, she's vaccinated. 

When his mom raises her head she looks more worried than he'd like. He reads off of her that his fever shouldn't be so high, that his symptoms should have improved some by now. Wil is curled up and wrapped himself up in the cloak Ben had given him, which makes his chest feel tight. He's still not awake, he's pale and his breaths come short and quick. He kneels on the floor next to the bed and runs a hand through Wil's hair and it's wet with sweat.  

"Hey Wil, I'm here you'll be alright," he doesn't open his eyes but his breaths slow just a little. 

He's never really healed anyone in front of his mother before, not many know he can even do it. An illness is something different altogether, though, he can't cure it but he can relieve the symptoms at least.  He can give Wil's body some relief while the antibiotics go to work. Unlike with an injury, there's not really an obvious source or starting point. He's hoping the Force will just show him the way.  

He stands and guides Wil onto his back and places his hands on either side of his face. His fever is so strong and the heat radiates to his own hands.  

"Ben, what are you doing?"  

"Just let me try this okay?" It's not like he's experimenting, the worst that could happen is that it doesn't work. An option that he's not going to let happen. 

He closes his eyes and focuses, he's not exactly sure how he should approach this. He calms himself into an almost meditative frame of mind. He lets the Force flow through him and tries to guide it to do what needs to be done. He can feel where it hurts and starts there, moving his hands to his neck to soothe Wil's sore throat. His palm across his forehead to rid him of his strong headache. He can feel the fever slowly retreating, his lungs clearing up, and his breathing evens out. He was really able to do this, he opens his eyes unsure of how much time has actually passed. 

'Ben?' Wil smiles slightly before it faulters, 'I'm sorry'. 

'Don't apologize I'm here, you'll be better just give it a little more time,' he passes a hand through his hair,  'go back to sleep, I'll be here when you wake up'  

'okay'  

He feels weak now, and it takes everything in him not to fall onto the bed over Wil. He takes in a deep breath and walks backward to slump into a chair to close his eyes. The medical droid must have taken that as a sign to overlook Wil again.  

"Fever is receding, vitals should return to normal within the hour." 

"Ben, why have you never told me you could do that?" His mother is thinking about how she had never seen anyone but someone named Cilghal do that before. He looks further, she's a niece of Admiral Ackbar.  

"I honestly didn't know if I could or whether I should be able to do it."  

She runs a hand through his hair, she's thinking how impressed she is with him sometimes and he can't but smile, "No Ben, it's the Light."  

"I'm going to stay here until he wakes up."

"He didn't tell you he wasn't feeling well?" 

"No." 

"So how did you know? It just seems like he would have told you." 

"We weren't talking alright, we had a fight before he left, he refused to let me go with him," he raises his voice without meaning to and Wil shifts in his sleep, "I just felt something was wrong, it's like I could feel his discomfort." 

"Even if you had gone he still would have gotten sick, these things happen. People argue Ben, all that matters is that you forgive one another and move on. The fact that you could sense his pain is proof enough of your strong connection," she puts a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "it looks like you could use some sleep yourself, let me know if you need anything"  

"Okay." 

As soon as his mom leaves the room he lets out a long sigh. He's exhausted, the healing made him tired on top of not having slept the last few nights. He takes his boots off and carefully slides onto the bed next to Wil, trying not to wake him up. His skin already looks less pale and his breathing is clear. He can't help but run a hand through his hair again, and gets a small smile in return. 

They're right, as long as he stays with him he'll always lose some control of himself and his emotions. Whatever comes from that he'll take the consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! :)


	15. Chapter 15

"That was a waste of time," Ben says as he slumps in the copilot seat next to him. He's right of course but he doesn't want to dwell on it. They thought they had a lead on a First Order base but when they arrived there was nothing there. The Order had been there at some point but they were too late and the Order had already gotten what they needed and left. 

"You know you complain when I don't take you with me and you complain when I do. While I agree it was a waste of time, I wish you would just pick one or the other," he puts in different coordinates than the ones for home. 

Ben completely ignores the remark, sensing the change in course, "where are we going now?"  

"I'm making a stop by Takodana, it's not far from here."  

"Why? I'm tired Wil, we haven't slept in nearly two days, and while you can go without sleep I can't." 

"Then you can sleep on the way, we'll be there in about two hours. I haven't been back in ten years and I have a long overdue thank you to give."  

Hux knows he's asking a lot by making another stop on the way home. They had been close by though and he has been meaning to thank Maz for awhile now. Ben doesn't do as he suggests, quietly sulking most of the way there.  

He enters the planet's atmosphere and it's just as vibrantly green as he remembers. Once he sees the familiar structure he lands the ship in a clearing near the building. They leave the ship and walk out to make their way under the concrete arches to Maz's safe house, flags littering the outside walls. 

"What exactly is this place?" 

"It's run by someone named Maz, it's a rest stop for all manner of beings," they're dressed down so at least they won't stick out.

"You brought me here to get a drink?"   

"You've heard of this place then?"   

"I remember dad mentioning it a few times, you've been here before." 

"Yes, but only once, it's where I met your father. Maz helped me to meet him and got me a ride to the Resistance."   

"You never told me the whole story."   

"Yes, well since we were in the area I thought it only appropriate to stop by and give her my thanks, even if she doesn't remember me," as they approach the door Ben makes a grimace, "what is it?"   

"Something feels off."   

"It'll be alright, let's get something to eat and then be on our way, okay?" 

"Okay."

They push the doors open and it's almost exactly the same as when he had come all those years ago. The loud music against the sounds of conversations. The smell of food and spilled drinks, mixed with the scents from all over the galaxy. He searches around for Maz, walking a few steps in scanning the crowd. He knows who to look for now but it doesn't take long and there she is stepping right in front of him like last time. 

"I see you found your way," she turns to Ben "and you, there's no need to feel uneasy here, especially not for the son of Han Solo."   

Ben narrows his eyes at her and for a moment they stare at one another, "you can use the Force".   

She shrugs, "when it's necessary, come sit for a moment," she motions them over to an empty table. 

Maz sits them at a large table and gets food and drinks ordered for them. They spend time catching up, Hux telling Maz what's happened since he last came here. She asks how Han and the others are doing, especially about Chewie for some reason. He can feel Ben's lingering uneasiness, and he hasn't said much since sitting down. Hux places a hand on his knee to try and steady him but it seems to do little to help.   

Ben places his hand over his own, "I'm going to go walk around for a minute."   

"Okay," he tries not to seem too concerned. 

They both watch as Ben walks away and Maz starts talking again, "I can sense there's a strong battle going on inside of him."   

"He had troubles in the past but he's trained hard and follows the Jedi ways."   

"Yes, but the Dark still calls to him as well as the Light, he will need to learn balance, he won't be able to completely get rid of either one completely." 

"I don't understand, Luke nor Ben has mentioned that,"  Ben has let his anger get the best of him sometimes but he has come so far from when they first met.   

"There will always need to be balance in the Force, most people choose a path, the way of the Light or the way of the Dark. You can't truly have one without the other, though, it's keeps balance to have both sides. Then there are those few who can personify that balance between the two. There are not many who have been able to do it. It is hard to keep that balance and anything can tip the scale."  

"But as long as he keeps to the Light shouldn't it be okay?"  he thought all of that was past them. He has the old Jedi Masters along with Luke to help guide him. 

"Yes, but it is easy to fall to the Dark Side, to give into it. The dark is still gathering strength in the shadows, we are all a part of this and we will all have to fight. The both of you need to stay strong, you will both have to fight."   

   

\---   

Something about this place is putting him on edge, not necessarily in a bad way, he just can't grasp what it is. He's used to places like this, he tries to concentrate on Hux and Mazs' conversation but he can't he needs air or something.   

"I'm going to go walk around for a minute."   

"Okay," Wil's concerned so he gives a small smile to try and reassure him.   

There's probably a side door he could use to go outside. He doesn't want them to see him leaving the building, though. He tries to repress a shiver as the temperature in the room seems to drop. 

He hears someone screaming, hurt and panic sounding, he whips his head around but there's no one there. He takes a few steps forward surveying the room but everyone around him acts as if they haven't heard anything. His vision turns blurred and it feels cold again and suddenly he's surrounded by trees and snow. Taking another step forward causes him to bump into someone, the vision goes away and he mumbles an apology. He tries controlling his breathing, he hasn't had a Force Vision since he was a kid, but that's what it has to be. It's the same one too, he doesn't understand what it means. He needs to get back to Wil and Maz, maybe she can help explain it. 

Another scream echoes through him and it's all he hears, the sounds of the bar disappears for a moment. He feels like the voice is in head and he swears it sounds like his own. He turns to walk back to the table and this time, the screams seem to come from the stairs to his right. He hesitates at the archway before taking the first step.    

The voice only gets louder the further he goes down, yelling in anger, screaming in pain and it reminds him too much of the past but he keeps walking forward. There's soon a door to his left and as he opens it the sounds stop. The room is full of crates and boxes but one sticks out to him, he kneels on the floor to open it.    

When he opens the box he finds a lightsaber, he doesn't understand why there would be one down here. Who it would belong to. He slowly reaches to pick it up and suddenly he's on his feet caught in a full vision. 

_His boots dig into  the snow, he can feel the planet slightly trembling and has he looks up there's a blinding light. Streaks of yellow and orange illuminates the trees around him as the planet slowly pulls the energy from the sun into itself-_

_He stands above Wil lightsaber crackling...no, is it him?..'Just kill me now! I won't go there without a fight' as he lifts his saber-_

_He's swallowed by darkness, he's laying on something hard everything hurts, he feels like he's been left here forever he tries to sit up-_

_He's knocked backward onto cold steel and seven robed figures in masks surround him a blue glow illuminates their silhouettes, he heaves himself up off the ground-_

_He's surrounded by red light, "Ben!" He whips his head around and then everything starts to fade away. The lingering visages of the vision call out to him...'come to me, Kylo Ren'..._

 The vision finally lets him go and he drops the saber, crumbling to the ground, he feels empty as if the vision took everything from him, he calls out, 'Wil'   

   

\---   

'Wil' it sounds weak barely there, he snaps his head to the side, 'Ben?' there's no answer back, he looks to Maz, "something's wrong I need to go find him". 

She gets up quickly possibly also sensing his distress, "come, this way, I can feel him".   

He follows her down a flight of stairs, into an old bricked cellar why would Ben come down here?   

"Ben!" he rushes down the hallway and Ben comes out from one of the rooms to the left looking drained. His eyes are unfocused and it takes Hux back to the past and he tries not to panic, "Ben what happened?"   

Ben looks back into the room and Hux follows his gaze to see a lightsaber. It seems to snap Ben out of whatever trance he's in and turns to Maz, "whose lightsaber is that?" He says suddenly loud and demanding, echoing through the narrow space.   

"That lightsaber belonged to your Uncle Luke and his father before him," Hux can see fear wash over Ben's face. Maz quickly enters the room and comes back with the lightsaber, "take it, it belongs to you."   

Ben turns to his right and shakes his head, "I don't want anything to do with it...no you don't understand what I saw," he turns back to the both of them, "I'm going back to the ship Wil, Maz thank you for helping him all those years ago."  

He doesn't really know what to say as Ben walks away like someone defeated, he turns back to Maz, who is being quiet as well, "can you see them too?" 

"No, but I could feel their presence, their fear for Ben. Take the saber, there may come a time when you'll need it." 

"Thank you Maz, for everything."   

 When he enters the ship its quiet and Ben's nowhere to be seen "Ben?"   

'In here'   

Hux slowly enters the sleeping quarters, Ben's laying on the bunk on his side facing the wall. There's enough room on the edge of the bed, so he takes a seat next to him. He starts running his hand through Ben's hair, "will you tell me what happened?"   

"She made you take the saber."   

Ben already knows the answer but he answers anyway, "yes she did."   

"I don't want it." 

"Okay, but maybe we can keep it, as a backup. Will you please tell me what has gotten you so upset?"   

"Remember how I've told you before that I used to have visions"   

"Yes"   

"When I touched the lightsaber, it gave me one."  

"What did you see?"  

"They weren't more than flashes of images and sensations. It started similar to the one I had as a kid. I saw a planet covered in snow but this time, I could tell it was somehow absorbing a star".  

He thinks back to when they overheard the First Order soldiers talking about starting construction on a planet, "it has to be the First Order then, they must be building something, a weapon. Ben that helps us if we can find it we can stop them before they get the chance to use it. What else did you see?"  

"There were dark figures and..." 

"What is it?"   

Barely a whisper, "I heard Snoke's voice again, I know it was him," he can feel Ben start to tremble under his fingertips, before he can ask what more, " I saw myself about to kill you, you wanted me to do it". 

He stops his hand, "but you know you wouldn't do that and I would never ask that of you".  

"I know," Ben rolls over to face him and he hates the look of misery on Ben's face. It's the same one he had after Snoke almost took him all those years ago, "and I know that Force visions can't always be trusted, but it felt so real. You didn't really look like yourself in it, though, I can't explain it. If something ever happened to you-"  

"Then you will keep fighting Ben. Whatever happens, do not let it stop you from continuing on. Do not let it hold you back from stopping Snoke." 'promise me, Ben'  

"I promise Wil,"  

Hux isn't sure if it was a good or bad idea to come here now, but he just wants to go home. He moves to get up but Ben stops him with his arms around his waist, "don't leave yet, please". 

"Okay, we have time," he lays next to him and even though Ben's larger than him now he seems so small, his chin resting on Ben's head, like how it used to be. When he'd have a bad dream or couldn't quite get Snoke out of his head, "we should discuss this with Luke when we get back, see what he thinks". 

"I agree," is muffled against his chest. 

   

  

  

  

  

  

  

 

 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter this time but I wanted to give an update, should have another chapter up in a couple of days.
> 
> As always thank you for reading and hope you are enjoying the story o far.
> 
> A big thank you for your patience with the updates :)


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